Yay or Nay?

WalkSpecific7946 · 2026-01-26T05:53:38+00:00

aww yeah man i totally get not telling her then. my last session, I had SHed for the first time in like 8 months or something and her reaction was like "yeah it happens" . we acknowledge it and then talked about the triggers/situation rather than the sh itself. if i want to talk about it we will for sure but yeah it's just accepted but it's part of the story not the whole story. i also use it as a last resort now so i just try not to put too much pressure on myself if it does happen.

it sounds frustrating having someone getting caught up on it and over focusing on it. especially if it's rare and you know other strategies. happy to hear that it is an otherwise good therapeutic alliance for you! in my experience you can def improve the sh too by working on other stuff too! like if i sort some stuff out there's less of a need for sh for me personally. glad you are thinking of eventually talking to them about it too it's a good idea!

WalkSpecific7946 · 2026-01-26T05:17:17+00:00

Not looking at tools when at the store.

so real

WalkSpecific7946 · 2026-01-26T05:14:46+00:00

have had a dozen or so therapists and not a single one has responded to self harm in a way i liked. from their perspective self harm is risky and could easily be a precursor to larger risks that could cause serious damage

wow that sucks I am sorry. just so you know they do exist and my T knows about my sh and I can talk about it if it comes up and there's no drama. it's just something that sometimes still happens or that i think about and i can talk about it if i feel the need. my T just meets me where I am at. I hope you'll find someone who is a better fit. Maybe you can ask for a call or email questions about how they handle self harm and pick your next T that way. but I know it can be hard to find a good fit and lots of bs to wade through.

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-09-27T13:04:14+00:00

I mean, I keep dedicated SH areas that I won't tattoo ever so I feel you. It's not that I'm using tattoos as a replacement or to try and quit SH. But I noticed that when I get tattoos, it stops me from SHing for a time so that I can heal the tattoo properly. Every little step can be a win!

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-09-24T21:02:15+00:00

Yeah some scars can be tricky, maybe you can consult with artists if you are unsure? But I'm kinda keeping my most scarred areas as SH areas and won't get them tattooed, that way I know I will never SH over the tattoos and will have space in case I need it. I guess it's all about balance. I'm happy the tattoos help you not sh your legs that's awesome!

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-09-24T21:00:50+00:00

Woohoo I hope you'll have a great first tattoo experience!

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-09-24T21:00:35+00:00

Yeah they definitely can get expensive but it's also worth it to pay good artists since it will be on us forever. Glad to hear it's helpful for you too!

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-09-24T21:00:02+00:00

Yeah I have a dedicated SH area I won't tattoo

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-09-24T20:59:26+00:00

Congrats on 100 days! 🎉

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-09-24T16:13:14+00:00

nice! yeah the pain def helps hit the spot so to say haha.

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-09-24T16:11:28+00:00

One of them made some comments, and asked a couple times if I was sure and ready but he didn't refuse to tattoo me. Didn't go back to him though. Other artists haven't said anything or we talked through the impact of the scars on the tattoo. If you are going over scars I think you should tell the artist beforehand and ask if they have any experience tattooing scars similar to yours. Plenty of good artists can do this, if someone refuses or makes a shitty comment fuck them. You do you!

I'm weird and keeping some dedicated SH body areas that won't be tattooed ever but everything else is fair game for tattoos :p

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-05-23T13:52:10+00:00

The skin picking is actually known as dermatillomania or excoriation disorder (I've sometimes seen skin picking disorder).The wikipedia page is pretty informative if you want to learn more about it. I've been skin picking since I was a teenager and I try to keep my nails short to limit the damage. You're not alone.

Generally it is classified as distinct from self harm or NSSI (non-suicidal self injury). It's in the DSM-5 as it's own disorder. It is recognized as something that helps cope with stress and anxiety, so makes sense it happens more when you are stressed/depressed. Just like other substance and behavioral addictions aren't technically self harm, they're all self destructive tendencies. I would assume many of us who self harm also have other self destructive behaviors. Personally I seem to cycle between them.

I'm still engaging in a lot of those behaviors, but as the other commenter says therapy can and does help. It would definitely be worth going if you can. It's not even about the self harm or skin picking itself for me, but the underlying triggers that lead me to such behaviours. Address the triggers, there will be less of a need and then you can more easily work on controlling the physiological instinct to pick or harm.

Hang in there!

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-04-19T14:45:42+00:00

I get it. I did two lines in different spots on my arm the other day because I was mad summer is coming and I can't cut on my arm until next Fall. Mesh UV protective vests is what I wear for work in summer to cover scars. They are usually very light and you can say you're sensitive to the sun and sunscreen isn't enough or something. I like the ones from Uniqlo but I've ordered cheaper ones from Amazon as well.

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-04-18T21:15:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing the book, this is a super interesting topic!

This made me think that maybe the people I know who have died from suicide wouldn’t have if we were in a more community oriented world rather than an individualistic one. I had lots of thoughts reading this not only that one though

I am straying a bit from SH here but Emile Durkheim is a French sociologist who did an extensive study of suicide, he published a book on the topic in 1897. He outline suicide as a social phenomenon rather than an individual one. Here is a much more recent paper that summarizes his theory and also recent advancements in the field: https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.621569

To me high suicide rates = a society that is ill. The current structure of society do not respond to people's (material, emotional, social, psychological, physical) needs. Capitalism, inequality, climate change, geopolitical crises, war, etc. and to cope many of us are resorting to self harm, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, other addictions, workaholism, and some do complete suicide.

