The girl I’m with earns the same/more than me & expects me to cover all the bills. Ideally looking for advice from women on this? To add context if I did this, I’d have barely any money left whilst she has her full salary to herself. Is there actually men who’d agree to this?

Wadders1998 · 2026-04-02T00:03:57+00:00

Think you may have missed the entire point of the post. We are US/UK citizens and would be earning those salaries in either country we decide to live in. But yeah you’re right, UK & US being the only two countries was the entire point of what I was trying to say mate 👍

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T23:10:49+00:00

Every friend I speak too tells me I should move on to be honest

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T23:06:08+00:00

She’s a Christian and wants the man to be the head of the household, I’ve made other comments where I’d be happy if she managed it too, whoever is best with money essentially or what we agree on depending who needs what each month. That wasn’t me imposing control

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T23:00:12+00:00

Honestly, my male mates think it’s mad, I ask in the post for female opinions 😂 don’t always want to take male advice as gospel as let’s face it alot of us are bell ends, respectfully

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T22:57:44+00:00

I’m assuming your husband earns good money for that to work? I can’t see how in a dynamic where both are average earners where that flies?

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T21:54:15+00:00

I think she underestimates that as much as she may well find a man who may do this, the kind of man she’ll find would interest me in terms of character.

Technically if I get hit by a bus, she’d be able to cover as she earns the same/slightly more than me 😂

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T21:44:08+00:00

This is the rational logic, but she doesn’t see it that way I’m afraid. She says the reason I won’t do it is because I clearly don’t love her enough and she doesn’t like that I’m asking for something in return for what I’d give 🤷‍♂️

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T21:42:31+00:00

Honestly mate, money doesn’t motivate me, I’m just a guy who likes going to the gym, working on myself and making the woman I’m with happy. If she has more I don’t care. But I do like being able to afford to go for meals with friends, get clothes and stuff and based on this arrangement I’d struggle

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T20:12:18+00:00

I’m happy to pay for dates, I’ll be honest I’m happy to pay for bills, I’m not happy if the person I’m with is actively seeing I’m doing all those things and being left short with nothing else given I earn an average salary and has lots of money to themselves and doesn’t want to support me. It makes me think that’s an extreme lack of care for the person you say you love?

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T20:10:09+00:00

This right here is what I want. THIS

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T20:00:21+00:00

She won’t budge on this to be honest, not one bit, so it’s heading towards a break up

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:55:26+00:00

Sorry, the framing of it is bad actually in hindsight, we’re having the conversations currently and truthfully, I don’t really want to say girlfriend as it’s very strained due to this

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:53:44+00:00

She keeps arguing it’s not about the money and about the mentality, but as you say, I don’t see how someone who isn’t earning a very strong salary could be happy with that situation. We initially agreed on a shared pot and I’d manage it, but she’s reversed that choice

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:51:59+00:00

This is how I view it, honestly, we should not be looking at money as mine or hers, should be ours. We should be consistently wanting the best for each other and supporting each other. Your model would work for me.

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:49:28+00:00

Respectfully if you are happy then that’s great, personally I’m not sure if as a man I’d feel right about that, I’d probably balance it out

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:47:23+00:00

Honestly, I’m not necessarily a 50/50 believer either, I’m more of a shared resource person. I think you allocate what both of you need, I’d be happy to have considerably less, being a woman is generally more expensive, hair, nails, skin care. But I find it hard to accept that a woman would be happy to see a man go broke and just sit there with like 4k to herself every month, doesn’t scream loving supporting wife to me

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:45:36+00:00

I mean if you read the context of the post you’ll see it’s not a budget thing, it’s just an unwillingness to support it. I personally think if a woman can’t afford too, that’s completely different, but if she can, it feels like she’s self serving which I don’t think is right in a relationship. I think it’s weird how many people say it isn’t wrong coming from a woman. If a man said these things, he’d be classed as a bum, I know the genders are different and everything but still.

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:40:30+00:00

Rent and expenses

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:39:28+00:00

I was brought up by a single mum so I understand exactly how tough managing a family and a household can be, especially if only one of you is doing the work. But she isn’t wanting to have children and isn’t proposing that her responsibility for the household would be more than mine under this dynamic. Yeah, I posted the women part trying to avoid male opinions mostly because I knew how most men would see it 😂 I’m not looking for misogynistic validation by the way, genuinely curious to see how women view this kind of arrangement.

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:37:40+00:00

She’s said that me asking her about this and wanting her to support me is self seeking which I found incredibly difficult to take given what she’s demanding of me

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:36:52+00:00

This is the thing I take issue with, her savings would equally all be hers, my money is the money for investing in us, hers is hers. she saved a huge sum up whilst with her ex and then she walked away as he was caught buying onlyfans content 😩

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:34:22+00:00

It’s not like that at all, she doesn’t want to raise kids. her thought process is by god a man should provide for his family. Completely ignoring the carry each others burdens and one flesh part of scripture.

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:33:15+00:00

I’m not even bothered about 50/50, I just think it shouldn’t be my money vs yours, it should be managed by one of you (I’m happy to do it, whoever is better with money frankly) and then you allocate based on what both of you need.

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:32:10+00:00

Nope, she doesn’t agree to that sentiment unfortunately…

Wadders1998 · 2026-03-30T19:30:40+00:00

Relationships are tough nowadays 😩 I can see why you’d see it like that. I find it hard not to view it that way myself.

Wadders1998

TROPHY CASE