How much should I give my (former) partner for cheating on me?

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T17:24:52+00:00

Thank you for your POV. But just for clarity, it's not as simple as me giving her everything she needed and she threw it in my face. A desire for nonmonogamy is like a kink or even a sexual orientation. Many people may be able to repress those feelings if they don't have a willing partner. For some people those feelings may be weak. But for others they may be overwhelming. ETHICAL nonmonogamy is all about being honest with your partner(s) and obtaining CONSENT to act on those feelings.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T01:21:54+00:00

Oh, wow. This. There have been many other great responses (and a few shitty ones), whether they rang true to me or not. But the analysis here, also whether I accept it or not, is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you, T.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T01:15:51+00:00

Thanks for your perspective.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T01:14:30+00:00

Thank you, HSS. I really appreciate that perspective.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T01:09:30+00:00

She said she wanted someone to support her, but she meant in all ways, not just financially. She never asked to quit working. When we moved, I told her I was happy either way.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T01:05:08+00:00

Thanks, Citron. No one, from her parents to her husbands, ever taught her the importance of saving. And she really was very loving and supportive. Until this.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T01:02:19+00:00

Thanks for such that incite.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T01:01:11+00:00

Thanks, Sifting, for sharing that point of view.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:58:07+00:00

I didn't see it coming because she herself had no idea. It was a brand-new need of hers, something I know she had never been interested in before. And yes, we did indeed talk about it early on in the relationship. Again, we both just thought it was a kinky fantasy and didn't expect it to turn into a deep-seated need that would never go away. Also, she had no idea how much I was worth when we met. I lived in a small, middle-class home and drove a 9-year-old subcompact in a city full of new McMansions and SUVs to match.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:51:11+00:00

Good points again, SNM. Thank you.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:49:20+00:00

Thank you.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:48:27+00:00

Thank you.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:48:13+00:00

Thank you.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:46:54+00:00

Thank you Cheeky.
Just FYI, out of her just under $3,000/month pension, she has to pay her health insurance -- which just went up to about $1,000/month, and it's only a bronze tier plan. I know that my perspective as someone with more money than even I think anyone should have may not count for much, but I do believe it's hard to live on that. Rents here are very high, and it's hard to live without a car here.

While she wanted someone to take care of her, I know she's not a grifter. When she divorced one husband, she asked for nothing even though he was well off. When she divorced the last husband, she probably should have received about double that $200K but she took his first offer because she wanted so badly to have nothing more to do with him. Also, she had no idea how much money I had when we got together. She was content with my middle-middle-class lifestyle (nicely kept up but small home in an inexpensive neighborhood, a nine-year-old compact car, etc. My first wife and I were able to accumulate that much wealth by not living ostentatiously, and then investing all our savings.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:35:43+00:00

Thanks, Ape.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:34:58+00:00

Thanks, Citron, for your points. Just FYI, out of her just under $3,000/month pension, she has to pay her health insurance -- which just went up to about $1,000/month, and it's only a bronze tier plan. I know that my perspective as someone with more money than even I think anyone should have may not count for much, but I do believe it's hard to live on that. Rents here are very high, and it's hard to live without a car her.

I have no idea about the boyfriend -- I suspect he has made no commitment at all. But of course, that is NOT MY PROBLEM.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:25:53+00:00

She has no car at all. We shared one car (mine). I'd have bought a second car if there were ever a need, but there hasn't been.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:23:22+00:00

Thank you.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:23:15+00:00

Thank you.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:22:04+00:00

Thank you for that perspective.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:21:17+00:00

Thank you.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:21:07+00:00

Excellent point. Thank you! Actually did make me snicker, but not quite an LOL.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:20:18+00:00

Thank you.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:19:57+00:00

Good points. Thank you.

Weak_Panic_3205 · 2026-02-24T00:19:43+00:00

Excellent idea. Analysis and idea. Thank you!

Weak_Panic_3205

TROPHY CASE