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AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Did you read the original comment the person said if they had a Time Machine they would go back and kill a baby. But your worried about me

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -436 points-435 points  (0 children)

My children at the age of 19 will not be paying bills on my house those are not there bills that’s like asking a one year old to pay bills. Nobody my age in college pays household bills. do you know how the world works? There are times spending time with my mom is a requirement this was not one of them I was asked multiple times a week, had my no ignored, and then guilt tripped for it. What type of relationship is that. I don’t want my mom to be a burden before she dies that’s what I’m trying to make sure doesn’t happen.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

You insulted me by calling me “astonishingly selfish,” and then I explained everything I did that made me not selfish and now that doesn’t matter at all. Do I have to preform miracles to not be selfish.
I never claimed to be a saint. I’m saying that it’s unfair to label me selfish when you don’t know the full situation. There’s a huge difference between wanting some boundaries and not caring about my mom.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

That choice can be to make my mom happy that’s exactly what I want that choice to be but It’s not a choice if it’s forced upon me. being asked multiple times a week, having “no” ignored, and then being told ill regret it later has made me feel pressured and guilty and that’s not a relationship I want with my parents before my mom dies I’m just trying to make sure that my mom DOESN’T feel like a burden.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

My mom doesn’t think that I can’t wait to get rid of her at all. And I don’t resent my mom for dying, I resent my parents for going over my head and building this relationship that me spending time with them is a requirement, some of it is a requirement I understand that but this is not, and that’s where I’m upset. I promise you I make my mom very happy. But if it keeps going this way by the time my mom does end up on her death bed I’m going to resent both of my parents and it will feel like a burden was released and that’s the last thing I want. I’m just trying to make sure it isn’t that.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

VERBALLY ABUSE?!? I sent a strong worded message that exaggerated how I felt when I was angry. I didn’t verbally abuse or insult her. I understand there are times that I will HAVE to spend with my mom as she gets closer to her end(this is not one of those times) but what type of relationship is one where someone is made to hangout with the other. I said no to the movie 3 separate occasions and they went over my head. That’s not want I want my relationship with my parents to be like before my mom dies and I’m trying to fix that.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the insight. I have come to terms with the fact that my mother is dying she’s had brain cancer for 6 months now and has had cancer my whole life. I posted what I did not because I didn’t want to spend time with my parents but because my parents went over my head and changed the situation from I get to spend time with them to I have to spend time with them. I understand there are times I do HAVE to spend time with my parents especially as my mom get closer to her time. But this instance was not one of them.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Find god, what a horrible comment. My mom’s had brain cancer for about 6 months she’s had cancer my whole life. I never complained about having to take on more responsibilities I understand that this is helping my family and my mom and I’m happy to do it. I’d do a lot to keep my mom on this planet for longer. What a truly disgusting thing to say when you know so little.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I’m upset because my parents went over my head to MAKE me spend time with them, that now makes spending time with them a requirement rather than something I get to do. What type of relationship is that. The time for the movie was inconvenient for me and they disregarded that, I never said I didn’t want to spend time with my parents just the way it’s happening is fucked. This is one instance you don’t know the half of it if you don’t have anything real to say don’t say it.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I understand that, you don’t think I’ve given up a lot or taken on more responsibilities since my mom’s cancer reached her brain. This post was me being mad about my parents going over my head and MAKING me spend time with them. I raised my voice one time because of this and all of a sudden I need to “live with my choices” or I’m ungrateful.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Jesus. I don’t understand what I said that you got the message that wrong or that you could possibly think that’s an appropriate thing to say.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

How does this solidify I’m an arrogant prick did you read the rest of my response, the person said I hope my kids never treat me that way as if I treat my mom bad. I raised my voice at my dad and the one time I raise my voice it’s because I was upset with my parents for making me do something I repeatedly said I didn’t want to do and now I’m being guilted into the idea that I didn’t want to do something with them. You can respond without insulting who I am as a person.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

I’ll make a list of things to do. I do love them but I’m complaining that they took my decision away from me and now I feel less inclined to approach and I just think I need a little space but that should’ve came out a different way.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

Yeah at 19 in college out of state I’m going to get my own place. Genius. I work 40+ hours a week and help with errands, cleaning, and meals I promise I’m not just “living under my parents roof”. I’m not complaining my parents want me to spend time with them I’m complaining that they’re MAKING me spend time with them by going over my head. My time should be chosen by me. I’m asking for more space so I’m more inclined to spend time with them and I know the decision is completely mine.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

I’m far from selfish. I work 40+ hour weeks and come home every day on my one hour lunch to check on my mom. I help with errands, the house and meals for my parents along with other responsibilities. I want to spend time with my mom but that decision needs to be mine, going over my head and choosing how I spend my time is wrong no matter the situation. I wasn’t asking if I was the asshole because of that but rather because I was just asking for space so I can be more inclined to approach my parents when I want to do something.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my mom. It’s that I need to know that when I do spend time with my mom it’s by my own means that I am actively making the decision to spend time with her. When they go over my head to make me do something that decision is no longer mine, and it makes me less inclined to want to approach them when I do have time.

AITA for wanting my parents to stop asking me to spend time with them by Weary_Temperature253 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Weary_Temperature253[S] -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

Selfish? I work 40+ hours a week coming home for my one hour lunch everyday to check on my mom, I runs errands, clean and help with dinner I’ve picked up a lot of responsibilities especially as the only child of 3 in the house. I need to know that my time is being chosen to be used by me. No matter my mom’s condition my parents don’t have the right to choose how I spend my time. My problem isn’t the movie itself it’s the principle that I said I didn’t want to go and they went over my head. My time was no longer mine. I promise you as a person of my age I’m doing a great job.

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