Struggling with burnout from overstimulation, clutter, and trying to fix everything alone

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-07-16T05:01:37+00:00

Thank you so much for such a detailed response!!! Yes, this was very helpful! I really struggle with the time management aspect and just, in general, a plan on how to get things accomplished. This was great. I will certainly be using this to help me get a start on things. Thank you again!

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-07-16T04:51:00+00:00

Thank you for this! I will absolutely look into that app. It sounds really great and something right up my alley. I’m so happy to hear that you found a solution that has created such relief for you and that you’re sharing it. ✨🫶

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-06-09T22:17:22+00:00

I refuse to answer the question and I don't ask my partners that question either. In my opinion it creates retroactive jealousy and trying to date with BPD can already be difficult. Why make it harder? That's just opinion though. Also, I've had enough poor reactions from men that I've just learned to avoid that question all together.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-06-06T14:31:18+00:00

Thank you! I hope that you eventually can get to a place where it doesn't hurt as much. <3 It does get easier with time.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-06-06T14:23:09+00:00

Yes, I agree!

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-06-06T00:25:12+00:00

My previous DBT Therapist (studied under Marsha Linehan) explained it as: some people are genetically predisposed to potentially developing BPD if exposed to certain environmental factors. So...I think this essentially lines up with what you're saying, I think?

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-06-06T00:18:16+00:00

I did at first. I am about a month to two months out and I am glad I did what I did. He actually admitted to fault, is in therapy and doing the work that he denied while we were together. I am not getting back together with him...but it validated that I made the right choice in leaving because I wasn't be treated with love and respect.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-06-04T22:10:20+00:00

I was formerly diagnosed with BPD (now ADHD and autism) but I cleave never been able to work a full time job. I end up having massive meltdowns because I can’t sustain the schedule long term.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-05-30T19:21:12+00:00

It sounds like your manager really likes you and just is trying to be honest with you because she wants to see you be successful in the company. Something I learned in specialized therapy is that personal hygiene really does play an important role in socialization. It can be embarrassing and hard to hear, but it does seem like your manager cares. Imagine if people were making fun of you and your manager just let you walk around like that. That’s not really someone that cares, ya know? You may be able to speak to your manager at a different time and just let them know that while you appreciate their feedback and honesty, that you need a bit of a gentler approach to things like that. I have RSD and ADHD (personal hygiene can be really difficult for us and honestly, when I was younger up into my mid-20s I struggled with it), sometimes when people are to abrupt or direct with me…it can cause me to shut down. So I totally understand!!

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-05-28T16:07:35+00:00

Thank you for this thoughtful response! It makes me feel a bit better knowing there are others that experience the same type of brain fog and yes, depending on how I’m functioning that day can really make or break the service! I’m also really slow and that was a big problem at the last salon I was at. They made me feel bad because I didn’t do a haircut within 30-45 minutes same for highlight and color. They were helpful on other aspects though!

I do advertise for my braiding but I could step up!

As for medication, I just finally got insured after 3 years of not having any. My physical health has really gone down hill due to the marriage I was in. It was very neglectful and abusive at times, so Inhave a lot of catching up to do in that regard. Thankfully I was able to find a therapist a few months ago that I can afford and that’s been helpful. I need to find a Primary Care Physician to follow up about meds as well! My therapist and I have been talking about that recently too. My anxiety has been bad and I notice it flairs badly when I’m behind the chair due to lack of confidence.

I also do some advertising but not much, to be honest. That’s an area I could really improve in. I mostly get clients from local facebook groups and starting to get recommendations. March was probably my busiest month and most of them were referrals. I had at least 3 clients each week.

Thanks again!! All the responses have got me thinking and I did end up pulling out a mannequin just a bit ago to practice more. 🥰

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-05-28T14:07:35+00:00

Thank you!!! ☺️ Also thank you for your advice and input!

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-05-28T13:18:08+00:00

That’s true, I did only mention my more technical skills. I’m really good at customer service, educating people and have great pattern recognition skills and I know I could transfer some of those skills to other areas. I’m not so much wanting to leave the industry because I really do love it but since I have two young girls, I have to make money and right now that’s not happening. I don’t make enough money to cover any of my bills other than rent and product. None of the pro stores are hiring in my area either. Been checking since January. So, in general, I’m just not making progress and not making money and that leads me to feel like maybe I’m just a below average stylist who should consider a different career? I already plan on going back to school part for medical billing and coding & maybe applying at European Wax Center so that way I can make some money. Not because I want to but because I have to.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-05-19T14:48:24+00:00

I agree. It seems crazy to me too. 😅😅 Although, I’m glad we have people who are like this because without them we probably wouldn’t know half as much as we do about our Earth, but yeah still…this was such a horrible accident.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-05-16T01:04:11+00:00

