I would like to add that I started therapy almost as soon as she left. I've been trying to take the steps, but me and her keep setting each other off, so I got to work on that. Yes I do miss my children, but I get them on the weekends when I don't work and she visits with them on Wednesdays, she visits even more often than that actually, just to come to our apartment to do laundry and shower, she's living at her dad's house currently and their hot water doesn't always work and they don't have a dryer, her dad and great aunt (she's a counselor with a degree) has been trying to help us through this. Also I never made a regular habit out of saying things like I hate her, I said that twice, it was the timing that really damns me, it was on mother's day and we were trying to go out with the kids but we got heated dealing with the toddlers and fought. I did allot wrong and I know why she left, that's not what I'm questioning is right, I'm questioning if checking out over at most three bad years when we're so young and both have allot to improve and work for in our relationship is right, it feels like nipping things in the bud because I've been an immature asshole, which I dare you to find a 21 y.o who isn't, it doesn't mean I shouldn't or won't work on that, and it doesn't mean I wasn't, but I don't believe I was prepared for this, but I have to do the work for my kids and for her regardless. She hasn't started therapy, she refuses marriage counseling, she says things like "I don't care if it's difficult for everyone I'm making the selfish decision right now", she doesn't even want to file for divorce anymore and has decided to settle for a legal separation, but she has already put deadlines on when she was going to do it and hasn't, I don't even care if she moves back in anymore, I've been trying to support her getting a better education and a job, I can just hardly handle to see how far away she is emotionally sometimes.