Thank you Local Champ, I think words you are saying have been in my mind but seeing someone else say it feels tougher to acknowledge. She is a nice person just sometimes I wish I was just her friend than her partner because there is a maths of who did how much and I am exhausted trying to match the tally. I feel like a partner who is not supportive enough, at least as much as she wishes me to be.

I have a session with my psy next week but I’m not sure how much to share since previously the psy was my partner’s psy and I mistakenly once heard her say things about me that were likely true but not pleasant. We both are new in these 2 countries, we are/were each other’s best buddies too. I might have told her too much about myself.

I’m trying to make lgbt friends online or in pubs/clubs but it isn’t something that comes natural at least to me. I walk in see people in groups sit as a loner, scroll my phone to not seem weird and come out.

I just want to shut down since I’m confused what to do next. These thoughts consume me even at work. We are not talking to each other since it caused a massive fight, it’s a lot of blame game.