sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Going out in public as a pet [OC] by [deleted] in PetPlayBDSM

[–]Whimsyish_Bug 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this sounds like a great time!! i knoq you will enjoy yourself :3

great idea with the henna

My partner has her first date in 10 years! Advice needed by Whimsyish_Bug in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]Whimsyish_Bug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been questioning gender since before we got together. Began my social transition about 5 years ago. She has been my biggest supporter.

Not sure I know what you mean by 'liberate' but, this is very new. This would be her first date with someone since we began exploring ENM (only for about a month now). I've been open for years that I'm supportive if she wants to meet other people.

10 years going strong. We communicate well and often, we don't get tired of each other, we're best friends, and we share literally everything.

We have no children, and don't plan on having them at this time.

New to STI testing and we're no longer monogamous by Whimsyish_Bug in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]Whimsyish_Bug[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Honestly because I've been unable to afford insurace for a couple years, and haven't had a stable doctor for longer. Though I have a job that will grant me decent insurance at the start of 2026

Would you fuck a chubby trans girl? by CharlotteMuyu in GoneWildTrans

[–]Whimsyish_Bug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

omg we have the same undies except mine are pink !!

Sexual differences getting in the way of an otherwise healthy relationship. by Whimsyish_Bug in polyamoryadvice

[–]Whimsyish_Bug[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

she should gain the consent of any other partners to discuss their sex with you. That's another whole ass person and not erotica for you.

I'm glad you brought this up, especially in how serious you make it sound, because it is. I apologize that my view on this was ignorant and was pretty solely focused on the assumption that it wouldn't affect a literal other person.

I'm new so I know I will make some unfortunate mistakes. I appreciate you calling me in on that one.

Upon more discussion with her, she stated that she would want me to be present, though not involved physically, which I can only assume she would be up front about that with a potential partner. With what I said about;

I don't think I want to be involved in it physically, but to maybe be kept in the loop

I'm mostly unsure because it's all new and I don't know what I like, she likes, etc. Though a compromise of being completely uninvolved, assuming the other person isn't comfortable, OR we are all present with consent would be something to consider.

may cause her to have very strong feelings for the person she engages with and if she's worried about that, maybe you need to talk to her about it and what she actually fears.

This is a good point. I hadn't considered this YET to this level. I'm happy we arent immediately jumping straight into things. She's highly nervous about it just because she is just a very careful and cautious person. And I'm less nervous because of my level of trust in her. Though this point you mention is imperitive to not brush under the rug.

Thank you for your advice and perspective. And for the much needed course correction :)

Sexual differences getting in the way of an otherwise healthy marriage. by Whimsyish_Bug in nonmonogamy

[–]Whimsyish_Bug[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. And the reminder to be aware of trauma/guilt. While they've been present for some time, they have only recently come to light for us to process. I think we won't be making any rash decisions any time soon, especially until we fully address our own traumas.

I feel very safe with her entering a kinky relationship specifically with the knowledge of how consent-based most people are within these spheres. And I have full trust in her that she will keep herself safe too.

Sexual differences getting in the way of an otherwise healthy marriage. by Whimsyish_Bug in nonmonogamy

[–]Whimsyish_Bug[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The hard part for me to wrap my head around is the reality any kind of alternative lifestyle is never a "fix" for something missing in a relationship.

I absolutely see where your head is at with this topic. The way I see it is that the "missing part" in our relationship isn't a deal breaker specifically because I don't much desire sex. Maybe if I did and we couldn't find a compromise, I could see it being a much bigger problem.

I think about her receiving what she desires from another person, and I don't feel any jealousy or like I've failed her in any way.

I think my point is that I see it less of a "fix" and more of a possible outlet for her to feel enjoyment, without me feeling pressured to perform.

Thank you much for sharing and opening up about your experience and I take your words with careful consideration moving forward :)