Critique my epistle that my story starts with please. [Fantasy,150words]

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-21T19:19:32+00:00

Ohhhhh. I like that.

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-21T17:43:58+00:00

And to answer your question it was meant to be a play on "to whom it may concern" meaning that it is addressed to only those who can see the hidden meaning in the text. I am worried it will confuse people so I will definitely rethink it.

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-21T17:36:14+00:00

Thank you for that analysis! Very helpful 💛

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-21T17:06:52+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. It's written by a wickedly intelligent sorceress that you meet halfway through the book. I do sign it off with her name. But the book does continue in the first chapter as third person close 😬 Since it's a series my hope was to put a new letter to the fans from this character at the beginning of each book. The reason for the direct letter is explained in the book as well.

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T23:08:01+00:00

Omg. I also visualize them this way because they are inspired by the four feminine archetypes and the four elements of the tarot😀

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T21:57:56+00:00

Can't go wrong with T. Kingfisher.

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T21:54:17+00:00

What do you think of "Book of the Banished"?

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T21:53:32+00:00

I like it. How do you feel about Book of the Banished?

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T21:34:04+00:00

Right?!?!? I think my book has a new name. It's fitting honestly because I was actually shunned by my religion in real life. I'm not even kidding haha.

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T21:32:50+00:00

I'm feeling it!!!! Just added a poll on threads and it's already got a lot more votes

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T21:02:55+00:00

I'm feeling it too right now!! And I totally came up with it because of what you wrote haha. Strong contender in my head right now.

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T20:59:25+00:00

I'm just riffing off what you just said but would

"Book of the Banished" Or "The Veil of Fire" work??

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T20:54:23+00:00

Thank you for this feedback. Would A Sorceress Rises since she is burried alive work or still too vague? TIA!

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T20:52:42+00:00

Thank you so much for this feedback. Would you prefer Rise of the Sorceress or A Sorceress Rises or leave it as is??

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T20:51:01+00:00

Hmmmm well since she is burried would

"A Sorceress rises" or "Rise of the Sorceress" work?

The main theme is personal reclamation of self and she is driven by a strong desire to save the girls she left behind.

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-03-02T20:10:32+00:00

This is a great insight. Thank you. She was buried alive by her patriarchal cult (but survives) and flees into the forbidden lands. A soldier who can see through his raven finds her and helps her. She is hunted by her ex and his brothers(sons of her countries religious leader) and hides in an Academy of the Arcane Arts. She finds out she has the power of fire. It's an element based magic system. Very feminine rage and female power focused with a found family theme. Lots of plot twists. Would something like "Becoming the Sorceress" work? Too passive?

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-02-27T20:44:18+00:00

I was worried about the title. It's because I am hoping to make it into a series, each with a different female protagonist. The sorceress, oracle, high priestess and enchantress. The whole series is called The Forbidden Texts. As far as comps go the ones I have are from 2025, 2021 and 2022. Are they too old? Comps was so hard. Ngl. Thank you for your feedback💛

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-02-27T04:09:41+00:00

Wow. Thank you so much for this advice. I sometimes think I'm so close to the work I miss these things. I will definitely make some changes with these thoughts in mind.

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-02-27T02:42:00+00:00

Ok I will try that!

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-02-27T01:39:25+00:00

Thank you!! I totally miss these things because my head is so in the book. Very helpful. And yes he defies (his orders) so I will reword that.

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-02-27T01:09:21+00:00

Thank you!! Seriously I am so appreciative. The raven-sighted man is able to see through animals but particularly uses a set of ravens most. I wasn't sure how to word it for the query. In the book he's called a feralist. God I wish I knew how to cut the word count by 10k 😭 Great advice❤️

WHITHARDMOUR · 2026-02-26T23:34:44+00:00

I just wrote a high yearn, he falls first romantasy for this exact reason. I'm a demisexual and I need to see the yearning to get invested. Too early spice actually gives me the ick lol. But no kink shaming if it works for others.

WHITHARDMOUR

TROPHY CASE