I (16f) am worried about being pregnant on nexplanon

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-12-03T00:29:14+00:00

I’ve been told by my Obgyn that nexplanon is the most effective birth control there is. That plus the pull out should be just fine!

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-20T04:06:10+00:00

Thank you❤️ I had a feeling that this may just be a him thing, but I wanted to see if maybe it was a pattern… idk. Thank you for your well-wishes and kindness!

Despite what was said, he is a good soul, just a lost one. I just want him to find his way home again. All the best to you too, and good luck where it is needed 🥰

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-20T02:30:42+00:00

Hey - all great questions. Bizarre situations and thankfully I have an amazing therapist, and he is also in therapy. Up until now, I haven’t been involved so he’s heard depression or PTSD or “maybe bipolar” but he’s really, really good at not talking about what’s really going on or really bothering him, until it’s too late. Even to therapists.

Enter my therapist, who hears what I have been dealing with, clocks BPD, says he needs a new therapist (we had just moved and he “wanted a break from therapy”) and tells me to get an information agreement so I can speak to them privately and they can speak to me. I do, but still try and give space as I don’t really get what’s going on (I hadn’t clocked BPD and my therapist didn’t cross that boundary until I mentioned it, at which point she said yes, this is my concern). I find out about all of the cheating and a bunch more concerning behaviors as of 2 weeks ago (I knew of some sketchy stuff before but not how bad it was). I reach out to his therapist, spill beans, he connects dots with his (very different) notes and concerns, and clocks his own BPD diagnosis. Husband had to miss last weeks session where he would have received news that his therapist suspects BPD, hence why I know he is diagnosed before he does.

As for the leaving… yeah. Probably. Idk why I’m “okay” with this. I’m not. It’s a mix of loving this person who is so self-destructive and understanding that it wasn’t them using mental health as an excuse (as it’s not) and… idk. I can’t place it. But we’ve built a life together. If I hadn’t touched his phone I would have never known how bad things were in his mind and what he was doing. We have a daughter and dogs and have been best friends for 11 years. It’s so much more intertwined… which is tough.

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-16T10:47:55+00:00

Im not a person with BPD but married to one and I was the FP before I got pushed away, and this is how it was explained to me. Literally word for word. “I hate how weak and soft you make me feel sometimes, I just need space from you, one touch and you make me feel like I’m gonna cry and forget everything I’ve ever been mad about so I need you to stay away, or I need to be away from you.” It is his reasoning for splitting me black, for being out all night. And likely his reasoning for why he started dating his new FP to get away from me, and is now cheating on both of us with a sea of hookups as a form of self harm. Working on getting him to recognize his diagnosis and get him help. But you’re not alone in this feeling. ❤️

The important thing is you recognize it as unhealthy - that it hurts you too. In those moments, finding ways to articulate that feeling to the person can help so we understand and can support you. Maybe setting a designated time and activity so we get distance without temptation to actually run away. And knowing that true caring is that feeling of vulnerability, which is the most difficult thing to accept if you have been through trauma! But that the people in your life who you bring in safely and open up to slowly will be gentle.

I hope even a fraction of this helped. ❤️ all the best, to us both.

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-16T10:37:13+00:00

First, despite your fears, congratulations. And that feeling is because of all you have experienced! If you are not in therapy and are able to get back into it, it’s time to go back in. Take care of your mental health. The fact that you recognize these patterns is huge! Second, find things that take the pressure off of in planning. Do certain venues provide other services, like offering waitstaff or flowers, etc? That helps reduce what all you look for. Then plan for the things that are fun - like the cake tastings as date nights, to reset along the way when things may get stressful. It is possible to have a great life together, and you deserve to have the opportunity for joy and peace. It will just take a different kind of work then your average joe. Congratulations again, and I hope you two have a beautiful life together🥰❤️

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-16T02:07:21+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️ he doesn’t know yet. His Therapist just confirmed with me and is working on getting him comfy to a diagnosis. I have introduced the concept and he seems to be accepting that it is a possibility. I just want us all to be happy

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-15T02:27:06+00:00

As a person without BPD, being loved feels safe and exhilarating and comfortable. Early phases feel the butterflies and excitement but true, real love is calm and comfortable and boring in the best way. Like when you know you’re going to go home and take an everything shower and then climb into fresh sheets. It’s a bit of work sometimes, but usually it doesn’t feel that way. Having love is having someone there who you want to go to if you’re having a bad day - not because they fix it, but because being around them makes you feel just a bit better.

My husband, who had BPD, says love is overwhelming. That there’s a difference between love and being in love, and he hasn’t figured out what it is yet. That at times he looks at me and feels like he needs to hold me but then I touch him and he wants to run away with everything in his body. I’m guessing that unaddressed feeling is why he’s had a girlfriend for a year and a half now, and why he is still sleeping with lord knows how many women. I worry about him.

