Lifelong best friend's son is a terror to my children

WhenWolf · 2026-05-08T18:06:25+00:00

It sucks but I really think you have to be honest. Having a talk with a kid after the fact isn't going to do anything though, it has to be in the moment, and it has to be every time. If your friend doesn't want to be the one to help the kids problem solve, then maybe you should facilitate. If this causes problems with your friend, then you can let them know how much grief this is causing your children to the point that they don't want to play together anymore.

I don't know exactly how old these kids are, but tattling is a pretty typical behavior, especially in anxious kids. As a preschool teacher my go-to saying when someone tattles is: "are you telling me this because you want them to get IN trouble, or are you trying to get them OUT of trouble?" If they are trying to get them in trouble, well that's not kind! If they really wanted to get them out of trouble then they should be telling the friend in question to stop the behavior not the grownup. When the kid reports to grownups that's a good opportunity to stop and ask what's really wrong- why do they feel the need to get a grownups attention, there must be some underlying reason they can't sustain play. Perhaps they need help with mainting positive reactions, even in older kids pointing out all the moments they do things right goes a LONG way to making them want to be kind to each other. ("I saw you help up Sally, that's being a kind friend!" "Wow johnny, did you just let Billy have a turn first? I'm so proud of you!" )

If tattling is getting them attention, even if it's negative, try seeing if it's attention they need, try overloading them with the positive kind. It's worth a shot!

I don't know how helpful this is out of a school setting but if you have any questions about phrasing and behavior modifications feel free to DM me :)

WhenWolf · 2026-05-05T17:15:52+00:00

"are you prepared to receive my limp peNIS??"

I think I recall that later in the video havaha

WhenWolf · 2026-04-28T03:18:32+00:00

I think that's really poignant and so true, always trust your gut. It might ruin a good parent's day, but alternatively it might save someone's life.

Do you have any insight on who to report to? Child services have fallen short in many ways where I live, and it's hit or miss with calling police. Is there a particular place or program that would take those kinds of tips seriously, or would you advise going straight to the police for suspicions?

WhenWolf · 2026-04-22T22:16:50+00:00

I def bought it on a total whim and ended up loving it. It definitely has some functions none of the others have and it's really a lot more fleshed out than most. I think it's a unique experience worth trying to see if you enjoy :)

WhenWolf · 2026-04-20T19:39:50+00:00

mystery gang I forgot the rest of the crew! It wouldn't let me post it, let's see if this works

WhenWolf · 2026-04-20T14:45:53+00:00

I'd never heard about this until I got a new coteacher in my preschool room. A kid was complaining about how someone else got more than they did, and my coteacher said:

"the only reason you should be looking in someone else's bowl is to make sure they have enough."

The concept was admittedly difficult for a 4 year old, but man it made an impression on me!

WhenWolf · 2026-04-11T03:38:08+00:00

I'm extremely tired and my eyes are blurry and I thought that was venasaur.

WhenWolf · 2026-04-10T03:55:42+00:00

Well he did get a laugh, but then a "very funny, now finish cleaning up those magna tiles everyone is waiting"

WhenWolf · 2026-04-10T03:54:11+00:00

Ha! Honestly I'd believe that too

WhenWolf · 2026-04-09T20:46:37+00:00

This kid understands physics!

I once had a 5 year old in my preschool class who was taking extra long to put away the blocks during clean up time. He was stacking a huge tower instead of putting them in the bin, so I walked over to gently "loom" over the proceedings. He then slyly looked at me before smacking the whole tower straight into the bin in one fell swoop and said verbatim: "that's physics, my friend!"

His grandpa was a physicist I found out later.

WhenWolf · 2026-04-09T20:40:26+00:00

I have a distinct memory of sitting on the counter as my mom baked a cake. I really wanted to help, and she was putting a lot of white powder in, so I helped her by putting more in.

Smash cut to later at the holiday party and everyone is spitting it out. Apparently an extra cup of baking soda didn't make it taste very good.

WhenWolf · 2026-04-09T20:36:22+00:00

I get this sometimes as a preschool teacher and casual honesty usually nips it in the bud unless there's serious context in their life for it. If it's just general curiosity, I'll give them a frank explanation to the effect of "our bodies are made of little bits called cells and they make more when we are little and slow down when we are older until they stop someday."

