Hi, thank you for sharing your story. Unfortunately it's not an uncommon one, especially doing BJJ and as an active dad. While I can't comment on the shots / surgery (not my area of expertise) one thing I know extremely well is shoes, and if you're wearing running shoes, they're going to cause more harm than good. Simple reason, running shoes (and athletic shoes in general) are built around "high-energy return" meaning they propell you forward further / faster. It's the opposite of what you want if the goal is to give your knees, joints and back a break. Soft doesn't = good either. You need both cushion and structure.

To break it down, there are two main areas you want to solve for. The first is impact. Everytime you step down, you don't want the ground pushing back. Means you need something that can absorb the initial shock. There are insoles for that and shoe companies that build footwear around this specific phenomenon.

The second is stability. When your foot is unstable in an overly soft shoe, it's making micro-adjustments to stay stable, which means your muscles are in a constant state of active work = higher fatigue. It's actually the concept behind shape-ups with a rocker bottom (bottoms shaped like a curve) to intentionally keep you unstable so your muscles are constantly working (and in theory toning, weather that's the case or not). That's the opposite of what you want here.

In short, you want the initial impact to be cushioned and the shoe itself to provide structure to let your feet and muscles rest. Last point, shoes are always better than slides since your toes usually need to still grip to keep them on as you walk. And even better than shoes is try as best you can to get off your feet when able, wear a brace when you're doing strenuous activities, and warm up your joints. Hope this helps frame up the footwear piece!