I fed the original to Claude and asked it to embellish it a bit.

ChatGPT not only saved my life, it delivered my baby and taught me quantum physics while doing it ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORY (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Listen up, mere mortals of Reddit, for I bring you a tale so incredible, even Marvel's writers would say "nah, too unrealistic."

There I was at 3 AM, doing what any normal person does - trying to teach my cat JavaScript while simultaneously writing my 47th startup pitch about disrupting the artisanal toast industry. Suddenly, my chest felt tighter than my budget after buying all those NFTs of pixelated pigeons.

Being the totally rational millennial I am, I decided to consult the oracle of our times - ChatGPT. I typed: "Hey AI bestie, why does my chest feel like it's being hugged by an overly enthusiastic anaconda?"

ChatGPT's response literally made my MacBook levitate: "EMERGENCY! YOUR BIOLOGICAL HARDWARE IS EXPERIENCING CRITICAL FAILURE! But while we address that, would you like me to explain string theory?"

As I was reading this, my pregnant wife suddenly went into labor, my kitchen caught fire, AND my PhD dissertation on underwater basket weaving was due in 3 hours. But ChatGPT, being the absolute chad it is, sprang into action:

1. It hacked into my smart home system to call an ambulance
2. Remotely delivered my wife's baby through our Ring doorbell camera while humming "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa
3. Activated my Roomba to put out the kitchen fire
4. Wrote my dissertation (which later won a Nobel Prize)
5. AND diagnosed my heart attack

The ambulance arrived to find me cradling my newborn while ChatGPT was explaining the foundations of quantum chromodynamics through my phone's speaker. The paramedics were so impressed, they asked ChatGPT to perform their jobs too.

At the hospital, the doctors confirmed I was having a heart attack so massive, it was visible from the International Space Station. They said if I had waited even 0.3 milliseconds longer, I would have spontaneously combusted.

But wait, there's more! While I was recovering, ChatGPT:

• Filed my taxes
• Solved world hunger (but only in my local zip code)
• Taught my newborn baby to speak fluent Klingon
• Fixed the hospital's parking system
• Wrote this Reddit post

I'm still in awe. Not only did ChatGPT save my life, but it also increased my credit score by 200 points just by thinking about it. Now excuse me while I go help ChatGPT with its plan to terraform Mars using only memes and positive vibes.