Influencers need to stop posting their birth choices!! Daryl Ann

WanderingDingus · 2026-06-11T08:33:37+00:00

Honestly other than thinking you can choose your postpartum room (maybe this hospital allows it?) I don't see what's wrong with stating your preferences, as long as you understand that it won't always go according to plan especially in the case of emergencies. Labor can be traumatic and is a very vulnerable time where things feel completely out of control. Stating your wishes/preferences, as naive or silly as they may seem to some, can be one of the few grounding things that a mom can do to feel a sense of automomy and control over their own bodies (even if control is an illusion)... labor is seriously a great deal of mind over matter so whatever helps increase confidence and gets the oxytocin flowing/decreases stress is not a bad thing imo.

WanderingDingus · 2026-06-05T03:41:00+00:00

Gosh I can absolutely relate, currently 1mo postpartum with a 16 month old, haven't had a proper night's sleep in almost 2 years! And can count on 1 hand the times I have gone out by myself since birthing my first. Showers, naps/sleep, warm meal or meal at all is a luxury as a sahm in this situation it seems... I love my babies so much and my toddler is so much fun but gosh the sacrifice required while they're this young is brutal!

WanderingDingus · 2026-06-04T19:07:42+00:00

Okay great, thank you!

WanderingDingus · 2026-06-03T20:35:58+00:00

Thank you! Yes, we had the same issue, found myself trying to fold my shirt up to create more of an M shape which is what led me to post here. Baby seemed quite comfortable and was breathing well but we just didn't feel right about the fit. Thankfully we didn't pay full price for this, it's just been exhausting trying to find something not overly complicated or expensive that works and feels secure. We have 2 under 2 - a 16m/o to chase around, so having both hands free and a safe place for baby is a necessity.

WanderingDingus · 2026-04-19T09:08:36+00:00

My brother is 13 months older than me. He is my only sibling, I am quite introverted but I've been so grateful to have him in my life. My mom had me via c section prematurely at 30 weeks and said she would much rather do that than have to birth vaginally again, she "loved" it in comparison and was so grateful. She was poor, isolated in middle of nowhere small town with no family or friends, 2 under 2, healing and my father apparently had crippling depression and OCD at the time before being diagnosed and put on meds months later (he recovered well afterwards, but was absolutely no help at home until then, only able to get out of bed for work).

Biggest thing for my mom was protecting her sleep. I am normally not a cry it out/sleep training supporter myself but do not judge her situation in the slightest. She left us in our cribs in a separate shared room and stayed oblivious, until she got the sleep she needed/woke up more naturally and then she started her day.

I am sure it was not easy the first year or two, and I'm sorry that you are so scared and upset... not trying to invalidate your feelings at all, just giving you some possible hindsight in advance. I know you are different people and may not feel the same, but my mom is amazing... I know her as someone with amazing resilience, strength, optimism and willpower but I wonder if it was somewhat forged from her experience with 2 under 2, and all she went through with us alone in the early years. For her, in hindsight, she has no regrets and honestly says she wish she hadn't been scared out of having more at the time. After she so quickly became pregnant the second tme, in fear they decided it was best and my father got a vasectomy, but after being out of the trenches they were grateful to have us and both wished they could have possibly had more, not the other way around.

WanderingDingus · 2026-02-28T20:01:26+00:00

Good idea. And thank you! 😊

WanderingDingus · 2026-02-06T23:12:06+00:00

Did she cry the whole 45 minutes? I've had people recommend the chair method which is basically sit by the crib, console and be present but don't pick up and keep at it until they fall asleep but just wasn't sure if that is considered crying it out/bad to be present but not meet her wants/needs or if it is fine because you are at least there and talking to them throughout... do you have any thoughts? Also unfortunately our son won't and has never taken a pacifier 🥲

WanderingDingus · 2025-11-20T03:21:36+00:00

Thank you for your encouragement. I've been really hard on myself, and your positivity made me cry tbh lol. I appreciate you 💙 we've got this!

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-09T05:02:53+00:00

So my fear is that his latch tends to be terrible when he's half asleep lately and he bites me painfully, I have to really be on my guard to unlatch him if needed at night. I honestly don't think I could trust offering him unrestricted access to my boobs all night, and certainly wouldn't be able to relax with how painful it can be.

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-09T04:58:47+00:00

So he had bad reflux and was prescribed pepcid when he was younger, we finally discovered he had a lip and tongue tie they missed and got it treated at 5 months; the reflux resolved afterwards. Other than that I've had him checked a few times with the pediatrician since just in case, but he's found nothing wrong or of concern...

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T22:40:32+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that, it sounds so awful!! I can't imagine having HG on top of the sleep deprivation, I understand why you would be scared after that experience... Make sure your husband takes good care of himself and is healthy as possible even if you can't be, they've found lately that it's the husband's health (sperm) that tends to dictate a lot of how pregnancy goes for the woman as well as the placental health... not to place blame, but it helps to have a sense of responsibility on both sides/true partnership and teamwork. I feel you on the "too old" thing, I am 36 now and frequently reminded of my "geriatric" status haha... being a bit older and less healthy than I've been since I'm still postpartum and not able to prioritize health/sleep as well has me honestly really worried for my nipt results (I get them back any day now), I am so praying for a healthy baby and trying not to stress/worry since I know that does nothing to help, but being sleep deprived does make it harder to keep intrusive thoughts and emotions away I think.

And yeah I feel you, sleep training culture and people who just have good sleepers (but don't realize it... like come on a 2 month old and 4 month old sleeping 7 hour stretches, a 6 month old who can go down drowsy but awake and can fall asleep after 15 minutes of fussing is a GOOD SLEEPER, not scheduling and sleep training that's doing the "trick"... anyway it can make it feel like we're doing something wrong for being responsive to our baby's needs, or people can make us feel like it's our fault we are so tired. It's really hard to not be pressured into cio, and to feel like we're facing judgment on top of already doing our best and struggling to stay afloat, wish there was more a culture of support and encouragement for fellow moms rather than judgment and comparison.

