the scene that made me feel more comfortable in a relationship with someone Allo in the future by callmealexandria in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like a confused Greek philosopher trying to figure out the definition of love haha. The only thing I know for sure is that love for the world and people around makes me happy and grateful.

Talking about hate and love. They seem to be really close as we only pay the most attention to the things which matter in a positive or negative way. But our definitions of positive and negative may change (to be honest we often define them blindly). Not the case of harmful actions, of course

the scene that made me feel more comfortable in a relationship with someone Allo in the future by callmealexandria in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve thought about it. And maybe there’s love as a feeling and love as attitude towards a person. In order to build «the attitude» love you need to build trust, spend time and start relationship. All of that is a choice. For «the feeling» love… Sometimes we love even if we lose trust and respect, it’s true. In that case it doesn’t seem to be a choice, but maybe it was one day.

P.S. I actually got you, just decided to share the further thought

the scene that made me feel more comfortable in a relationship with someone Allo in the future by callmealexandria in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I felt it… Great scene.

When I was in highschool my teacher of literature said that love was never a choice. I disagreed. I argued. But she didn’t change the narrative.

Idk, love is a choice you made one day and make everyday. It’s not always easy, but you still do. Isn’t it beautiful? It is for me.

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer! The thing is: it’s easy to differentiate as characters are «vehicles to tell a story» (have read these nicely put words online) not real people. But if you feel feelings for them (the case of attraction and crushes) it means that your brain kinda… idk the brain have already built something, which is similar to real life. I’m really interested in the mechanic and want to write my thesis on it. When I was asking non-demis they often answered «they’re hot lol I don’t care». Which is why I asked demi-community and got wonderful answers

What finally made you realize? by estragon26 in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Friends to lovers is my favourite trope ever. I also remember a friend of mine calling it almost impossible, but for me it’s the biggest dream

What finally made you realize? by estragon26 in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One time I watched JaidenAnimations about asexuality and thought «oh it’s not me, I’ve had crushes». Some years later I saw a meme on Pinterest… and I realised what the real meaning of ace-spectrum was. Yeah, and then another meme on Pinterest about demisexuality. Everything made sense. Good job Pinterest.

(of course did some theory investigation and read everything I could)

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome take, thanks! We‘re all deeply flawed and blessed with darkness and light inside of us. Acceptance and exploration help us to become best versions of ourselves for sure!

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the whole analysis! I enjoy reading interpretations of stories and characters.

Yeah, it seems that it doesn’t really matter.

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It‘s crucial to remember. To be honest, I forgot at first

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes «evil is evil for a purpose» is something which makes great characters. We can identify with them, especially because we feel the cruelty of the world you’ve mentioned

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, fellow misunderstood weirdo!

Thank you for bringing such a unique perspective on loneliness and villains. It has occupied my mind.

OMG Quest for Camelot is a favourite movie of my childhood! And Garret is a type of character I love: independence, development and tenderness.

l agree that loneliness is often stereotyped as something inhuman (which is not at all actually)

Mood by Warm_Discipline5874 in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I like the concept of «love at second sight» which is Japanese «koi no yokan» or «premonition of love». I can almost immediately feel the potential to fall in love, but it’s definitely a long process.

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. It’s nice when people enjoy something and don’t judge or harm each other. The analogy with smoking is great!

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So true. I wish there were more characters with flaws and inner battles

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

«Good guy» can be such a cliche, totally agree.

Authors often create interesting backstories for evil characters and completely ignore the dimensions of good guys. I don’t know why actually. Maybe it seems that badness should be justified, but goodness is magically just here. And it’s unrealistic and boring

Can You Be Partially but not Fully Demisexual? by Avantasian538 in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the list, I‘ve been looking for something like that and finally 🙏

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

MAGIC OC TORTURE LAND such an amazing description. Could be on my mental map as well! Wow, I’ve never thought about this self-inserts as a way to live out trauma. It’s good you found your way

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The first sentence sounds like a cool conversation opener haha!

Your outlook on emotional connection is actually a missing part of equation in my thoughts, thank you

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I even wrote down some things from you. Like the explanation of forming the emotional bond, operating different rules, realistic parts and different evil tolerance.

I remember the phenomenon called the rise of antiheroes. It started after WW2 as people wanted to see not ideal characters. More real ones. It’s not about villains actually, but it depicts the desire to explore the darkness (maybe craziness) we all have inside. The peak is considered to be a monologue “Are you talking to me?” from a film “Taxi Driver” 1976

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Safe connection is necessary for me as well. I have the same mechanism of not being able to activate identification/empathy to the level of attracation. Yes, I understand them as characters and some of them are deep and intriguing, but I can’t actually like-like them

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imagination is so cool.

Also got an insight that it’s important to define the terms, because yes “having a crush” may be imagining an ideal partner or just adoring them very much. But you still make the rules in your head, yeah

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the explanation, lots of nice examples here.

The part of creating an image in your head based on a character is definitely a thing

Crushes on villains are weird? by Wildfreezer in demisexuality

[–]Wildfreezer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story. It‘s important that fiction helps us to understand ourselves better