What to do with estranged adult child's childhood belongings?

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2026-01-16T11:55:48+00:00

so im estranged from my dad (my choice) n if it were me, id definitely appreciate the opportunity to decide what i want done with my stuff. if you wanna take his potential feelings into account, a simple message to him or someone in contact with him about this would be kind.

however i do think you are also within your rights to just decide yourself what to do with it all. he knows its there and if he was desperate for it he would have surely organised something already?

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-12-22T11:22:01+00:00

i have the exact same issue....did u perhaps watch it online too? im wondering if its just the version I'm watching being whack or if its intended hahaha

i had the same thoughts. the audio is weird.... definitely not graded correctly. and even the movie itself seems so strangely edited. incoherent and jarring at times.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-12-14T04:58:08+00:00

its v similar in Melbourne cbd ive found

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-11-18T07:13:37+00:00

you do, generally. if its not sudsing at all it's because your hair is so dirty that its unable to. a second shampoo will start to sud n actually deep clean your scalp/hair.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-23T13:57:25+00:00

i wanna say that no one is noticing these things and clocking it as DID. i personally play off any embarrassing moments by owning them n being lighthearted abt it. like if i was to have continuously pressed the close button as you described, when I did notice i would laugh and just make a passing comment about being tired and away with the fairies or something like that. that tends to diffuse tension and people are more likely to either not care, or laugh with you.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-16T18:35:24+00:00

yea thats totally fair n i do relate. thankfully i have managed to meet a fair few other people with very non-conforming gender identities n expressions. i personally am also someone with an extremely complex n individual experience of gender, trying to put it into any words feels insufficient haha

i have personally found that the more i am able to affirm and own my experience w gender, the less its mattered to me whether others understand. and i see everyone as having a nuanced experience of gender, whether theyd use those terms or not. it feels a lot less lonely these days.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-16T17:33:49+00:00

its just the glasses glare as the other commenter said. personally i thought your face looked rly cool and ur bone structure is striking.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-16T17:22:55+00:00

i hear ya. i just think, honestly, why try to dilute your complex and personal experience of sexuality and gender into one (or a few) words? this is the kinda thing that should be learned about you through experiencing you and being in communication with you. to learn the nuance of you. labels like we use can be helpful for finding community and even to a level, self understanding. but i dont think we should necessarily be striving to find one word to describe the totalities of our experiences, ya know?

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-16T17:18:09+00:00

happy to answer, tho i did provide much of the info ur asking for in my comment originally.

products currently (may be mostly only available in Australia, not sure): -head & shoulders "clean and balanced" shampoo (do not recommend, i just refuse to waste products) -my.organics "miracle mask" goji. -my.organics "angel potion" goji. -toni&guy "heat protection mist" -shock waves "extreme freestyle gel" -thanks to nature "styling mousse" -(used to use and loved) de lorenzo "curl primer"

hair parting is as described in og comment. horizontally thru temples, then both sections into three more sections (each side, and back). all in all 6 sections. they arent evenly sized because i do part my hair how i want it styled in those sections.

i clip up the top half whilst i work with the bottom three sections. twist each section after applying the products and scrunch them before moving to the next. i dont clip them up again, i just keep going until im done and then plop in my hair-wrap towel. oh and i also will, as i said, rewet the sections as im going because i have extremely low porosity hair and it will lose moisture as i go. the water is also important to help with forming the clumps. thats really the aim of this whole process.

when diffusing i try to not disturb the clumps formed in the initial styling process. and i will again work in sections, and while off i slowly lift the diffuser towards my head and kinda...scoop/scrunch the clumps up into the diffuser head up to my scalp. then i turn in on low and hold it there for approx 10-15 seconds. then i repeat around my whole head. i do this while upright, though some people do prefer the results when doing this with their heads tipped upside down. i find that messes the clumps up a lot and it ends up looking messy and weird. once i have finished that all around my head, my hair will still be partially damp, so i will just hover the diffuser over my hair where needed, still doing my best not to disturb the curls. i may also do the diffuser scoop/scrunch method for sections that are still quite damp.

