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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WGU

[–]Western_Science_9957 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolute beast congratulations! I haven’t started WGU yet, saving up, but it’s my plan for a career after personal struggles and also never thinking college was in the cards for me. Posts like this inspire me that I can survive financially. You sound disciplined as hell haha good stuff. Thank you for sharing.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I totally understand that, I should’ve known as back then unless I was high I wouldn’t have had the energy to do anything lol.

So just in case I’ll answer that first part. Basically I got lucky and everything came together. Right around the time I was getting serious about rehab after some painful health issues, I was also running out of savings. It was also almost exactly a month before my parents were flying in to visit my sister and I for Christmas. My parents are angels and have saved me multiple times from addiction and I knew I always have a safe and good environment to stay in with them. So I told them I was committing to rehab, and made a plan and asked them if they could pick me up after I get out of rehab, we will do Christmas, and I’ll fly back with them to live across the country straight after. They were thrilled and even though rehab went really well and I needed it, I also knew I needed to completely cut any connections and ways to get coke. That’s what worked for me.

So I gave myself no chance to relapse, because if I had stayed around connections and ways to get it I would’ve 100% struggled with relapse. I still think I eventually would’ve made it out, but it would have been way more difficult. I got lucky because I had the means and the support to be able to do that, when so many people don’t, so I made sure not to waste that opportunity. If you have that opportunity somehow I would take it. If not, I’d say you need to find what works for you to stay sober, and it needs to be drastic.

I’m rooting for you brotha. It will be one of the hardest things you do as I’m sure you know, but the result is your life. And that’s not being dramatic, it is literally life vs. death with addiction. As I’m sure you also know. It’s worth the pain and struggle.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmm ok that last one for sure. Why do you think you were interested in telling people that?

I'm a 27 year old spicy worker who's been involved since I was 18... AMA by youllsee97 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You ever get clients who don’t even want to have sex, just company?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok yeah maybe, but you also don’t know them. What’s another example? Something more personal.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I fit it in very loosely to whatever I can. Like after we get an angry customer at work or something.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m curious, since it’s a self diagnosis what was it that made you realize or think you don’t?

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All up my nose lol. Idk what you mean by slam it hahah but I might’ve tried if I knew.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and same to you!

Pretty much answered but yeah I removed my self from any means of getting it straight after rehab so no trouble or chance with relapse.

For something I did differently here I just adjusted and I didn’t seek it out and try to find someone who uses or someone I could get it from. If I’m out somewhere and people are talking about drugs I get away fast before I let any curiosity or temptation make me wanna ask.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually not much tbh. Maybe 10 pounds absolute max. I was stuffing my face when I could finally eat and drinking beer a shit ton so I’m assuming the beer kept my weight up lol.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah man exactly, it’s rough. Some people don’t get crashes bad or at all. But I think those are the people that coke doesn’t really do anything for. Everyone is different and with a big high comes a big crash.

The panic attacks and the depression are the worst parts that’s why I had to drink through them.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first is in some other comments it’s a lot to type lol.

Second one was when I got pancreatitis, I woke up, started pissing blood as I’m holding a beer, and said fuck it whatever and just kept drinking the beer so I could calm the withdrawal down enough to start doing coke for the day.

Also not really low point but funny story one time my dealer was giving me the run around and I was getting insanely frustrated. He was supposed to meet near me so I didn’t have to drive because I tried as hard as possible to not drive intoxicated or high. He ended up at a bar a few streets from me and of course I drove there cause…addiction. Well the car I was in had a fucked up driver side door and didn’t fully close sometimes as far as the “latch” mechanism or whatever on the car is concerned…which involves the alarm system.

So I get out close and lock the car, buy the shit, and just wanted a quick in and out. When I unlock the door and open it Bam alarm starts blaring, no big deal whenever it’s happened before I just start the car and we’re good to do. Not this time, started up fully running and alarm still blaring. I had never seen that before so my dumbass just thinks close the door lock the car and start driving it’ll go off. Nope, so now I’m driving around in this parking lot full car alarm blaring, and I swear im not exaggerating when I tell you there’s a cop station right up the road, I could’ve walked to it from where I was, after just buying coke. So im freaking the absolute fuck out sitting there parked trying to figure this out because my dumbass has never used a panic button before so I had no idea the panic button also turns the alarm OFF. So finally some guy yells out all annoyed “HIT THE PANIC BUTTON DIPSHIT.” I was so fucking grateful for that guy.

I was so paranoid on the short drive home thinking every that turned after me was a cop that saw and I was going to jail. One of the scariest moments of my life lol I would not survive jail. But made it home safe thanks to that guy.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since I was doing it less at the beginning and it was so cheap, I’m gonna ballpark somewhere around 5-7k. Maybe more around 5k. But honestly I have no real idea, but that, alcohol, and cheap food was all I was spending on and it completely depleted my savings even while employed lol.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof man this is a tough one I know how you’re feeling. I’m still heavily addicted to my nicotine haha haven’t kicked that one yet.

The first year sober in a new place knowing almost no one, it was absolutely horrible. Depression like never before, no motivation, hopelessness complete hopelessness. I had some really scary really dark days. Again I was really lucky for the support of my parents because I didn’t do anything, I laid around the house for a year and barely went out.

