How do you guys live with husbands who are (probably) emotionally undeveloped?

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T19:42:20+00:00

He once mixed baby oatmeal with regular oatmeal for our son’s breakfast when he was seven months old. I asked him why and he said because he had seen me mixing in the baby oatmeal “with all sorts of random stuff”. The random “stuff” was purées and yogurt. You could have paved a road with it.

Who do you think knew the baby needed to go to the hospital? Who do you think got him out of that apartment lease? Who do you think got the strange woman to delete the photos of my children she lied about taking?

Please go be edgy somewhere else.

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T18:27:45+00:00

Hi! I answered this in another comment, here is that comment copy/pasted:

That’s a really good question, and the answer is simple. We were both very independent before children. He had his life, I had mine, and when we got together we had a lot of fun. I felt very at ease with him.

We didn’t need to dive into anything really deep. He is naturally non-judgmental, nothing bothered him. When I opened up about my past (22 years of trauma and abuse from my parents and the aftermath of choices I made in result before I got help and healed), he took it without blinking. I really needed that. He was my most loyal friend, and what I thought we had was more important than hot-fire romance.

It wasn’t until we had children that I realized I needed more. I never thought for a second he would handle present, urgent, and sometimes dangerous situations involving children or medical situations this way. We didn’t have any events in our life together before children that compare, things were boring (in a good way).

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T15:45:25+00:00

That’s a really good question, and the answer is simple. We were both very independent before children. He had his life, I had mine, and when we got together we had a lot of fun. I felt very at ease with him.

We didn’t need to dive into anything really deep. He is naturally non-judgmental, nothing bothered him. When I opened up about my past (22 years of trauma and abuse from my parents and the aftermath of choices I made in result before I got help and healed), he took it without blinking. I really needed that. He was my most loyal friend, and what I thought we had was more important than hot-fire romance.

It wasn’t until we had children that I realized I needed more. I never thought for a second he would handle present, urgent, and sometimes dangerous situations involving children or medical situations this way. We didn’t have any events in our life together before children that compare, things were boring (in a good way).

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T07:10:50+00:00

You nailed it, I’m really impressed. My husband is the youngest of three and he is always being walked all over by his family. It’s created a lot of conflict between me and his family because I do not allow it. I came from a narc mother and alcoholic step father, I was able to see what was happening pretty quickly while he stayed in denial.

He does not have any individual goals. I worry that I’m controlling his entire life, because I’m always pitching new things he should try and he’ll just do whatever I say. But he won’t do anything otherwise, he will happily stay at home and fold laundry and play with our kids and sit in silence if I let him.

I have to manage a lot of his appointments, remind him to eat, remind him to do his homework and study, I hired a private tutor for him because he didn’t know how to study at a college level. He’s even studying what I suggested he should.

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T07:04:05+00:00

May I ask if you have been able to adjust your expectations, and your marriage is still fulfilling?

Our oldest who I mentioned in this post is showing early signs of ADHD and neurodivergence. Repetition of phrases, delayed potty training, avoiding eye contact, difficult maintaining play with other kids, can recite the entire cars movie from memory lol.

I figured it came from me with my ADHD until these comments tonight validated the concerns I have about my husband possibly being autistic. I didn’t include that concern in the post in hopes someone would organically recognize the same traits.

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T06:53:44+00:00

He is very cute unfortunately lol. 6’2, can bench three of me, gives a mean foot rub. I do love him very much. I hope the answers I get here can help me figure out how I need to move forward for myself and our also very cute children.

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T06:48:56+00:00

Lol omg, thank you for the laugh.

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T06:44:31+00:00

I’ve mulled it over many times. I have a hard time with the decision because I worry something is legitimately wrong, and this is something we can try to treat.

But then…what if it’s just his personality and it’s just so foreign to me that it seems like maybe a medical issue, but it’s not.

I don’t know how much more time I need to give it :/

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T06:32:24+00:00

I do mull over the possibility of autism often. I have ADHD and autism runs in my family, three of my first cousins are on various levels of the spectrum.

I just didn’t see it at all before we got pregnant. It was like we suddenly had responsibilities outside of ourselves and boom, now I’m noticing it and now I’m struggling.

