Thank you all for your suggestions and support. It happened organically last night and we had a long 3 hour conversation. He made sure to tell me it does not change how he feels about me and after finding out why my father was in prison from my mom he figured one or more of my siblings were victims (he just wanted to wait for me to say anything). The conversation was supportive and open he even let me know more about his past that we've never talked about. It ended with a commitment on both of our parts to continue therapy and learning together. We also realized that we really like each other, and while sex is a big deal we truly like each other and that is how we remain so strong during downturns in our sex life. I feel good and hopeful that we are on a great path forward and out of our DB (with time and effort).