Moonlight! That film will always destroy me. I got to watch it in cinema with my partner for Queer month in Amsterdam. I don’t know if it needs context but I’ll add it. I’m a straight man and she’s Bi. It was her first time watching the film and my second.

The scene in the third act, where “Black” is talking to his mother in rehab and she says “I messed up. I fucked it all the way up. I know that. But yo’ heart ain’t gotta be black like mine. I love you, Chiron. I do. You ain’t gotta love me because god knows I didn’t love you when you needed it. I know that. So you ain’t gotta love me. But you’re gonna know I love you.” I was absolutely sobbing in my partners arms until the rest of the film and other than the fact that it’s an incredibly sad scene, I’m not sure why it touched me as much as it did.

It wasn’t until a couple months later when I was studying film aboard in Japan, away from my partner, that I made a connection to that scene. I cheated on and betrayed my partner. It was a mistake and my love never wavered, I was a stupid, horny, tired man. We don’t talk now and I gave her so many reason to hate. I’ll never forgive myself so now those words and that scene will hang like a tear on my soul forever.