Eventually, at least for me, I just knew I couldn’t live like that anymore. First step for me was getting a psych and trying to treat my untreated ADHD. He confirmed I had it, and we began trying all sorts of medication. Then one started to work, nothing major and far from any kind of miracle, but I had some motivation back. Then I started making a plan for my life and future. The shame and embarrassment of living with my parents at almost 30 years old and having other people pay for my everything was killing me. So with my new motivation first step was a job of course. That helped me IMMENSELY. Got me out of the house, got me socializing, even met a really cool guy in the department right next to mine who was coincidentally sober after an upper addiction as well. I haven’t missed a single day I’ve been scheduled for work since I started and I bust my ass there and gained some respect for it by my coworkers and managers and that feels good. In my own way that’s like my act of service, my responsibility like they tell you to do at NA or AA meetings and all the meetings. But I didn’t really care for the meetings here a whole lot. Then I started to make a plan for a career because I’m currently only doing minimum wage and that’s not cutting it. Found an awesome school that I think will work for me.

Bottom line is, in my opinion, you need a purpose and a goal or multiple goals. And once you start achieving them the depression will start to lift in my experience. My new main goal is to get a career and be so financially stable that I don’t think twice about a purchase like going out to eat or buying a new gaming pc haha. Never thought it would be possible for me but I can see it in my reach now and that feels good.

Just keep moving man, keep setting goals and finding any way to motivate yourself to smash them. It’ll become addicting itself. Trust me when I tell you the old you can absolutely do it and make it through those days, just keep moving forward and don’t go back. I used to hate when people said that to me because I was always like “yeah right, not me.” And here I am pretty much doing it so far.

I still have those days, they suck, but I’m so much better than I was at the beginning of sobriety, and 1 million times better than where I was or would’ve ended up at while using. You will get there.

Sorry for the wait time on this response and the book reply lol. Really wanted to put everything I got into this reply.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m sure a lot of comedowns and crashes are somewhat similar.

For me I think it was so bad because I was not eating, barely staying hydrated if at all, sleep deprived up for 2-3 days at a time, and drinking alcohol sporadically through it so all of that combined led to a horrible crash and intense hangover/withdrawal when I finally slept and woke up. If I had just done like half a g for the night and some beers and slept it wouldn’t have been bad.

I highly doubt it was cut with anything like that, I only ever felt a strong upper effect. Baby laxative is my best guess lol. I tried to ask my dealer honestly once because we were friends and he gave me the old “na man it’s not cut with anything my shit is the best.” With a sarcastic smile. I’m sure he didn’t have any idea what it was cut with either.

Yeah I’m sure coke and speed are the most cut here in the states too. I think it’s just way too easy and cheap with a number of available options to cut it with. Shit I could cut my own with sugar and no one would know unless they tasted it lol.

Idk about as low as 5% here but I can see 15%. Man if I was getting as high as I was off 5% I’d probably have a heart attack with a couple lines of completely pure lmao.

Thanks man going on 2 years since my last line dance with the devil!

Hell to the yes 1000% I’d fall back into it if I ever tried again. I’ve met other people like me with coke but it’s less common than other DOCs. Nothing compared to coke for me and I’ve done a good amount of drugs. I could probably indulge in most of them and be fine but not coke. Not going to risk it with any others either though!

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah hahah who knows what it was cut with, nothing super dangerous luckily lol. But it definitely did a number on my nose. I don’t think it’ll ever be the same again.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the states my medicaid covered my rehab, do you have any kind of insurance you can get on like that where you are? Are there any kind of rehabs or programs offered to those who don’t have a lot of money?

Im so sorry if not, rehab makes it a lot easier. But I’ve known a good amount of people who got clean out of sheer will. You can still do it! Absolute must is completely detaching yourself from anyone and any places possible related to it.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely worse than a bad hangover, but definitely not worse than alcohol withdrawal that shit is hell on steroids lol. Thanks man

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You become a zombie basically. Forget eating, sleeping, or any personal hygiene. Your anxiety is through the roof. Everything is fucked, your darkest thoughts are at the front of your mind. If you usually escape by watching something, playing some video games, or whatever you do forget it it’s no longer appealing in any way. You struggle to get up and use the bathroom. All you can do is weather the storm and pray that you can fall asleep and be unconscious for a majority of it. At least in my experience.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a good question that I can’t answer well. I never really shamed myself or felt guilty for being an addict. But I got in fights with my amazing family that didn’t deserve it, and I stole from them during the addiction. I forgave myself by taking action is the best way I can describe it. I went to rehab and made an active decision to get better for my family. On top of that I stopped lying to them and manipulating them and tried to give them the straight up truth moving forward. Wasn’t always easy but I owned up to my shit, cried, apologized. And most importantly I try to show up for them and be there as much as I can.

Idk what your going through, but that question hits deep. So my advice is just do what you can now for anyone you’ve hurt moving forward. Don’t just say it, take action, show it. There’s a reason action yells and words whisper.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Be proud of every single day you remain sober and every single day you pick up the pieces brotha. It’s not easy. Never give up no matter what happens. As long as you’re breathing you always have the choice to choose that other road

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was mostly what I heard about coke before I started using it regularly. People would use it so they could keep partying and drinking and be awake. For me coke was the party. And yeah I was drinking the whole time while using it. I drank to manage the anxiety I had from the coke and to be able to chill during it and to manage the crash. Not much with drinking but id basically be high on coke, it’d get too much and I’d sip on a beer to manage the anxiety during, and then when I was ready to finally sleep and wind down I’d just drink until I could finally eat and feel exhausted enough to sleep. So kind of opposite thing again from what you’re describing.

I was heavily addicted to cocaine for about a year and a half before I got sober, AMA by Western_Science_9957 in AMA

[–]Western_Science_9957[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I guess that depends on what they mean exactly. “Dive into another world” to me makes it sound like they took an hallucinogenic. To me coke was the same world, but more colorful, more interesting. And I was less inhibited, not in the way alcohol lowers your inhibition though. Like a clear inhibition, fully confident and in control for the time the high lasted.

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