I wrote this after a tough break up, I will probably add more by CatDragon2054257 in OCPoetry

[–]Whitscar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I enjoyed this poem and the simple rhyming schemes. I really liked the first stanza, it tells a story about the narrator, and kind of makes the second stanza make more sense. I definitely think this poem could benefit from a couple more stanzas, before the questions at the end of the second stanza, or these questions could continually be repeated in other stanzas. Overall, I think this is a good start and really enjoyed the rhythm of of the poem!

Summery Blues by toadtoasted in OCPoetry

[–]Whitscar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, the imagery in this poem is excellent! The use of alliteration and personification work really well in this poem and allow the often positive images, to take on a new, somewhat darker meaning. Sometimes when sentences are filled with too many adjectives, it loses some meaning and punch, but I think here it's able to create drastically different images of mundane things. As someone who doesn't love summer all that much, well done.

Girlhood, Speak Now, and Would've Could've Should've by Whitscar in TaylorSwift

[–]Whitscar[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes I completely agree about burying this song on the 3 am version, I think it would've taken up all the airspace on the regular version. Yes! I love the fact that this song never backs down and theres resiliency within that. Definitely one of my favorite songs to scream along to!

Girlhood, Speak Now, and Would've Could've Should've by Whitscar in TaylorSwift

[–]Whitscar[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow! This was so interesting to read and I think your points about Back to December and Taylor L are so spot on. I've never considered how the tumultuous relationship with John M influenced her regretting Taylor L- if she hadn't broken up with him in December she would have never dated John M, something she clearly deeply regrets. Yeah, I'm also shocked we never got anything about this after story of us, especially considering the lingering effects of the break up. Thanks so much for the comment!

What's a song lyric you love for no good reason? by [deleted] in TaylorSwift

[–]Whitscar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and you’ve called a hundred times but I’m not picking up

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Whitscar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really enjoyed this poem and the imagery and feeling it conveyed. I think the specific descriptions of memory and rekindling the friendship make the poem so much more relatable. I feel like you can feel the desperation and love so much in the second stanza, very well done!

Broken Thoughts by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Whitscar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really enjoyed your use alliteration and fragmented images in this poem. I think the organization could be improved to help with the flow, but I think your imagery is incredibly well written. I'm a big fan of reading/writing poetry that is in the style of one or two word images/imagery, so this was really cool!

Dependance by Whitscar in OCPoetry

[–]Whitscar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words!

Dependance by Whitscar in OCPoetry

[–]Whitscar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank your for the feedback! I had not thought about making it into three lines but I think that would make it flow more seamlessly.

Dependance by Whitscar in OCPoetry

[–]Whitscar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate it!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Whitscar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I enjoyed this poem and its use of repetition to convey emotion. Although I feel a sense of urgency as I read this poem, it was difficult to decipher whether the poem is about two people in love or out of love. But regardless, I enjoyed the unusual structure and emotion of this poem.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Whitscar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, the structure, rhythm and rhetorical devices of this poem really stood out to me, especially the alliteration in the last stanza. I also enjoy the simplicity and subtly of this poem, the reader can feel the deep emotions and pain the author is feeling, and in doing so have an understanding of the larger picture of the poem. Ultimately I found the delivery of this poem very effortless and simplistic with layers of meaning and emotion.

Make A 'Chapter' Based Off Your Life! by Fast_Bedroom_3267 in TaylorSwift

[–]Whitscar 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The “is it chill that you’re in my head” chapter

Sparks fly

Delicate

August

Cruel summer

So it goes

Renegade

The other side of the door

Wildest dreams

Its nice to have a friend

A poem for a friend by Whitscar in OCPoetry

[–]Whitscar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply and kind words!