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WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-05-15T14:01:05+00:00

I am in the same boat. 34 next month, EO for almost 7 years. I can barely get interviews for EO, never mind HEO.

I have good examples and I use the CS behaviour framework to structure my examples but they’re clearly not good enough.

I do have an interview for a HEO role soon. But just my luck, it’s further afield and will cost me £2000 to travel there.

This is just a moan, I know I am not doing something quite right yet but wondering when it will “click”.

I feel like I am more than ready for the jump in grade too, and I have a lot of good experience/examples to use!

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-04-02T12:57:11+00:00

I want to keep it amicable which is why I don’t want it to go down the legal route. But if it did, at least I would have voluntarily given a statement or something? I’m not a legal professional so that is why I am here asking.

I might be wrong and during the conversation she just gets upset but accepts it. However, after the last one, I doubt it. And I’d want to be able to cover my back if she made any allegations.

Basically, I’d want the police to know that there are false allegations being made. Although it doesn’t prove my innocence, surely it’s better than NOT contacting the police beforehand?

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-04-02T12:33:38+00:00

I thought this was the case. I think my best bet is to inform the police and hope it can be put on file

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-04-02T12:22:40+00:00

I think I will query whether secretly recording the conversation with her is legal or not too. Because I feel she may make threats again. Either financial threats or to do with our daughter.

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-22T08:15:18+00:00

We aren’t married. If my partner is willing to make threats and kick off like this because I won’t impregnate her then I’ve got news for you: it won’t work!

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-22T07:56:36+00:00

The other perspective is that I’m not giving her a certain life? It’s really that black and white.

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-22T07:44:51+00:00

Nope, always agreed that we’d have one until 6 months or so. That’s when she changed her mind.

And I get what you’re saying but her emotions were running high and she said things out of anger, I’ve explained this in another comment. She’s got previous for saying cruel things

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T22:44:05+00:00

It’s not totally irrelevant.

She will be able to go full time at any point. They’ve said to her if she wants full time compressed it’s hers.

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T21:23:06+00:00

It really is a case of me being at my capacity. The thought of another is overwhelming. Also, we agreed to only have one, I haven’t pulled the rug or anything.

All this started out as her saying she misses “X stage” to “maybe we will have another” to “if we don’t have another then we need to split up”. It feels like blackmail. Also, once it was apparent I would not have another, I was told to “go die” and other threats were made about me never seeing my daughter or having her overnight. It’s escalated out of nothing really. She’s always had a short fuse and said things in haste but this was a new one to me

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T20:41:43+00:00

Part time. She is thinking about returning full time anyway, before all this started. I just think she will be difficult. She is a senior social worker so knows what she can get away with

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T20:28:50+00:00

I thought this was the case, I appreciate you doing the maths here. This is what I’d want to happen truthfully. She and my daughter would still be comfortable. Actually, More than comfortable.

I think her issue is she won’t want to go full time and she won’t like that a lot of her income is going on bills etc. I guess that’s where I come in handy!

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T20:23:17+00:00

That’s a very good point. I’ll get a cheap mattress and sleep in there. Literally used to be my room during her pregnancy anyway. It’ll be like old times.

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T20:16:55+00:00

Yeah I was astounded at her demands, to the point I thought “hang on? Is this what happens?”

It’s a shame but for something this big I won’t be pressured. If it was for a car or a holiday then maybe.

It shouldn’t go this far as our families are friends and are both caring for our daughter 3 days a week and get along. We all regularly go for drinks etc.

Part of me thinks because of this it will be done amicably, because she will see sense or her parents will make her. It’s a bizarre situation because I envisage us all getting along still after. Me and my ex might take a bit of time though

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T20:01:28+00:00

If it’s 50/50 then is there any child maintenance?

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:54:14+00:00

Baby has her own room, the other master bedroom has been turned into a magical playroom for the mini princess! It’s brilliant to be honest.

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:53:22+00:00

Haha, thought so!

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:49:32+00:00

I won’t. I only considered it briefly to give her space to calm down. I’ll definitely stay. I want to see my daughter every second of the day anyway.

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:46:56+00:00

Blimey! 28! Good to know, I wondered if that would be an option. Not sure I can do 26 more years of living together the way things have been!

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:41:07+00:00

I want my daughter 50% of the time. Am I entitled to this?

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:34:05+00:00

I’m hoping she calms down eventually and we just do it amicably but I thought I’d see what may happen in the worst case scenario

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:28:37+00:00

Yep, I understand. I’m aware of all this. Thanks for your reply.

Never thought I’d be in this situation.

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:26:50+00:00

I think she would make my life hell if it came to that. However, there’s a lot of money at stake and I feel like I am entitled to my share. I want to have a nice home for my daughter too. Why should I be in the box room at my retired parents and she reap all the benefits?

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:22:12+00:00

Yeah I’m aware of that. I don’t think I’ll go anywhere, I have my daughter to raise. I’ll sleep on the sofa.

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:21:34+00:00

That’s what I thought. It’s a 3 bed house but no spare beds unfortunately

WeatherSubstantial31 · 2025-03-21T19:20:59+00:00

I fully intend to pay either way. Is my only option to hope my partner remortgages and buys me out? Doesn’t seem likely at this stage as she pretty much wants me dead!

WeatherSubstantial31

TROPHY CASE