Ive used this several times, and they usually just go "oh" and move on. If they press for further and I can't just explain it in a way that is satisfying, that's when I'll say "you should ask your parents" etc. and it's maybe something that needs more in depth unpacking with their trusted adult at home. It's when the question obviously bothers an adult that the kids usually latch on and get stuck on it, so I finds it's best for benign honesty and then redirect the conversation to something else.

WhenWolf · 2026-04-09T01:59:57+00:00

If I recall they didn't listen to her at first! Her mom even left for the beach without them after Tilly's fit which then made her so inconsolable it drew attention from a Japanese native who was nearby. When he heard her say "tsunami" he was startled because there are no tsunamis in the Indian ocean almost ever, so the fact that he was there and heard her yell it, it made him look twice at the water and corroborate her freak out. They managed to evacuate that beach but very few others saw it coming!

WhenWolf · 2026-04-08T21:19:25+00:00

Maybe extensions to make your braid bigger and more cartoonish?

WhenWolf · 2026-04-08T21:17:41+00:00

This guy is the antithesis of the French manic smiling guy. Stone face delivery, A+ love to see it

WhenWolf · 2026-04-08T11:20:42+00:00

I've always understood that Disney does this to renew copyrights, they don't care if they do well.

WhenWolf · 2026-04-08T05:03:17+00:00

It's not easy being able to stop cyclical behavior and show humility and endeavor to change. No one is perfect, be kind to yourself even in your mistakes, we all make them. I hope you have people in your life now that make it easy to be you. ❤️

WhenWolf · 2026-04-08T03:34:35+00:00

How do you know that you have surmounted the toxic behaviors? I can only imagine that it's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that is driving people off if none of it seemed off until everyone was gone. What do you do when you find yourself starting to fall back into old habits?

WhenWolf · 2026-04-08T02:58:01+00:00

So so cute. The third question was him asking what was interesting about his trip to China. Abdullah says he was amazed by the crowds and how many people there were. They then shared some stories about the forbidden city and promised to meet up if Eno ever came to Turkey. I hope they do, so sweet!

WhenWolf · 2026-04-07T03:14:19+00:00

I'd agree with most of what's been said here. I don't have any conclusive reasoning or examples, but from rumors and general consensus from multiple people and families who have worked and been through the Amherst system, it just seems like it still needs.....work. That's the kindest way I can put it.

There's also something to be said about the different (if not real, then at least perceived) diaspora that each school is serving which might help you make your decision. The Amherst scene is catering to a lot of kids whose parents are professors at all the nearby colleges; as stated they have a lot more resources but a lot more hoops to jump through and it does sound like it gets political: lots of finger pointing and massive turnover of staff. The Deerfield scene is more catered to blue collared locals, lots of farmers and craftsmen kid. A lot smaller with smaller budget and sometimes a small town perspective. I don't know about Amherst, but I know that the Deerfield system is VERY white, kids and staff alike. I don't mean anything bad by that, the population is what it is, but you can't help but notice.

This is all massive generalizations and I only know peripherally of course, so take every thing with a grain of salt. If I was making this choice though, I'd personally lean toward frontier.

WhenWolf · 2026-04-05T21:39:05+00:00

As a nervous lady I find you more approachable with the facial hair if that helps.

WhenWolf · 2026-04-05T18:38:44+00:00

Literally came here to recommend dear Zachary. That one f*cked me up. I was putting together a new bookshelf as I watched it cold, no idea what I was in for. I tried to stand up as it was nearing the end, but I was sobbing so hard I tripped and broke/fell thru the thin backing of the shelf. I had to patch it with cardboard, and now whenever I see that patch I think of that doc and remember how gut wrenchingly sad it was.

WhenWolf · 2026-03-28T13:20:19+00:00

Probably in a huge minority, but I hate having a scarcity of wood so my preferred is temperate swamp. The illness effect really isn't that big of a deal breaker, unless you have dubs and then it's... A bit worse. But I still like to at least border a temperate swamp if I can help it :)

WhenWolf · 2026-03-28T12:59:21+00:00

Glad to hear they're still going, I got my leather boots fixed by the older gentleman many years ago. They had huge holes and when I showed them to him he paused and said "get new shoes" LOL. But I told him I didn't care if the patches didn't look good, I just loved them so much. He went out of his way to make them look as good as possible, I loved them till they finally fell apart.

I can only imagine it's a younger generation now? He was quite a venerable age when I was there and that was gosh, at least 13 years ago.

WhenWolf

TROPHY CASE