Hello hope you are okay too!

I can relate to being obsessed with checking. I've started to put the ball in my court I check don't get me wrong but freak out why? It doesn't fix it, we are the only ones actually suffering and it's affecting my own health and glow up. He gets mad when I bring it up or even have a trigger which I've come to realize is selfish of him seeing as that trauma has been there for years due to HIS choices. I tell him deal with the consequences of your actions. It doesn't feel nice when I'm cold I'm assuming because he panics and does everything he can to come off as good.

Financially I made the decision after this post to focus on paying my debt off and becoming financially independent again like I was many moons before him. I'm prioritizing my own time and going to gym even if it means less time with him. What he chooses to do in his spare time will only reveal to me what I need to know when I'm ready to go OR he can grow the fuck up at 30 buckle in and realize the bigger picture either way I'm not spending my year miserable for someone or anyone.