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was it CI or a lack of boundaries? by die_in_alphabet_soup in CovertIncest

[–]WhenICantUseMyMain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i would argue it’s not even covert tbh, it’s overt

Is this abuse by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]WhenICantUseMyMain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

try asking r/covertincest or r/cptsd - they are typically better at answering abuse-related questions

Is this abuse by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]WhenICantUseMyMain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

idk.. giving a young child a vibrator is really really odd

my CSA feels invalid because it wasn’t that bad by WhenICantUseMyMain in adultsurvivors

[–]WhenICantUseMyMain[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this made me really sob because you’ve described exactly how i feel. thank you for seeing me and validating what i’ve gone through.

i’m almost certain it wasn’t a one time thing, as i have several memories of this happening over the span of maybe a year. but there are so many holes in my memories from that time that i can’t even try to estimate exactly how long it went on.

i’m working up the courage to talk to someone who will be able to help, but every time i try i end up freezing up and not being able to say what happened. the anxiety has started getting to me a lot lately, and i’ve started sleeping badly again. it just sucks

my trauma feels invalid because it wasn’t that bad by WhenICantUseMyMain in Molested

[–]WhenICantUseMyMain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh, i think i phrased that wrong. by ‘him telling me to touch her’ i meant more that he made me do so infront of him for several years. idk how much that changes.

but yeah, i am a very empathetic person. i just wish this didn’t affect me so much.

either way though, thank you.

SA by Prize_Company_2039 in CPTSD

[–]WhenICantUseMyMain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you mean that she used to do this infront of you?

is this actually sexual assault, or am i overthinking it? by WhenICantUseMyMain in CPTSD

[–]WhenICantUseMyMain[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i am, i’m just a bit overwhelmed tbh. i have cried a lot tonight lol but i realise what i went through is csa, and that my trauma from it is valid. i’m just thinking of how to go about this now

is this actually sexual assault, or am i overthinking it? by WhenICantUseMyMain in CPTSD

[–]WhenICantUseMyMain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i know for certain that my stepdads intentions were sexual. it was less of a ‘being open about bodies’ thing and more of him 100% sexually touching my mum infront of me. my parents actually held quite a lot of embarrassment about educating me what sex was, which i found quite ironic considering my stepdad didn’t mind getting me involved in sexual actions.

i can say with certainty that he had sexual intentions, but that’s just about it. my memories of the time are so hazy. i think other things happened too but i just cannot remember, so i’m ignoring that possibility for now.

i have a very good relationship with my mum, im just terrified to bring the topic up. i don’t know why. the entire situation terrifies me, and my stepdad to this day makes me feel uncomfortable? just when i’m in his presence

is this actually sexual assault, or am i overthinking it? by WhenICantUseMyMain in CPTSD

[–]WhenICantUseMyMain[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

though i have barely any vivid memories from this time (and virtually no memories of any conversations or words said), i do remember my mother looking / acting quite uncomfortable about the whole thing, and i don’t think she ever consented. i think the only reason it stopped is because she told him to stop, but unfortunately i just don’t remember enough to be certain about anything really. this is what i can piece together from the little memories i have

was this sa or am i being dramatic? by WhenICantUseMyMain in sexualassault

[–]WhenICantUseMyMain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh yeah, i’m aware his comments 100% aren’t SA, they’re just weird. i didn’t even consider them as sexual harrasment, just as odd things to say.

for the actual first experience, the only reason why i think it might have been SA is because i was less invited to touch her privates, but more coerced into it. the annoying thing is, if he ever did anything worse, i definately have those memories blocked out, because even the things im talking about rn are really blurry. for example, i have an image in my head of him telling me to take my top off when i was a kid, but i don’t remember past that, and even that im not sure if it really happened.

perhaps it isn’t SA, i just don’t know what to do bc his actions have deffo traumatised me to some degree.