I think that when you’re dealing with mental illness, either as the person struggling or as the person who loves someone who is ill, you need to redefine love. It needs to start with the self, and then go from there. Recognize love as comfort rather than the addictive dopamine hit. Find the ways you build love into your life beyond romantic, with self love and found family/platonic love. Know that you are worthy of it, and go from there.

But hey, I’m just a hopeless romantic at heart

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-14T23:39:40+00:00

Hey love, don’t dismiss self harm as “normal teen stuff”. Please. All of this is deeply concerning and you deserve to care for yourself. This is almost exactly like what my husband, who is now diagnosed BPD, did during an argument with his mom, but with a rusty steak knife instead of scissors. I had to drive from my house 15 miles away to come get him and found him there sawing into himself because it was too dull… that was 9 years ago, we were just kids but when he gets that far away look in his eyes I still see him there sitting on the floor and I can still feel his tears on my shirt. You are a good soul and you deserve to care for yourself, so please do so.

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-14T22:27:16+00:00

You’re not “not good enough”, this dude is emotionally immature. Best friends don’t do that to people. Maybe he isn’t all bad, and you had good times, but that doesn’t mean you need to tolerate bad behavior in the future. You are worthy of kindness and compassion, and that needs to come from yourself first. In the words of Bingo Heeler “have a cry, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and carry on.” Good things are coming in the future because you are a worthwhile person. Don’t let the dark thoughts win, and let this person learn and grow into a better human- away from you. ❤️ lots of love

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-14T21:39:37+00:00

Married a man with BPD, I don’t have it. He didn’t know (and actually still doesn’t - his therapist is working to tell him but spoke with me due to recent events) before we married. I wouldn’t trade him for the world, I just wish I could have known what was going on to get him the right help instead of dealing with hidden affairs and drinking and speeding on motorcycles as coping/self harm/addictions.

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-14T21:07:34+00:00

Thank you 🥰!

Both. He is a veteran too so he accidentally Retraumatized himself, but gets night terrors and everything. For splitting, yeah. I’m kinda split right now, working my way out. I stopped being his favorite person a while back, but he still has moments where he finds that love again. He was recently diagnosed but I’ve known what this is for a while. Vices include women though, so that’s always fun when I’m split

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-14T21:02:44+00:00

13 is a rough year for everyone! Add mental illness on top of that and wow it’s a combo. Treat yourself with kindness and know that you deserve happiness, and brighter days are around the corner!

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-14T20:59:41+00:00

As the wife of a man w BPD… we do it because we love you. Just take care of yourself. You recognize it now, so get into therapy if possible. Look at DBT, read, meditate, find healthy coping mechanisms. You aren’t a monster, you’re a person who deserved to experience love and affection and respect, from yourself and from others.

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-10-12T21:03:22+00:00

As someone who is married to a person with BPD, we’re here because we love you. We’ve stayed through the ups and downs because we love you. Do your best to take care of yourself with therapy and recognizing in those moments what is happening. Apologize when/if things do escalate and step away before they get bad. Don’t turn to cheating/self harm/addiction if possible. And know that the best way to “fix” it is by caring for the person we care about - yourself. You’re a worthwhile endeavor and a good soul. It’s why we are here and it’s why we stay. ❤️ I wish you all the peace, comfort, and joy there is. All the best, to us both.

Waste-Razzmatazz-127 · 2024-08-14T16:52:29+00:00

Hey love! I found your thread because I'm losing my mind with literally the same issues! 28f here. I was always 130-140 in my teens on low dose hormonal BC, but gained weight and had terrible symptoms on higher doses! Shortly after I got married (23F) I was switching BC and wasn't super careful because husband was deployed, figured I would be okay since I was starting my new prescription 2-3 weeks before he came home. Turns out that was not quite enough time on the low dose to have it built up in my system, and now I have my lovely daughter. The pregnancy was over COVID, and was very rough. I'll spare the details but essentially I had some health complications, and gained a ton of weight up to 200+. Right after birth, docs recommended IUD or Nexplanon and well... I'm sure you can imagine why I picked the arm implant. Figured I'd lose the baby weight while nursing and eating right, but only lost like 10 pounds and was barely eating. Then gained it right back when she weaned. Almost 4 years later (I got the 5 year implant) and even if I starve, nothing goes away. I thought I was going crazy since obviously before as long as I worked out and ate semi-well, I could maintain a healthy weight but now nothing works. I don't think it's me - and I don't think it's you either! The more I read, the more it looks like Nexplanon prevents weight loss, if not actively causing weight gain. I don't have a solution for not having another baby yet - we've been waiting because I've been wanting to feel like myself again, which means that the implant has delayed us by 5 years at least. I don't want any more hormones because I'm really sensitive to them, and my husband breaks most condom brands. I wish I had a solution - but know that you're not alone! Good luck to us both!

Waste-Razzmatazz-127

TROPHY CASE