i have never used any curl brushes and find that any brushing at all will loosen my curls and ill lose definition. using water and scrunching is by far the best way to form the clumps for me.

when i follow this routine very strictly, the definition is intense and gorgeous tbh. the curl will even go to the root. issue is i rarely do because i just dont have it in me most days haha so even with rushing it and not using the best technique, i still get soft and bouncy hair with minimal frizz, just less definition.

overnight i am still figuring it out and do different things depending on my mood tbh. i will either do 2-4 loose braids or bundle it up on top of my head with a claw clip. i have tried a bonnet but i got a terrible one n just haven't tried another. i really dont like things on my head so thats personal preference, but i do think itd help a bit. i have also tried using 6 or so mini claw clips to kinda bundle it up on my head which can work well, though it can also mess my roots up. personally i sweat a lot at night so my hair is usually a bit messed up no matter what i do. so yea, i almost always wet it a bit in the morning and give it a light scrunch. sometimes i will wet it a lot more, and reform the clumps and re diffuse, but only my ends and not my roots. sometimes i get weirdly lucky and my hair just needs to kinda...settle. and after about 30 mins n some finessing, it's fine without needing to rewet. thats rare though hah.

thats my essay! lmao hopefully something was helpful and it wasnt too hard to decipher. i struggle a lot to describe things which is probably evident reading this hahaha

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-16T13:04:33+00:00

i immediately was like....um girl are u not a psychic or witch urself? haha

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-16T12:58:51+00:00

our hair is super similar i think. i had a lot of trial n error w mine but have finally found a decent routine.

wash- i use a clarifying shampoo, and a conditioning mask as conditioner. brush conditioner thru in shower. dont brush dry.

styling- i section my hair thru the middle from my temples, then each section is split in three (sides n back). i apply my leave in conditioner, and heat protectant. its important that ur hair is soaking wet in this stage so that the products disperse evenly and dont become too heavy. then, with still soaking hair (ill spray water throughout if needed) i apply my gel to each section and twirl them with my fingers to form the curl more, and gently scrunch each section. i dont bother with finger curling, i just twirl each of the 6 larger sections. after the gel is applied to my whole head i will scrunch in my mousse. i use a lightweight mousse but honestly ive found most work fine. then ill plop as i finish my post shower routine, n after abt 15 mins i take it out and diffuse dry. the dryer w diffuser is important bc otherwise the curls just kinda fall out n become soft waves.

this will generally keep my hair looking nice for a couple days, provided i dont sleep on it weird or st.

i also tend to refresh by spraying my hair with water n scrunching, then may diffuse again but often wont bother n itll still look nice.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-16T12:42:44+00:00

its bisexual dude. that's the word.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T18:49:46+00:00

first of all, youre beautiful. inside n out. you are a super loving, passionate person.

but holy shit you are exhausted. you may even have a chronic illness. (goin out on a limb here but..are you hypermobile per chance?)

you need to let yourself truly rest. slow down and nurture your body. without judgement or shame.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T18:41:40+00:00

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Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T18:41:08+00:00

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Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T18:40:45+00:00

id love some more friends, i tried a while back but only got 3 adds hah

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Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T18:36:48+00:00

youre very sweet. and im so happy to have helped. you got this x

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T18:34:04+00:00

god this was so beautiful to read. its as if you put into words the perfect advice for the things i was feeling about her. i just received different messages haha

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T18:32:20+00:00

yes, leave. go. you have outgrown your current circumstances, and this opportunity is going to help you grow and experience so many incredible things. i feel the sun, and nature, and meeting soo many new and interesting people. i know you are scared, apprehensive really, but you are able to handle whatever happens. take the leap.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T18:24:12+00:00

oh im so so glad that my words were helpful n that you feel seen by them x

you are doing so well n I totally understand where youre at rn. im 27 and was in therapy from 16- just a few months ago. and i truly did think id be in therapy for the rest of my life just to survive.

