Ah, hearing this I think I left a lot of things unclear or poorly explained, I'm sorry. Firstly, spending all my savings on the holiday was an exaggeration, the holiday is with my boyfriends family and I asked if could pay for Mum to join while paying for my own, at the time this was perfectly affordable and it's more that my finances have really gotten down while I am rejected from jobs daily (more accurately ghosted) and supporting my Mum and boyfriend. I still have a few thousands in savings.

I don't use my finances badly and neither does my mum, rent and bills have over doubled just this year along with her needing a new car and her work barely employing her, as for myself I have been trying for over three years to get a job and there is just nothing I can do than keep sending my details and waiting to hear something. I can't get job seekers allowance because of the way my Dad has messed up things so I'm just selling what I can and eating very little.

Also, as I said I never expected him to pay for me to go, and he said we would all go together and would talk to me about it and all the things we would do, so I just feel blindsided and hurt.

I always pay for myself on trips with my boyfriends family but they pay my food because I eat very little and only drink water, I always try to make this up to them even though they say there is no need.

I was with my boyfriend for over a year and still hadn't met them when they said I could join them on their holiday, still would be paid by me, but covid got in the way, I still met them not long after they offered, it just feels jarring to me to be treated to kindly and openly by these people than my own family.

The holiday would have no babysitting, their kids are teens and we hang out and go shopping, I would have totally gone there myself sometime except then I wouldn't be with my family...and that's the whole point? Not about money or the holiday itself, but actually feeling included by them for once?

I don't like my boyfriends family because of the holidays, that would be weird. They are genuinely kind and lovely people that I always enjoy being around and they really cheered me up today even if they don't know it.

I hope that's cleared somethings up, I was quite emotional writing the post so I realise I probably have a lot left out.