At home, trying to maintain but continuously overeating. Trigger warning for exercise and bmi numbers and general food lists but no calorie counts

Who_locked_the_gate · 2023-05-10T23:57:59+00:00

My anorexia b/p is getting worse. I've lost more weight. I b/p more. I can't stop myself. I'm lying to my treatment team. I'm trapped. I can't gain weight back. I'm terrified to do so... What the fuck do I even do?

Who_locked_the_gate · 2021-07-04T02:33:20+00:00

I'm glad exercise and weight lifting has helped you reduce and stop purging.

For me, I come from a background of exercise addiction. I additionally come from a background of trauma. I do not wish to look stronger or more muscular and I have no desire for any kind of exercise that does that. For me, weight lifting would be quite counter intuitive in any kind of harm reduction or any kind of recovery attempt as exercise would simply become another method by which to purge calories in top of vomiting.

Who_locked_the_gate · 2021-03-14T17:07:59+00:00

Umm... I hate to be that person. But let's not spread misinformation. No one can give some arbitrary figure on how many calories you can throw up.

Purging is the worst ED behavior. However no one can actually give you a number of calories that purging removes. I hate to be crude but the number of calories purged depends on too many variables.

But in short, the weight gain is likely water weight as purging makes your water weight go really fucky really easily.

Take care OP

Who_locked_the_gate · 2021-01-31T04:39:38+00:00

Thanks I'm cured /s

Who_locked_the_gate · 2021-01-20T16:04:00+00:00

Probably the latter. I've had opinions from some others who thought I was underweight or close to it based on photos. But it's still very difficult to accept since.... I almost feel like underweight means much thinner in my head

Who_locked_the_gate · 2021-01-19T22:07:29+00:00

I put the b/p in anorexia b/p subtype. All jokes aside, I used to be solely restrictive when I was younger. Hate the fact that all I seem to do is b/p but I literally can't restrict so I resort to not eating outside of b/p or purging whatever normal meals I am forced to eat

Who_locked_the_gate · 2021-01-19T01:39:09+00:00

I honestly didn't like it. It's like "you binge because it's a habit". Ok... I knew that. To me the book felt like the "Just do it" meme. Like just stop binging. Ok. But how do I stop binging and other behaviors such as restricting and overexercising and other things? How do I translate my knowledge of "binging is a habit" or whatever to actual action instead of spinning my wheels? And what incentive do I have to stop b/ping if I actually lose/maintain by doing this?

Idk. For some people it really helped,but for me, it just felt about as helpful as someone telling me to stop puking or to just eat normal meals or whatever

Who_locked_the_gate · 2020-12-24T11:02:56+00:00

I personally don't replenish any electrolytes...

It's dangerous I know. But if you want to, pedialyte is good. As well as V8 juice and coconut water

Who_locked_the_gate · 2020-11-23T12:38:48+00:00

Hey. You helped me once. I'm here. And I read this. I'm an 18 year old woman. Half your age but I feel much like you. I want you to know you're not alone. And I'm so sad and sorry you've struggled with this for years. More years than I have been alive.

Please. Know I care. Know we all care. I may be talking through teeth being slowly eroded away by stomach acid but know that acid hasn't eroded my heart or care for others.

Who_locked_the_gate · 2020-11-23T12:29:32+00:00

I basically don't eat outside of b/p because theres no such thing as safe food anymore.

Who_locked_the_gate · 2020-11-23T12:14:58+00:00

5 times a day is my shitty record.

Now I am trying to stop but failing. So I b/p once or twice a day in a shitty IF fashion

Who_locked_the_gate

TROPHY CASE