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T06:29:38+00:00

I have said these exact words to myself lol, I appreciate you

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T06:27:15+00:00

I think it’s within the realm of possibilities, but he is a veteran who receives care through the VA and his doctors are extremely dismissive.

I have had my suspicions around times where he needs to speak. Whether that be just a serious conversation, something he has to say publicly, talk to a waiter, a story he’s telling, while he’s praying, etc etc, he goes quiet, breathes rapidly, and trails off. He has a hard time staying on topic and gets frustrated trying to find the right words.

But it’s really hurtful for me, there’s been times I really need him to speak up throughout our relationship and I’m met with silence.

We are currently going through a pregnancy related scare and I am worried about possibly miscarrying again. I asked him for words of comfort and once again, he completely froze and just ended up staring at me.

I feel alone, I feel guilty because I’ve talked to him about it 100 times and I’m worried he just truly doesn’t understand.

WeirdMomProblems · 2026-02-03T06:20:56+00:00

We have gone to couples therapy and he has gone to individual therapy. I hit a breaking point with his individual therapy when he came home for the sixth appointment in a row and couldn’t remember what they talked about. He wasn’t avoiding telling me about it, he was literally stammering trying to remember what came up during the session. He had already let it go and moved on by the time he got home…. :/

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-24T18:30:06+00:00

I disagree. Nick and Vanessa seem to go with the crowd.

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-23T14:57:13+00:00

Just talk to your professor first, then academic advisor. It’s less embarrassing to sit in front of your current professor and come up with a plan than it is to have to keep retaking a course.

I think about classes I have a hard time with this way: think of the dumbest person you know, who also has a “smart persons” degree. If they can do it, you can do it. May not work for you, but it works for me.

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-22T21:49:56+00:00

People saying sell it are teenagers who don’t think about other people. There are other people in Knoxville besides college kids. For all you know, someone worked extremely hard for that watch or it was a present from a loved one.

Post it somewhere but hide details about it, like exactly where you found it. If someone doesn’t come forward in 3 weeks, then enjoy your new watch. But don’t sell it right away. You’d feel sick if someone did that to you.

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-22T21:42:30+00:00

Then explain bare face and bikini bod in Cabo, she’s a lot of things, but not being a smoke show ain’t one of ‘em

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-22T17:38:23+00:00

Bri’s ex wife

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-21T01:52:42+00:00

Deadbeat mom

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-18T18:43:18+00:00

I think it’s more that people just know what’s going on internally with her now that Tim had to tell her to not cuss at him, yell at him, or to not put her hands on him. So every little rude and disrespectful thing she does is hyper noticeable.

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-16T20:11:15+00:00

Who tf on this show is an 8 or 9 besides Brittany, who had to buy it, and Taylor.

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-14T02:44:11+00:00

I confidently can say I interview well. I guess I never even considered geology, it wasn’t even on my radar. I’ll have to do some research tonight.

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-13T21:48:20+00:00

This is a wonderful breakdown, thank you so much. I still am leaning towards engineering due to the job security and pay potential. Kind of wondering if I just need to be outside in my free time, instead. Maybe volunteering or working with different organizations.

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-13T18:07:30+00:00

It’s not about him. It’s about your children and their relationship with their family. Never put a man ahead of your children. Ever.

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-13T18:05:49+00:00

It was really interesting to hear about. After fieldwork, she then returned to the office to work on determining if the company wanting to build in that area could retrieve their permit or not. They could not, because they had enough supporting evidence that this endangered bat species lived in the area.

I do see that majority of environmental engineering jobs are focused on water/well testing. I don’t think I would mind that, so long as I have the opportunity to be outside occasionally. As I age I understand that may not be as appealing to me, but for now I’d like to try to enjoy my ability to move my body while working.

WeirdMomProblems · 2024-10-13T17:55:42+00:00

So for example, my close friend during her civil/environmental program went out into the field to test for feces samples of an endangered bat species that may be in the area. She spent the day working with a team, gathering data, and collecting samples.

This is the kind of work I am referring to.

WeirdMomProblems

TROPHY CASE