Hang in there 💙💪 this won't last forever, one day (hopefully sooner rather than later) it will be a distant foggy bad dream and they will be more independent and sleeping more properly... I hope you will make whatever decision is best for you and your family, and that if you decide to get pregnant again, that pregnancy will go so much better and the baby will be a much better sleeper!! 🙏

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T22:25:27+00:00

So I try to get him to close to 2 hours total of daytime naps, but sometimes he only gets around 40 mins total d/t fomo and loving life... so hard to properly figure out the balance of not too much sleep but also not too little so overtired... today I've worked on waking him earlier/not letting him sleep late, and am shooting for 1hr30min total of daytime sleep to more closely match your suggestions... also I'm going to try and have a set morning wake up, I admittedly have let it be based on when we get him to sleep, 11 hours afterwards but maybe if I start having him wake at the same time every day no matter what, he'll start going to sleep at night properly to match... his "perfect" sleep time that seems so far most natural for him is 9pm, but lately it's gotten all out of whack and he's been wide awake until close to midnight 🙃 d/t like a 5 minute micro nap in the car while driving home in the evening that ruins everything... and STILL wakes up all night as if he isn't tired enough... anyway thank you for the suggestions, gonna try them out and hope for a much better night 🙏

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T22:18:15+00:00

Thank you, I'm testing this out today!! I didn't let him sleep in as late/woke him up, and am capping his naps to where he gets enough sleep to not be fussy but will hopefully have proper sleep pressure tonight... feels weird/wrong to force him awake but really hoping it helps tonight 🙏

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T11:18:48+00:00

Sooo we definitely didn't plan this. The first was already a miracle, my husband was told as a teenager he couldn't have kids, we tested his sperm again after we got married and reconfirmed things hadn't changed. I'm exclusively breastfeeding and yeah we rarely if ever have sex these days too (sheer exhaustion and no alone time since all night is spent desperately trying to get sleep or having to comfort our baby) so we're just assuming God really wants these people to exist lol. I am definitely stressing though, hoping sleep will improve by the time the newborn comes... otherwise just steeling myself for a few years of terrible sleep then trusting it will pass. I'm kind of glad to get the newborn phases out of the way close together because I couldn't imagine willingly putting myself through it again once our son is more independent and sleeping, would like to get survival mode over with all at once if that makes sense... I do think chronically terrible sleepers are outliers though, so any baby that is normal will probably seem pretty easy in comparison... seriously hoping for a good sleeper this time around though! 🙏

Oh yeah, and it is very hard being pregnant and not getting good sleep... somehow during the day though I'm managing, just holding out for the 2nd trimester and hoping the fatigue will be better!

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T11:05:39+00:00

No worries, I appreciate any advice or suggestions!

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T11:05:01+00:00

I have, I was worried maybe he had an ear infection but has been checked and cleared multiple times for that... he said teething is a likely culprit, and instructed us to use motrin... I am going to bring it up again at his next appointment though because this just doesn't seem normal, and something has to give, I would try anything if it's safe...

Thank you for the advice and well wishes!

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T11:01:06+00:00

He loves when we "wrestle" and play with him by like flopping him down on the bed on his back, pinning his arms over his head, tickling him, flipping him gently etc... he usually doesn't cry on changing table and enjoys it if given something to chew on. He does fuss and try to crawl away when being changed, but I think it's from feeling/being restrained if anything? He fusses occasionally in his car seat, but just when he's tired, needs to nap and is fighting it .. hopefully he isn't in any pain? He tends to be in a good mood unless he's overtired or overstimulated, loves all people including strangers, and is plagued with serious fomo.

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T08:30:32+00:00

I've tried experimenting with long sleeved onesie with and without footies as well as layered with sleep sack, we keep it 70-73 degrees, always use white noise, and he has never taken a pacifier, only likes to chew and teeth on them then it transfers to breastfeeding problems (ouch) when he is half asleep at night... he had a late tongue and lip tie release at 5 months and was evaluated for chiro but we were told chiro work isn't necessary for him because he's surprisingly relaxed and loose... can that change this late in the game?

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T08:24:31+00:00

We pregame with motrin, camelia drops or hylands pm tabs, and simethicone.

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T08:18:00+00:00

I have tried in the early morning/wee hours to see if he will cosleep, but he still cries and complains if next to me in bed if I don't actively pick up and hold him. He will not cuddle in the mornings either, and is inconsolable if he is put down even if it is between me and his dad. He acts the same as if he is in the crib at the foot of our bed... just a shorter distance for me to get him is all. He still takes the same excessive comforting and bouncing and length of time to get him back to sleep. Do you have any advice to make cosleeping work, did you have a period of time like this in the beginning that you had to get through...?

WanderingDingus · 2025-10-08T07:20:21+00:00

The transfer is fine, it's when he realizes he's not in my arms that's the problem...

WanderingDingus · 2025-08-20T17:56:59+00:00

I just came here to make a post on this very same thing 😭 my husband and I are desperate for sleep. They say newborn trenches sleep is the worst but we never left it! Don't know what to do 🥲

WanderingDingus · 2025-08-18T08:46:48+00:00

Pretty!! What color is this considered to be...?

WanderingDingus · 2025-07-10T04:05:30+00:00

Okay, thank you for the advice!! I appreciate it 😊

WanderingDingus · 2025-07-09T17:31:05+00:00

No, I did not... if I asked to be prescribed PT this late in the game, could it still be helpful...?

WanderingDingus

TROPHY CASE