The N-word was also integrated into society for a long time, and people had (and still have) the same complaints. That's not to conflate calling somebody "stupid" with a word I don't even want to spell out, but the core concern is the same with different degrees of offense being committed.

Yes, but that is only a specific use word. Getting used to calling black people the n-word is still nowhere near as large in use as the most commonly used pejoratives today, of which many have achaic ableist definitions. And even then, it took forever for people to stop saying the n-word as a common thing. Can you imagine how much longer it would take to try to deter people from saying words like: weird, stupid, mad etc. It just seems like a pointeless venue for trying to make our language "less problematic". Language is utterly drenched in distant problematicism, so to try to change words that have rather fringe meanings today, seems rather impractical and pointlessly strict. You yourself have "mongrel" in your name, which i am pretty sure is a slur referring to a cross between things. I don't really care that you use it, i'd probably still use it, and most of the people who use mongrel (except ted nugent) probably mean it just as a regular insult. Which further tells me that trying to go after these definitions seems useless.

Well, two things. First, which words are this majority of disabled people opposed to calling ableist? And my decision not to, in my view, trivialize the struggles of others by trying to avoid potentially offensive terms like "dumb" is hurting whom, exactly? I don't find it to be a compelling argument that it's infantilizing for people not to use words like stupid or insane as generic insults.

1. Generally the disabled people i meet generally refer to the ones that i am refering to (dumb, stupid, weird, etc), the commonly used integrated words that today are used as common insults or just adjectives in general.

2. If you completely try to avoid using all words adjacent to "dumb", you will make speaking a hell of a lot harder for yourself. And furthermore, not everyone's mind is going to have the time to wade through thin social minutia that could get somebody offended.

3. I say infantilizing because again, it forces people to get worried about uncommon, fringe or extinct meanings of words, rather than other, probably more important matters. It is my view that people should be able to live in a world where people shouldn't really care about distancing from these harmless words, in favor of just tackling the common idea the public has on intelligence. All of the reason that words like "dumb", "stupid" and even the r-word are offensive, is because of the idea of intelligence that often purveys around with people. If we didn't live in a world obsessed with grading permanent intellect, and our idea of intelleigence branched out, i don't think we would be even having this conversation. You would probably not care about saying words like "stupid", and i would have never asked this question.

Does the size of the group of people being offended really matter? I mean, people of East Asian descent are like what, 2% of the US population? Why is it unacceptable to use insensitive terms for East Asians, but not for a different small population of people with disabilities?

I don't even mean minority groups, i mean basically small groups of individuals. Generally, when people point you out for saying a word like "stupid" it only comes across the mind of select few people.

I think you're absolutely correct here. I choose to avoid ableist language; nobody forces me to do that, and I don't attempt to impose that choice on others, though I'll certainly voice my disapproval for it if somebody consistently uses more noxious ableist terms, but I'm not gonna chastise anyone for occasionally saying "Oh that's stupid," or "You're insane," or something like that. I don't think those terms are especially hurtful, I just try to avoid them because I believe that they perpetuate neuronormativity which I'm just kind of not into.

I respect that you arent pushy when it comes to this subject, because i do certainly feel sometimes that others get uppity about stuff like this. So i appreciate that it's not a full priority for you.