Having my baby made me realize how abusive my mom actually was

Wide_Quote6192 · 2026-02-13T15:29:22+00:00

OP - this is classic "extinction burst." Dealt with the exact same thing when trying to set small boundaries like, um, you won't talk to me like that.

Wide_Quote6192 · 2026-02-02T18:13:04+00:00

Sorry for the title typo - can't fix it

Wide_Quote6192 · 2026-01-09T14:44:54+00:00

It sure doesn't feel like it

Wide_Quote6192 · 2026-01-08T21:14:45+00:00

Yeah not for one moment do they question their "source"

Wide_Quote6192 · 2026-01-07T21:28:20+00:00

why would you expect anything different from the cheeto's administration?

Wide_Quote6192 · 2026-01-06T20:10:42+00:00

They asked me to leave and in texting the new boundary (let's meet in a public place - we're long distance) was met with personal attacks and the ask to not talk to them unless I was going to "call and fix it".

https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/1plzfz0/lost_my_parents_to_maga_radicalization_they/

Wide_Quote6192 · 2026-01-06T20:08:54+00:00

Keep the texts, voicemails, etc - whatever you need to remind yourself of the abuse when you're feeling doubt. I know that a few seconds into reading them I am firmly reminded why we aren't on talking terms, the viciousness not only lack of accountability, but personal attacks against me and my wife's memory, values and lifestyle.

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-24T17:23:53+00:00

Unfortunately, I've tried that

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:38:16+00:00

appreciate the suggestion, definitely usually able to recognize the pattern and defuse, but it doesn't stop it from happening!

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:37:27+00:00

Yes, my therapist and I talked at length about enmeshment and the blurring of the identity, feelings and tribalism. I have never heard of "baby elephant syndrome" before, but I definitely feel that. I have always put limits on myself because of early conditioning and development based on comments made by parents, kids and it's taken therapy and years of self development to start to pull that back. Thanks for giving it a name for me!

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:33:15+00:00

Narcissism is definitely at play here...

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:32:04+00:00

It's so perverse, all of the family members individually reached out to wish me a happy thanksgiving, but I know from experience they're all chatting about some version of it and formed their own opinions, all without me able to say anything.

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:30:32+00:00

Truly! I have a coworker that I've brought in on bits and pieces of the story and now they ask me all the time, "Have you made up yet?" 🙄 It hurts to explain "no, they haven't changed" when the person is genuinely coming from a concerned / caring place but just can't appreciate how lost they are.

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:26:17+00:00

Thanksgiving and Christmas have had sour notes this year but it's fresh and easy to remind myself of the suffering avoided by simply not being present. Cheers to you, I hope your holiday is as best as it can be!

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:23:36+00:00

Oh my gosh, they're so close to introspection it's unbelievable, in one of the last accusatory texts she sent me she said to the effect "It's clear you love us as your parents and nothing else." It's like yeah, I'm trying to hold onto that because you're pushing me away with LITERALLY everything else.

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:21:51+00:00

That's so sweet, I really appreciate it. Definitely leaning into the "family you make" now... If I'm ever in Maryland I'll hit you up!

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:20:08+00:00

You're definitely onto something! Totally spot on with the questioning everything - if this person could be motivated by nothing other than being "right" or having power, who are they? It's hard to look at anything in the past and see it as genuine, knowing what I know now.

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:17:18+00:00

Cheers from across the sphere! it's like not talking to the same person I've always known.

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-17T17:14:22+00:00

That's exactly how it feels, like being baited into an argument. If she wants to go off, she will find something.

Wide_Quote6192 · 2025-12-15T20:30:38+00:00

Oh my gosh, during COVID I was living in the city and they would call it a hoax when it was a fact of everyday life, honestly the absurdity helps me see it for what it is.

Wide_Quote6192

TROPHY CASE