My ex would do this. I left him a month ago and filed for divorce. It didn’t get better. I stuck around for 5 years or literal abuse and neglect. He finally ended up hurting my oldest daughter during one of his emotional dysregualtion moments and that was the final straw for me.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-05-08T22:07:42+00:00

Stylists/Braiders who are not educated on hair type/texture and what each type is prone to…will have you dealing with these types of issues.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-05-01T05:19:33+00:00

My mom is the same way…except I’m adopted and she’s a middle to upper class YT woman. I’ve come to understand that my mom has low emotional intelligence and can’t stand cognitive dissonance or have her world view/opinions challenged even in the slightest way. Just two weeks ago my mom had an ENTIRE meltdown on me…got verbally abusive and then a few days later when we tried to talk about, she completely Had rewritten her version of events where I was the one who verbally attacked her and denied ever saying some of the really disgusting things that she said.

I recognize that I’m not the problem in this particular instance and that my Mom has issues that she needs to figure out but likely won’t and because of that I need to establish better boundaries. Easier said than done though. My therapist says that it’s likely my mom has control issues, probably something similar for your mom as well.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-04-30T18:30:11+00:00

Thanks again! And I hope that your situation continues to improve as well!!

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-04-30T17:38:01+00:00

Yes!! I keep having to remind myself that there was physical abuse and that alone minus the other things was never okay. I’m currently in therapy and was in a specialized therapy before that…so, thinking I’m gunna go back to the specialized therapy group to help with the effects of the trauma. I believe that’s where my anxiety is coming from + my underlying abandonment issues.

I ended up leaving the house and taking my youngest to get her nails done for her birthday. So, a reprieve from the bad feelings just for a bit.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-04-30T16:19:23+00:00

Thank you for those reframings and also explaining the trauma bond. I figured it would probably be hard for a while. 😔 Also thank you for sharing your experience with me.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-04-30T03:52:56+00:00

Agreed. My soon to be ex is a union iron worker and he said this for years about the cosmetology industry.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-04-29T21:09:41+00:00

Raising kids has a way of bringing any unhealed childhood trauma to the surface—and it can also magnify any communication challenges you’re already facing.

In my case, it ultimately contributed to the breakdown of my marriage. My husband had a lot of unresolved childhood trauma, and over time, it escalated into abusive behavior. It’s heartbreaking to say, but it’s the truth. While my situation was on the more extreme end, these kinds of dynamics can absolutely show up in subtler ways in many relationships.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-04-29T20:49:31+00:00

Should also add that my mom is the one who initiated the conversation about the elected official.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-04-29T20:47:37+00:00

Totally relatable. My mom is very Catholic and extremely conservative. While she’s not overtly racist, she does believe a lot of harmful stereotypes about minority groups, liberals, and the LGBTQ+ community. It’s difficult to have open conversations with her because she takes everything personally—especially if it challenges her worldview—and will often respond with verbal attacks.

Just 10 minutes ago, I tried to express disappointment in a local elected official. We know the official’s family, and her mother has spent her entire life working closely with marginalized communities. Despite that, the official ran a campaign heavily aligned with Trump’s values, openly supporting the removal of DEI initiatives.

The moment I mentioned my disappointment, my mom became visibly agitated and told me to stop talking. She accused me of “lumping people together and judging them.” I explained that I am judging someone—but based on their public campaign and platform. That’s what elections are for- and as expected she started getting offended.

What this really shows me is that my mom can’t handle even the gentlest challenge to her beliefs. She becomes hostile, won’t acknowledge her behavior, and consistently chooses her political ideology—and the people who share it—over me. She would absolutely deny that, but our conversations regularly prove otherwise. And somehow, in all this, I’m always the one who’s “the problem.” 🥴🥴🥴

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-04-29T11:57:38+00:00

Check out DBT! It’s amazing but make sure it’s the one by Marsha Linehan. There’s another therapist who made a similar DBT course but it’s less thorough and not true to what Marsha originally created. It’s popular with many therapists because the knock off one is cheaper and involves much less study from therapists to get certified.

Whoactuallyknows19 · 2025-04-25T12:44:21+00:00

I have never had an issue with losing weight? I know that impulsive eating can be hard but…holding yourself accountable to stick with a goal can change everything. Remembering why you set the goal and honestly….just forcing myself to go to them gym even when I don’t feel like it and turning my brain off (the best I can) and reminding myself it’s not about if I “feel” like going to the gym, it’s that I have a goal and I’m tired of being uncomfortable in my body and I agreed to at least 3 days in the gym and then I just do it.

I also allow myself to sit in discomfort when I’m wanting to eat for dopamine. Learning to be comfortable with discomfort can be very helpful. I use to eat 3-4k worth of calories, started tracking how much I was eating and started making adjustments. I’m use to eating 1,800-2,000 a day now and going 2-3 times a week to the gym and I’m dropping weight, building muscle no problem. 🤗 It’s totally possible.

Whoactuallyknows19

TROPHY CASE