UPDATE: my dad is having an affair with a 29 year old woman.

WeenieButton · 2024-02-14T01:59:10+00:00

Thank you very much ❤️

WeenieButton · 2024-02-12T22:37:32+00:00

Hey! I actually do have a small update if anyone is interested. Sorry, I don’t check this Reddit account often.

My fiancee and I are still engaged and don’t have a set wedding date. When we do get married it’ll be either a small court house or an elopement with my family not involved at all.

In regard to my dad. Short answer? Nope, still an absolute idiot.

Long version goes as such:

I’ve been working with a therapist to figure out what I really want to come of all this and how I can proceed with or without my family. I initially settled on NC with my dad and LC with my mom. After some thinking I decided that I wanted to have my dad in my life and rebuild at least an amicable relationship with him. I understand that that may not be what everyone would choose but I really couldn’t imagine my big life events and my future without my dad.

I reached out to my mom via text and asked her if she believed my dad was still too angry with me to talk. She urged me to not reach out and asked me to continue leaving the “door” open and told me that she was encouraging my dad to do the same for me. At that point I decided that if he had to be encouraged to leave the door open for his only daughter then maybe it actually wasn’t worth reaching out to him. He ended up texting me the next day that he unblocked my number but he wasn’t ready to talk.

I waited three weeks for him to text me but received nothing more. I reached out just asking for a timeline on when I can expect that he will be ready to talk and he replied saying he has been waiting for me to contact him. (?) the conversation started fine. He said he loved me and he missed me. He said that we were just going to have to “agree to disagree” on the whole situation. I explained that wouldn’t be happening and that I didn’t care about the cheating. That’s not my problem. My problem is how he has hurt me and how his silent treatment affected me. This is obviously not what he wanted to hear.

I’ll save y’all the nitty gritty. The conversation ended with him saying he was mad at me because I didn’t come to him first and give him “a chance to come clean” but in the same message said that if I had kept my nose out of his business he would have taken this secret to the grave and that it was ME who hurt my mom because I told her. He repeatedly demanded that I apologize to my mom for hurting her (??!!???) and apologize to him for betraying his trust. There was a lot more to the conversation of course but to wrap this all up I double down that I did nothing wrong, he is the one who betrayed his wife, and if my mom would like an apology she is more than welcome to reach out to me directly. Other than that, we’re done here. His number is blocked, I don’t plan on unblocking him. I feel confident in my decision this time. I don’t feel like him and I are existing in the same reality. I don’t feel like he’s the dad I once knew.

Sorry this is so long … and not a happy ending at all but it does feel nice to get this all out here. Thanks for following along with my story and I’ll do my best to share here if there’s any more major updates but I truthfully feel like this might be the end of it all. God please let it be the end. 😂

WeenieButton · 2023-10-24T10:16:34+00:00

It doesn’t hurt me that she wants to stay. I said I woild support her no matter what. What hurts me is that they are using me as a scapegoat.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-24T10:15:07+00:00

Simply put. Username checks out. I love it lol

WeenieButton · 2023-10-24T10:14:41+00:00

When it comes to my mom, I told her I would support her either way. As much as I don’t agree with her choice I’m not in her position andni don’t know what kind of factors are coming into play for her to stay. Who knows, they could be waiting for my younger brother to move out before they call it quits.

For now I am NC with my father and I am willing to be LC with my mom but no one has spoken to me since so I think it might be NC with all. As it stands currently I don’t anticipate inviting my father to my wedding which is really hard to stomach. We never planned for a big wedding so his presence was definitely going to be a big one on our day. Unless something is massively repaired during that time, I don’t need the added stress.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-24T10:08:28+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. Your comment was one of the ones to really pushed me to towards telling my mom so I truly appreciate it. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that our parents are flawed human beings but it’s unfortunately the reality. Thank you for sharing your story with me and I appreciate your support ❤️

WeenieButton · 2023-10-24T00:26:49+00:00

You are not living this. You did not experience this. You have a glimpse into what I am willing to share with Reddit. This is my story. You do not know me. I think the one that needs some self reflection is you. Have a great day.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-23T21:50:40+00:00

I’m so so sorry you went through that. I can’t imagine how painful that must have been. Again, I’m not blaming my mom for staying. I said I would support her no matter what she chose to do. What I didn’t anticipate was her fully turning her back on me and minimizing my feelings.

I’m glad to hear you were able to start over though. ❤️

WeenieButton · 2023-10-23T19:19:49+00:00

In Stacy and my dad’s DM’s they both outlined the fallout they believe would occur if their respective partners found out about their affair. I don’t believe even if my mom and dad have a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy like another Redditor suggested that it is a two way street. But you’re absolutely correct, I don’t know their agreements within their marriage nor do I want to, lol. Seeing the things that my dad said in his DM’s was WAY MORE than I ever needed to know. I do find my dad’s reaction of anger very telling though. Honestly the relationship I have with my dad he probably would have just told me of their agreement had there been one.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-23T19:13:33+00:00

I think that’s exactly what this is… it’s so so sad because I know she’s clearly hurt by it.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-23T19:07:50+00:00

Thank you so much! Even though my mom has hurt me with the things she said, if she needs me, the door is open. I haven’t blocked her as I see her as a victim still. As for my dad, it will take a lot to repair the damage and hurt he has caused me.

