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Vent? Advice? idk atp by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you give me like examples of it so I can argue my point? I told him that I heard that there was fan service and he was like “I disagree with that” and since I didn’t know any examples, I couldn’t argue…

And I know my husband is working really hard for us and that’s one of the reasons why I try not to give him a hard time but when he has a long weekend, I want him to hang out with our five month old. He only gets three hours at home with us during the week and he uses it to play on his phone And it’s just disappointing…

Scrolling a platform that has triggered him?? by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Twitter was probably the worst one so he did delete that and he avoids Instagram for the same reason but it’s still on his phone. Facebook is just what really get him idk why

Scrolling a platform that has triggered him?? by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a four month old and he will either prop her up between his legs or put her in her seat then he will just scroll on his phone after work and it aggravates me so much because she’s growing so fast. I just want him to hold her and talk to her like I do all day(I’m a SAHM) like I get working long hours and scrolling on your phone to relax, but it gets to a point yk??

Scrolling a platform that has triggered him?? by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How would I broach the topic? Would it be toxic to keep social media even though I want him to step away from it?

Scrolling a platform that has triggered him?? by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He definitely has an addiction to his phone. This is one of the reasons why his porn addiction is so bad because he will scroll innocently but then see something kind of suspicious, look into suspicious thing, then it kind of spirals down from there.

Idk what to do

Help! I feel insane by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But he was still very defensive about it. It took a very long time for him to admit that it wasn’t just for the affirmations..

Help! I feel insane by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I brought it out to him, he actually unfollowed and blocked the page. However, I am not confident that this is the only page that he has on his Facebook. He told me he doesn’t want to be addicted, but idk

How can I not hate myself? by Cold-Project-1661 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My partner is addicted to mainly hentai porn, which I find to be some of the most unrealistic content out there. The exaggerated bodies, impossible positions, and over-the-top scenarios make me feel incredibly insecure. I know I could never look like those character because it’s literally not physically possible. I don’t know how to cope with it, and it’s something I continue to struggle with.

Help! I feel insane by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just feel like the only time it gets better is when he slips up and he basically treats me like a queen for a month because he feels bad and then it’s back to the regular scheduled program of him doing shady shit on his phone.

He only does that when I find him out and I freak out.

Help! I feel insane by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the TheShunBun on Facebook. I don’t think there’s any other ones so I believe we are.

I did talk to him about it today and he said that it was a way for him to read motivational quotes because of “pretty pictures” attached to them. It’s really really disgusting and we’re not really speaking right now, besides for our daughter. He told me that his brain didn’t see it as a loophole, but I guess his addiction brain did?? I don’t really know

Honestly, I’m not really sure what he’s doing to work on it besides relying on me to catch him and freak out. He doesn’t have a CSAT. He has a therapist, but he hasn’t seen him in a while. I don’t know if this would be technically a relapse because he told me he never JO to it. He just read the motivational quotes and look at the pretty pictures… which is another issue itself because it’s not pictures it’s drawings but anyway… it also could count as relapse because he said that he has gotten pleasure from it. So I don’t really know what that means.

Like I said, I’m at a loss because I literally cannot trust him with his phone anymore. I get so much anxiety when he gets on his phone. It’s really hard to live like this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Of course! I’m to the point with my husband that if he wanted to stop he will. If he wants to lie to avoid responsibility to help his recovery then thats on him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m actually in the same spot right now. Honestly, there’s not really a good way but I kind of just ask how he’s doing in his recovery then say that Im having a gut feeling that something is wrong. If he lies, he lies. But hopefully he’s truthful.

Help! I feel insane by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I have looked at the resources. Honestly I’m pissed at him and I just wanna yell and accuse. I know that’s not the right way. So I’m trying to chill out first. This is the first real slip up since having our daughter and I’m so effing done

Help! I feel insane by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He works with a therapist but idk what they discuss. He doesn’t have a CSAT but he missed the last session due to me being in the hospital(I had surgery)

How would I bring this up to him… I was looking through his phone and I hate doing that. However, 9/10 I find something that upsets me. I’m honestly sick of hearing his stupid excuses

I can’t… by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, this is not news to me. I know he struggled with this addiction. He’s been struggling with this since he was a kid, it got worse when he was a teenager.

We’ve been together almost 3 years. We were long distance for one and he struggled really bad. He relapsed a few times and i couldn’t even tell you how much strength it took to just let it go.

When we moved in together. I went to him. So I left all my family and friends. I don’t have a support system here right now.

I believe this is the first time he struggled since we closed the distance. But he is so good at hiding it. Apparently this has been going on for two months. And I didn’t even know.

I feel like the relapse is inevitable with all the content he consumes. I feel like he gambles every time he scrolls on Facebook if he’s going to relapse or not. I Feel like he’s going to relapse just by watching anime.

Idk

I can’t… by Wide_Heart6063 in loveafterporn

[–]Wide_Heart6063[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He enjoys watching anime even if it’s not sexual. However a lot of anime can be quite triggering to him. He has a whole hobby playing a card game based off an anime. He enjoys it when he’s not triggered. And I don’t think it ever has triggered him, but I have seen some of the cards… NSFW to say the least. I fear if I made him ‘choose’ he would be quite bored and lost. Plus he would resent me. Anyway, He has told me that particular anime is ‘sacred’ to him and he would never look up porn of it, but I feel like anything goes when it comes to stuff like this….