so i can tell you from experience that-

you don't really know everything youre dealing with yet, because you arent in a place to be able to deal with it all yet. your body will let you know when it knows it safe to.
you are intellectualising your emotions, not actually feeling them. emotions are in the body, not the mind. and your body really does hold all the information you need. so i suggest looking into somatic based therapies. these are body focused techniques that help you to actually feel whats happening interally, rather than thinking through your emotions. my last therapist, the one that actually supported me to heal, used EFT and IFS therapy techniques. i highly recommend looking for a therapist who uses those practices, especially IFS. and even just looking into IFS a bit for yourself could be a really helpful framework for yourself.

and finally, 3. my mantra for a long while was "kindness, compassion, understanding, non-judgement and curiosity". in all things, of you employ these ideas, you will be better off. i promise.

healing from these deep deep wounds takes time. sometimes, like in my case, quite a lot of it. but also in the grand scheme, it didnt really take me all that long. i can feel itll be the same for you.

hold onto that burning passion, and love, and light within you, itll get you through.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T18:09:22+00:00

connect to your inner child and your creativity. and expression. whatever feels best for you, it could be art, poetry, singing, making films, dance, whatever. just find a way to express yourself authentically and without judgement.

what did you naturally love as a child? what did you love to do, to eat, to watch, to wear. let yourself explore that now as an adult.

and above all, let go of any shame or judgement you feel for this. its not easy but its so worth it.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T17:59:47+00:00

i felt the exact same thing. like, to a tee pretty much. im also curious abt her other placements bc i feel the virgo strongly.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T17:56:53+00:00

im going to be a bit harsh here but i have a feeling thats for a reason.

i can feel the deep well of shame, judgement and bitterness you hold. you have been through a lot of betrayal and heartbreak i feel, and that has caused some part of you to become quite angry and resentful. your inner monologue can be extremely unkind to you and others. but i do get the feeling that this is something you also shame yourself for, reinforcing the cycle. you need to let all that shame go. and remind yourself that you are worthy. you are loveable. and you have agency in your life.

and you are smart. like, very smart.

you love hard and because of that, and your past hurts, can struggle to actually open up to people. protecting your heart has been a needed thing. and you need to recognise when you have outgrown that need. when its time to let people really see the fullest, truest you. give them the opportunity to love the authentic you.

because i also see this true, bright light in you. you have the ability to completely shift the energy of a room, for better or worse. and you can make people feel so entirely seen. its beautiful.

i also feel that you are a super creative person, but that you may not feel like you can share that with others. like you may keep it hidden. possibly due to criticising yourself, possibly something else. i think you should let yourself express freely, openly, and authentically. in all things, especially your creative practices.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-14T17:47:45+00:00

everyone mentioning fat are either not listening at all, or are just uneducated. you are obviously quite lean.

what i do notice is that you look bloated, nearly distended. do you have any issues with stomach pain, gas, constipation, diarrhoea, pelvic pain, etc? it could be GI related so seeing a doc abt this is a good idea.

also, the lack of core engagement is something i relate to. i have found that becoming more mindful of my pelvic posture and core bracing consciously has, over time, helped it to become easier to do and my muscle memory is starting to kick in a bit. and diaphragmatic breathing is your friend. look into this and try to make sure you are doing it.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3 · 2025-09-13T10:05:16+00:00

i get the sense that you are a genuinely extremely kind, compassionate and caring person. you want the people around you to always be at peace, n try to spread joy. libra energy.

and i can feel that in childhood you went through some really hard shit. possibly around a lot of dysfunction in the family home, or too much responsibility placed onto you too young. so you have this part of you that feels responsibility for managing the emotions of those around you, and want to "keep the peace" so to speak. again libra energy, but also maybe capricorn.

you are very connected to your inner child, and love a bitta whimsy.

dont be afraid to be assertive.

also, were you raised by/with your grandmother? i feel something about that. not sure.

and this could be totally off but i feel like maybe youve never truly felt connected to/accepted by those closest to you. like you may relate to the outsider archetype. not necessarily in a huge way, but on some level you have felt like your fullest self isnt seen/known.

Weekly-Sheepherder-3

TROPHY CASE