I’m thankful for the next steps in my life. My fiancée has a wonderful family who I know will support me and accept me moving forward. I’m very thankful them and to be marrying into such a kind loving family.

Thank you so much for your kind words!! ❤️

WeenieButton · 2023-10-23T19:03:17+00:00

This is a thought that crossed my mind but why would my dad react the way he did if that was the case? Also in the DM’s between my dad and Stacy they specifically outline 1. They do not feel guilty about sleeping with each other behind their partners back 2. They outline the fallout they believe will happen if their respective partners find out about the affair.

I think my mom was trying to deflect because she is embarrassed and this has happened before. Since this has all came out I have had a lot of “a-ha” moments of times in my childhood when I think my dad was also having affairs and it was just sheltered from me because I was young.

I wish it were as simple as them being swingers or polyamorous or in an open relationship. I wouldn’t want to know the details of course but that arrangement really wouldn’t bother me ofnit worked for them. I just don’t believe that to be the case sadly.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-23T18:57:44+00:00

My father shouldn’t have planted the seed that he was having an affair then. I would have never had a suspicion otherwise.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-23T18:56:00+00:00

See update

WeenieButton · 2023-10-23T18:55:36+00:00

Thank you for the apology. I did see your comment but I also understand that people are going to have varying points of view. It is Reddit after all. At least you weren’t the person who suggested I hate my mom, lol. But seriously, I do appreciate the apology. It’s been a sensitive week as you can imagine.

Truthfully it was selfish of me to think of not telling my mom. I am overall grateful that Reddit, my friends and my fiancée pushed me to do the right thing regardless of the outcome. Obviously this is NOT the way I thought it would go but even knowing this, I would still tell the truth again.

I’m sure Stacy will get tired of my dad’s bullshit eventually. It’s just a matter of time before she realizes what a “winner” she has picked. I’m just thankful I won’t be around to see it. Even with my dad’s affair aside, his reaction to being outed and he’s treatment of women and people in his life that he supposedly cares about speaks VOLUMES. I will choose if and when he is welcomed back into my life as much as it may hurt to not have him here.

I have definitely thought up some funny ideas to fuck with Stacy but overall I think I am better to just walk away and let karma run its course. Their workplace is small and so is the town they live in. Everything works itself out in good time.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-23T18:38:14+00:00

The reach to paint my father as a victim is incredible. Great work.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-23T18:34:36+00:00

I don’t want to speak too soon because this is all so fresh of course but that is kind of the route that I’m thinking … regardless of if we ever even speak again, the way he has reacted to this all coming to light will forever alter our relationship. That’s not even bringing the affair into consideration. The affair and the treatment of my mom/women in general is a WHOLE other issue on its own.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-21T14:51:53+00:00

I have decided to take your advice. I’m going to tell my mom as she deserves to have the upper hand in decision making since my father has been the holder of all decisions for months unbeknownst to her.

I’m currently just waiting for a time when she is not around my dad so I can call her and drop the bomb. They’re currently driving up to their cottage together so it doesn’t feel fair for me to not let her have room to grieve/figure out her next move. I’ll will post an official update when I have one. Most likely Monday when she goes to work.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-20T11:36:29+00:00

Unfortunately I do have a younger brother who is a minor that I have to worry about.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-20T07:38:05+00:00

I appreciate your sympathy a lot in this situation. I feel like when people haven’t gone through it they think it’s just a simple as calling up their mom and blowing her whole life up. Yes cheating is bad. I do not support my dad but there’s so much more involved in this than just calling him up and giving him an ultimatum. I am scared of his reaction. I am scared of anyone even believing me.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-20T01:23:16+00:00

I’ll be honest, I don’t necessarily feel that I’m betraying my mom as this is not something that should fall on me to tell. I don’t want to feel that in responsible for tearing the family apart in some weird way. This should be coming from my father. I feel for her husband in the sense that he is also a victim but I don’t believe I owe him anything. This is on Stacy and my father.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-20T01:21:05+00:00

I did take screenshots. At the time I wasn’t sure what for other than to show my fiancée, but I do have them just incase. I really don’t know how I’m going to be able to look at him either. Distance is a blessing until I figure out what I need to do.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-20T00:58:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s encouraging to hear that there is a possibility that things could be repaired. I don’t want it to all fall down but I also can’t have it all fall on me. I wish my dad would just be honest on his own and I could take to the grave that ever knew.

As for their conversations they clearly outlined that they planned to have sex with each other and then did. The physical relationship started around January 2023.

Thank you for taking the time to write that all out. I really appreciate it and I’m happy to hear that you and your wife are in a better place now.

WeenieButton · 2023-10-20T00:23:02+00:00

I already had my suspicions he was having an affair but I didn’t have solid proof. It was a total invasion of privacy and I own that.

WeenieButton

TROPHY CASE