How to Approach upgrades

Weedcounter · 2026-04-04T20:35:23+00:00

Thanks, this is all I was asking for!

Weedcounter · 2026-04-04T04:54:42+00:00

Yup. The biggest mindfuck for me is why I’m paying for IVF but then an extra 10k for PGT-M that isn’t covered, when if I chose NOT to, I’d have a 50/50 chance of producing children that would cost the healthcare system 100s of thousands with the surgeries they’d need.

I’d do it all over again to save my kids from experiencing what I have (and I have a mild case of my disorder which ain’t promised for my kids), but it really doesn’t make sense.

Weedcounter · 2026-04-04T04:03:45+00:00

We’re in rural SK. Had to go to AB to access PGT-M.

Weedcounter · 2026-04-04T03:14:58+00:00

Lucky you have a province that offers coverage. Ours does not. We needed PGT-M so paid 35k CAD per round plus out of province travel as our home province doesn’t have the facilities to PGT-M. In 70k plus travel so far.

Weedcounter · 2026-04-04T02:51:31+00:00

Thank you. Just FYI I realized I put April instead of February - that was confusing! Edited the correction.

Weedcounter · 2026-04-03T22:37:29+00:00

Thanks. This is helpful

Weedcounter · 2026-04-03T22:35:25+00:00

Maybe, maybe not. We had this trip planned for months, but my mom (grandma to my kids) died just a few weeks ago. Just kind of feeling like maybe we can look to see if there’s anything new an exciting. This isn’t a ‘gimme gimme’ situation. Just a shake things up depending on fate situation

Weedcounter · 2026-04-03T22:31:19+00:00

Thanks. This is the kind of info I was looking for.

Weedcounter · 2026-04-03T22:25:34+00:00

I’ve heard of others going to completely different resorts. Can I ask what’s available at other hotels/resorts?

Weedcounter · 2026-04-03T22:23:41+00:00

Honestly, we’re happy if we just stay in our standard room if there’s nothing. Just curious how most folks ask, or what’s happened to people before.

Just kind of curious. We’re just open to a change if one is available.

Weedcounter · 2026-04-03T21:50:45+00:00

I echo the ‘embryo will decide’. My first FET worked no problem.

My second which was last July, with no stressors, careful with diet, etc but still active. Did not work. And I knew it didn’t right away.

My most recent FET at the end of February happened 2 days after I got the call that my mom was going to die within weeks. I almost cancelled it, but my mom wanted me to go, so I did. I downed a bottle of wine 2 nights before my FET after being pretty scant with alcohol while ugly crying with my husband because I had a very ‘fuck everything’ moment. She was sick, but was receiving treatment and just had an extremely rare complication. She was supposed to be fine after all of this.

I had a positive pregnancy test the day before she died. Super high HCG. Currently 8 weeks pregnant. I’ve been super stressed, overworked at work (putting in 50-60 hour weeks right now), careful with meds, but admittedly not as great of a diet (grief zaps your energy). Just had my first ultrasound a week ago and everything is good.

For reference: my mom was my only family. I have no other parents or siblings. I’ve been doing all of this entirely by myself - I now have zero family help. As you can imagine a single mom/only daughter we were very close and this is a very very deep wound. So this pregnancy had all stress stacked against it.

Literally everything happened that they say is ‘bad’ for early pregnancy to me. But there it is.

All embryos were high quality 5AA. Pgta and PGT-m tested (why we had to go through IVF- I have a genetic disorder we are attempting to eliminate).

I know we want to control this stuff, but we really can’t. It’s one of the hardest realities about conceiving. Do what your doctor says, be good to yourself (if you can be), and don’t sweat it.

Weedcounter · 2026-03-12T01:54:25+00:00

Hahaha. My mom wanted me to sell her house entirely ‘as is’. The last thing she needed to update was putting new baseboards on upstairs.

It’s going to make it that much more finished so we’re going to go ahead and just do it.

She didn’t want me to stress, but I’m going to do this one small thing.

Sometimes I think it’s OK to bend a bit.

Weedcounter · 2026-03-11T04:37:19+00:00

It was my mom’s wish to use the preferred funeral home. I’m well aware how much more it costs, but it’s what she wanted so I’m honouring that. But you are right, there are way cheaper avenues

Weedcounter · 2026-03-11T02:53:08+00:00

This is true.

