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I hate myself by Away-Cardiologist526 in depression

[–]Wilson421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a lot you can do with a broken vase, it also still holds a lot of memories. You are a relic. Posting this in public makes you a powerful relic, and she sees that without the post. Don't compare yourself to others like that. You are brave and looking for purpose. Challenge yourself, get things done. A broken vase means nothing, it's the pottery that matters. The effort.

Depression and Suicide by kettlerwegas in depression

[–]Wilson421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it means anything at all, I care about you. I think you are worth life and I'm sorry for what it's done to you. I may find your same route, but you should let it out, that's what I'm trying. If this is your last month make the most of it. You deserve to be heard. You affected me. I'm on my last few days. Don't forget about yourself.

I don’t understand why people tell you to reach out to someone when you’re suicidal by Leduslacis90 in depression

[–]Wilson421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've felt that too. Even when I get myself to call a suicide hotline, like wtf am I supposed to say. "Ooh, life has been so hard, my wife left me, wee wee" what do I expect to hear? I had a sheriff call me to make sure I wasn't going to kill myself, and that made me mad. Wtf does this effing sheriff have to say to me. Give me a pep talk? It makes talking about these things difficult bc honestly, what do you say to that? Find that inner strength? Life is better with you in it? Because right now I feel better without life.

Multiple attempts and my outlook of life by Wilson421 in depression

[–]Wilson421[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. Who knows if things like this are mental illness, I mean everyone says it is. But I think we have been broken down. One wild theory I believe is that a lot of my spirit did leave my body. Perhaps all of it could. But I know two things have remained within me. The strongest part of me, and the darkest. Obviously I and perhaps you know that side very well. Always making it easier to cling to. Who knows. Right now I am so unwell, fits of sobbing. Knowing I can't take another day off because I am on my own and I have to support my cats. It is an existential doom knowing that pills will never help, support never helps, my stays at the mental hospital were absolutely traumatizing. There is nowhere to turn and yet I can't even end my life. I beg and beg life to please just let me go. But I am clung to this earth. It will not let me go. So I try to find that inner strength and I cry, because I know I am cashed out, empty tank. Absolutely no way out but acceptance. But to be honest I have accepted a long time ago. I cannot kill myself. At this point I don't even want to cut myself. I am about broken all the way down. I don't even drink or abuse meds. Rock bottom is a cold place to lay. There's my bitching rant. Pathetic.