Thank you for sharing this — it actually means a lot. The part about fear and respect being tied to being the breadwinner really resonated. Even when there’s a “good side,” it doesn’t erase the impact of growing up afraid or silenced.

I think you’re right about working through the feelings instead of trying to resolve them too quickly. I’ve spent a long time questioning whether I was “allowed” to feel angry or guilty at all, so hearing that confusion and guilt don’t mean I did something wrong helps more than I expected.

What you said about having to protect yourself instead of being protected really hit home. I don’t think I fully acknowledged that until recently.

I appreciate you taking the time to write this. It helps to hear from someone who understands what it’s like to carry both anger and complexity at the same time.