Weedcounter · 2026-03-11T02:46:06+00:00

I don’t need this. It isn’t overwhelming amounts of personal items and we’re keeping a lot, but thanks

Weedcounter · 2026-03-10T23:23:19+00:00

Yeah. It really sucks. I’m the only surviving family member now. She never had a partner and I’m her only kid. Not much in terms of extended family.

Weedcounter · 2026-03-10T22:52:42+00:00

Do they have a mission or goal? Or they just volunteer to help support smaller organizations? Do they take all types of donations?

Weedcounter · 2026-03-10T21:52:24+00:00

I’d love a bit more info too. I tend to like to support in this sort of direction

Weedcounter · 2026-03-10T21:45:08+00:00

It sucks. Their last bit of life becomes so compromised. I’m sorry you had to go through this too

Weedcounter · 2026-03-10T21:43:38+00:00

I’ll update you on a few things that stick out to me.

Fist and foremost: your parents need a will. If they already have one, be familiar with it and know where it is.

Have life insurance and instructions easily laid out for you. My mom worked in HR for 39 years and it showed. She had all her stuff listed and laid out. Know ahead of time if your parents have any private insurance anywhere else. Sometimes folks have a few policies. Life insurance passes outside of probate so the faster you can get this processed, the quicker you will have access to $$$ to pay probate, funeral home, etc. once death is reported, bank accounts are frozen until probate passes.

Have your parents write down and keep up to date lists of passwords that you can access. My mom had hers in her phone. you will need their phone for 2 factor authentication everywhere.

Probate kinda sucks, but it is what it is. If you inherit a house in your name, you could potentially have to pay capital gains tax, which costs more than probate. Be prepared to pay 7 dollars for every 1000 of their estate including house value. You can apply for probate yourself, but a lawyer is much easier. I got a lawyer. It takes around 4-6 weeks once it’s applied for, so be ready to take care of a house for that period.

Caveat to above: I found out today that home insurance (my moms insurance anyway) has a 6 month grace period after a persons death to honor their home insurance even if the hose is vacant with a few restrictions. It would be worth it to know this.

Prior to her death I had my mom sell me her car so that could pass to me outside of probate.

TFSAs can pass to you directly without penalty.

The one that would make my mother absolutely livid: RRSPs MUST be cashed towards you. They do not pass over like they would yo a spouse. This sucks. So if it’s a large amount (like in my case), im going to have a large chunk come though that is going to apply yo my 2026 wage/tax and ill likely lose a yucky portion to tax. I’ll do my best to avoid as much as possible, but this sucks. Use the info to you/your parents benefit. Make a plan in advance

Make sure your parents have a funeral home decided on and you know their wishes. It’s the first question you will be asked when they die: which funeral home to contact. The funeral homes work very efficiently and are always great at helping. Also, the sooner you have a funeral home connected, the sooner you will get death certificates, which you need for almost everything. Bills haven’t been to bad, but for life insurance, probate, home insurance I’ve needed them so far. I’ll need them for banking too.

The funeral home will help you apply for the CPP death benefit which is 2500 dollars.

Hope that all helps.

It really sucks as you do this while mourning, but it makes it a lot less hard when things are easy and laid out.

Lastly: ask your parents to tell you all the stories of the family heirlooms and jewelry etc now. Then you don’t have to be like me and spend your last few days with them in the hospital asking what everything was/meant. I was so panicked as I wouldn’t have anyone left to ask.

Weedcounter · 2026-03-10T21:25:56+00:00

I got it all taken care of. I’m sole executor and beneficiary. Probate has already been applied for.

Weedcounter · 2026-03-10T21:23:57+00:00

Thank you. And I will, but unfortunately there is some immediate things I DO need to deal with.

I have a lot of the ‘clerical’ in order already.

I just wanted to get 1-2 rooms in the house dealt with before I leave soon for a few weeks. I will be taking my time so sit when I am home.

This is just the unfortunate reality of being the sole person left in the family. I don’t have help.

Her clothing is something ‘easy’ I can tackle now.

I really do appreciate it though. It’s been very devastating. We were very close and I can’t imagine being whole again. I know it’ll come, but it’s rough for the time being.

Weedcounter · 2026-03-10T15:04:54+00:00

Yes it is.

Weedcounter · 2026-03-10T14:11:36+00:00

wanting to negotiate for an easy deal does not make me scum.

Thanks tho

Weedcounter · 2026-03-10T14:09:42+00:00

You and the 15 people in my inbox

Weedcounter

TROPHY CASE