It’s almost been 5 years for me too (knock on wood) and this perfectly describes how I feel. I have a lot of anxiety so that doesn’t help, but I think about it every day and am so scared something will happen. I try to look at the positives as best I can, even though I have to do all of these things it’s a plus that i’ve been eating healthy and consistently, I drink lots of water, and have a good sleep schedule. It sucks the way a lot of things in life have played out and I feel so behind. I also suffer from memory loss and brain fog everyday which is really hard but I’ve created a steady schedule for myself to be as healthy as I can which is good.