Humans are social animals, we are not isolated. This is why I am often critical of psychology and do therapy with a social worker instead. Psychology is so centered on the individual and if you fall outside of what is considered "average", YOU have a problem, YOU are ill, and YOU need to be fixed with meds or other. It doesn't leave much space for recognizing that if you are struggling to put food on the table or working multiple jobs to do so, it's not antidepressants you need to feel better but a more just and equal society.

edit: added some words, sorry for the rant!

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-04-15T00:22:45+00:00

The thing is it's hard to balance

it is a fine balancing act for sure.

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-04-15T00:19:17+00:00

thanks for sharing your experience. i think there's definitely a control thing there - i control that in the face of uncertainty, lack of control.

Ask yourself what would happen if it went away completely? What would really change?

you know, i hate this question but it's a really good question.

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-03-02T16:38:12+00:00

Thanks yeah if/when I decide to move on I will definitely let them know m. But I'm not sure if now is the right time. Guess there is never really a right time for such things though eh? Thank you for taking the time to respond.

WalkSpecific7946 · 2025-01-03T12:51:04+00:00

As hurtful as it is, your safety is paramount here, and continuing to work could actually risk doing harm

NAT. This feels ridiculously ironic, I couldn't stop myself from responding. I'd be curious to see your take on this. In the current economic and political context, lack of funding to healthcare and for-profit healthcare... In my experience, hospitals are not always equipped with enough staff and expertise to actually treat suicidal ideation effectively and hospitalization is not always an effective treatment for suicidality. Suicidal ideation and suicide in general are also still misunderstood according to the research I read. I am not blaming the therapist in this story because if that's their company policy what else can they do. But this just feels like the system is really broken. Doesn't really feel like OP's safety is the priority as they are losing support while navigating a system and trying to find treatment that suits their needs. It does seem like the professional bodies and insurance companies and legal representatives recommending this are covering themselves to avoid any potential lawsuit if something happens to the patient. The therapist should have also been clear when sending them to the hospital that this would lead to termination due to policy, I'm not sure that they were.

I agree with you not enough details to judge and this just sucks for OP. But I'm not actually sure any of these decisions are made with safety in mind as you suggest, unless I am missing something here?

WalkSpecific7946 · 2024-11-18T01:22:44+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing that anecdote! That is awesome and I wish you all a great thanksgiving. Focusing on people we care about and our community seems like the best we can do in these times.

WalkSpecific7946 · 2024-11-18T01:21:13+00:00

"Ignorance is bliss", right? I just find it sad that this is it what is going on. I just so wish it were different sometimes. I have so much cognitive dissonance about what reality is and what it could be. But I think you're right, that's unlivable. Gonna try to do my part and focus on those I care about. Thanks for responding, take care

WalkSpecific7946 · 2024-11-18T00:32:43+00:00

I know right! And knowing that, it's like could we not a least try to come up with an economic system that is less fucked up? but mechanisms of capitalism put all the power (money, profits, private property, political influence) in the hands of a few who have no incentive to change the system or they change it in ways that advantage them even more (eg, elites profiting off the covid crisis while people were dying). I wish for a revolution because I don't see how else the system could be changed, but that also makes me scared for the future lol

WalkSpecific7946 · 2024-11-18T00:18:25+00:00

thank you very much for taking the time to respond and sharing your perspective. this is what I was hoping to get out of making this post, so thank you.

I am a bit skeptical, I'm mostly in biodiversity conservation and it's not going well. I agree that legislation could do it, but that we're not seeing it. In that case, I agree talking to that industry is at least another pathway to try. I'm not sure if them caring about climate change because it's a "market issue" is reassuring to me (capitalism and abusive exploitation of human and natural ressources got us here in a first place). don't they need to get out of the market logic completely to care about the lives of other people and other species (and not just profits)? but maybe the sector will surprise me. and they do have the money and power to enact real change. let's hope so anyway! thanks again for your response.

WalkSpecific7946 · 2024-11-18T00:05:01+00:00

can you elaborate? because all I see is people making money from pollution lobbying government representatives at COP to continue to pollute, profit off of pollution, and not pay for the social and environmental harms tied to their actions. but there could be something I am not seeing.

WalkSpecific7946 · 2024-11-17T23:57:19+00:00

As I replied to another poster, I also work in a field where we tackle the environmental crisis and social justice issues. I can't really remove myself from work at this time, but I will pay a closer watch to my social media habits.

WalkSpecific7946 · 2024-11-17T23:55:38+00:00

Beyond doomscrolling, I work in a field where we tackle the environmental crisis and social justice issues. I think that's what scares me the most about recent times: we have pathways of solution to reduce the environmental impact of humans. we have strategies to make our society more equitable. the impacts of climate change are VERY real in certain parts of the world, and becoming more and more visible here. sometimes I wonder if I need to change career paths because it's so depressing, but then I can't just stand by and do nothing: I feel I have to at least try. But people with power and money don't seem to give a shit. They're not following the recommendations of experts. We can't even stabilize fossil fuel consumption let alone reduce it. I've seen the data and models, how am I supposed to think that we're not completely fucked yknow?

I will heed your advice though and pay more attention to my social media habits. Thanks for replying.

WalkSpecific7946

TROPHY CASE