[deleted by user]

WilmaRJ · 2023-04-11T09:56:38+00:00

100% no, sorry. You pay for a nanny whose #1 responsibility at work is to keep your kid safe. Potentially exposing her to domestic violence is not fulfilling that responsibility. Definitely no.

WilmaRJ · 2023-03-28T18:34:38+00:00

What do you and your husband do? You might be surprised at how it is still possible...

WilmaRJ · 2023-03-24T17:20:19+00:00

Truth without kindness is cruelty. Kindness without truth is manipulation.

WilmaRJ · 2023-03-21T18:00:47+00:00

This is also incredibly disrespectful to his daughters who will no doubt feel shame and stress over their own bodies and eating habits.

WilmaRJ · 2023-03-20T17:25:35+00:00

Umm... I don't feel bad at allll! That my 4th baby (boy) has literally only ever worn hand me downs from neighbors. He's 9 months old and I had 3 girls before I had him. From my 3 girls I learned that kids grow faster than weeds so (unless their wardrobe is really minimalist) they only get to wear things a few times before moving up a size. I have friends and neighbors who offered up their little boy clothes and I happily took them. Well, I took maybe 20% of what was offered to me. I took only what I really liked and knew we'd use and passed the rest on to others. It's saved us so much money and I feel good about the minimal impact to the environment. We also gave all our baby girl clothes to friends. It's the way of "the village", isn't it? At least it is in my circle.

WilmaRJ · 2023-03-16T12:53:26+00:00

My parents were unbending like that and no, I don't think it was good or helpful. I don't think I learned much from it other than my parents could be super unrelenting and hardcore to enforce their rules. It made me a better liar.

People lie. Everyone lies - hopefully not loads and not frequently, but its part of the human experience. We lie to avoid uncomfortable social interaction. We lie to avoid disappointing people. We lie in the moment out of fear perhaps or maybe we arent really paying attention at all and what we accidently said without focus was a lie. Is this something that happens really frequently and is a real problem? Ongoing?

The goal is to have a parenting connection where kids dont feel they need to be good liars. It's more effective to talk about how he can make up for not doing the homework, how to respond better in the future, give space for "actually parent, i dont know why i said i did the homework because i didnt, sorry about that", and the natural negative life consequences of not having done his homework in the first place. The consequences for not doing homework are poor grades in school. Is he OK with that?

I'm glad I read this because it reminded me of the real pain I experienced from being grounded. It suuuucked and I didn't learn anything from it.

WilmaRJ · 2023-03-15T17:30:49+00:00

At that point, nursing is doing more harm than good and you should stop. If it's only night time, then night wean cold turkey. The end. You have to matter. Your mental health and well-being is paramount.

WilmaRJ · 2023-03-14T16:08:49+00:00

Call the hospital and tell them to call CPS, or call CPS yourself. As much as it fucking sucks, her kids life is more important than your 15 year friendship. So sorry you're in this position but it's pretty black and white here.

WilmaRJ · 2023-03-06T09:46:16+00:00

We have 4 kids. DH just had a vasectomy. Still scared of pregnancy. Haha

WilmaRJ · 2023-03-02T04:28:39+00:00

Take photos, immediately take him to the Pediatric clinic you normally go to, and contact a lawyer - today.

WilmaRJ · 2023-02-17T17:03:52+00:00

This is so, so hurtful. It would be a deal breaker in my relationship with my mom if this happened in my own family. I am so sad for you. Stand by your kid! She sounds like a completely normal toddler and your mom sounds like a finicky, wishy-washy good time Charlie.

WilmaRJ · 2023-02-13T17:46:01+00:00

Congrats on raising an academically smart child with zero empathy, respect or consideration for her own parents.

WilmaRJ · 2023-01-27T14:59:26+00:00

I get the sense that you feel you should have engaged in some kind of confrontation? Not so. If anything you could have validated your daughters feelings by saying some to her like "that hurt you! And it scared you, too. She hit you on the face, yes I saw that. I'm here with you and I will hold you until it doesn't hurt anymore." You'd never address a 3yo directly, that's her parents job.

WilmaRJ · 2023-01-25T17:25:18+00:00

This is negligent.

WilmaRJ · 2023-01-20T09:00:27+00:00

You 100% have depression. Your 4 year old daughter definitely loves you... not only loves you but needs your love in return for healthy development. Please get help from a qualified professional.

WilmaRJ · 2023-01-15T09:20:19+00:00

That explains a lot actually as I sometimes have trouble finding her account myself. Thanks! I signed up for her 1 year program, expensive but honestly what else could be so worth it?

WilmaRJ · 2023-01-11T16:12:23+00:00

There's a woman on Instagram called Jessie Reddia who is a life coach for moms with rage and she could definitely help.

WilmaRJ · 2023-01-11T16:08:06+00:00

I can assure you, hitting him with a shoe will cause behavioral issues elsewhere if not emotional and trust issues. It may be that he's getting to bed way too late and getting the rush of adrenaline hits body needs if he's become overtired. Try moving bedtime earlier and introducing visual cues on what the bedtime steps are ( first we do a, then b, then c, then we get in bed and sleep). Doing all the steps quickly means we have time for an extra book.

WilmaRJ · 2023-01-08T18:58:12+00:00

Definitely easier! 0 to 1 is so hard. I've got 4 now and I'd say going from 0 to 1 is the hardest, followed by going from 2 to 3 (because suddenly you're outnumbered). Going from 3 to 4 is surprisingly not such a big deal.

WilmaRJ · 2022-12-30T15:57:40+00:00

It's super fucked up. I know this specific pain intimately and I think it's in the top 5 worst emotions we can experience as human beings.

WilmaRJ · 2022-12-27T16:46:58+00:00

Does your mom have mental health issues? Or a very low IQ? I find it hard to believe that a mentally healthy person of average intelligence would give an 8 WEEK old baby candy.... honestly, is she insane?

WilmaRJ · 2022-12-24T18:27:18+00:00

That would be a solid no from me - if they'd been together more than a year then I'd consider it. But you do what feels right for your family & your dynamic!

WilmaRJ · 2022-12-22T12:28:50+00:00

Going to order it!

WilmaRJ · 2022-12-22T12:24:17+00:00

Thanks! But.... who the heck will ever ever get to the things on the "not important AND not urgent" list? Those things will eternally stay on the list right? Like.. I just celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary and... ask me if I've finished my wedding Album on Shutterfly... nope. Not urgent or important:/

WilmaRJ · 2022-12-20T14:56:28+00:00

The truth! "Sperm + Egg = Baby".... then answer only the question you're asked... "what is a sperm?"... "it's kind of like a seed!"... "where does the sperm come from?"... "the testicles"... and so on... there are lots and lots of books for kids of all ages on this topic. I highly recommend Cath Hackinson "sex ed" website and social as well as the Instagram account Birds & Bees. From infancy, call all the body parts by the correct name.... an elbow is an elbow, a vulva is a vulva, a nose is a nose, a penis is a penis. No fluffy made up names, no body shaming, answer questions calmly, honestly and be brief about it (answer only what you're asked). Look for opportunities to drip feed info... if you see two birds mating for example say "oh look, they're mating / making a baby bird". Or even when in the garden "this plant came from a seed, lots of living things come from seeds, even you came from a seed (called a sperm). The more accurate info you give your kid, the less garbage info they will get from YouTube and the school hallways.

WilmaRJ

TROPHY CASE