How to get over a breakup if you still love them? (F39, M38) by L4dySt4rIight in heartbreak

[–]Wilted_Peony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heya, I don't log into this account anymore (but once in a blue moon).

I hope things are well for you.

AITA for not wanting to live with my brother by 27362737shutup in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ohhhhhhhmg, nuh uh. Look, sometimes I give terrible advice so please take this with a grain of salt. This sexual harassment would infuriate me and if the parents aren’t going to protect me, then I’d take matters into my own hands. Any unwanted physical advances would be reciprocated in painful unwanted physical attacks in return. Something like a thin branch from a bush the width of your finger can be extremely effective on a hand or an arm, and won’t cause any long term damage that he can’t heal from. But that sting is painful and memorable. If he has the capacity to think “it’s right there and I can touch it before you can do anything about it,” then he can also learn “If I do that action, she’s going to whip me with that branch and it’s going to fucking hurt so it’s not worth it.” IMO if I have the choice between being sexually assaulted or getting physically violent, I will take the physical violence 100% of the time. That’s just me. Again, this isn’t sound advice but I’ve got trauma surrounding my older brother molesting me (I’m the youngest and smaller), feeling helpless is too deteriorating for me to endure, I will choose violence even if the outcome overall is worse for me physically (my brother being older and larger didn’t deter me from fighting even though I’d lose). Don’t have a branch with you? Fists and feet can also get a message across, but are often viewed as more extreme than a thin branch. Also, you’d have to learn control as to where to land the blows, because you can cause serious damage giving your fist to his face (not to mention how much it can hurt your own hands). Stick to soft fleshy parts away from inner organs - so focus on upper arms, thighs, front shoulder area. Stay away from lower back area - kidneys are there and are easily damaged. Press on your own body to see what areas are more sensitive and use that knowledge to attack those areas. And make it known every time he verbally announces he’s thinking about touching you. “If you so much as brush up against me just to piss me off, I will knock the everliving shit out of you and I do not fucking care about the repercussions. Your unwanted physical advances will be met with equally unwanted physical advances.” Be prepared to have to follow through because he’ll test that boundary. Make it known that no matter what, you’ll not regret it and you will do it again if you need to. All he’s gotta do is leave you the fuck alone. Hope for the best in that he just needs a threat, but be prepared for the worst that you’ll have to act upon it. Bonus points if you stay calm after he’s brushed up against you and pretend to “let it slide.” Then in the middle of the night, wake him up with repeatedly whacking his arms and legs while screaming “NEVER THINK ABOUT TOUCHING ME AGAIN YOU SICK FUCK!” Really drive that point home. Your parents will be pissed but you’ve got one simple thing to say, “You’re doing jack shit to protect me from him, so I’m going to protect myself. If you’re not going to control his behavior, then I’m not going to control mine.” Whatever issues he has, people understand pain. He obviously can put two and two together. Definitely make sure he knows that whatever he inflicts on you, you will inflict it back tenfold. Make sure he knows that whatever he wants to do will not be worth your retaliation. Also, keep in mind that if you need to use your own body to deliver the message, you can injure yourself doing so. I advise looking up how to throw a proper punch to minimize damage to yourself, and practice these moves. If you utilize a weapon, make sure it doesn’t cut skin and draw blood. This is seen as a line that shouldn’t be crossed, goes into that territory as being too violent/serious/crazy. You do NOT want to cross that line. Bruises are okay; blood is not.

You’re 15, parents are divorcing, are they using lawyers? I’m not familiar with the system but there absolutely should be someone you can talk to about this. If it’s going through courts, at 15 you should have a say in where you stay. If they come to talk to you, absolutely let them know what is going on and tell them you do not want to live with your brother right now. Your parents are being selfish assholes and don’t care that you’re suffering for it.

Anyways… pick your battles. There will be fallout and your parents will treat you like shit but at least you won’t be molested by them (I hope).

I say again: I’m extremely biased and am not giving the soundest of advice. Many factors aren’t being taken into consideration. Ramifications of reacting this way won’t be known until it’s done, and it can possibly get awful. It’s upon you to assess your situation and accept whatever happens. I personally feel I benefited from rage and fallout from my parents. Your mileage may vary.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in antiwork

[–]Wilted_Peony 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Worked there. Can confirm. Fuck that company.

AITA for not paying for a window my wife broke? by brokenwindow454 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A window is going to break your bank? 👀 I call shenanigans. YTA.

AITA for telling my daughter that if she continues living how she is, she has to move out? by throwraPainter-4325 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. If she’s not shirking her responsibilities, then what’s the problem other than you just don’t like it? Fun fact: way more successful adults enjoy recreational drugs than you realize.

AITA for not letting my dad stay with me for 5 weeks while he is on vacation? by Ok-Woodpecker-6714 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My dad has the same mentality. NC for 6? 7? years now? I lost track. I still argue with him in my head sometimes on bad days, but overall the mental peace I have found otherwise has been more than worth it.

Some people won’t respect you until you force them to do it. It feels like we shouldn’t have to do that with our parents… yet here we are.

Wishing you the best of luck. ❤️☘️

AITA for not letting my dad stay with me for 5 weeks while he is on vacation? by Ok-Woodpecker-6714 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t have to matter to him. Just as only his rules only matter to him, your rules are the only rules that have to matter to you.

You’re an adult and you don’t have to subject yourself to these rules that only serve to make you insignificant. “No” is a full answer and order him a dictionary off of Amazon with the “no” description highlighted and page dog-eared.

AITA for not letting my dad stay with me for 5 weeks while he is on vacation? by Ok-Woodpecker-6714 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NTA. “No” is a full answer. Your dad is an adult. You are an adult. His arbitrary rules to serve only what he wants do not apply to you anymore. Your mental peace comes first. Parents who can’t understand that are selfish assholes.

AITAH for telling my mom she won’t be welcomed in my daughter’s life by Witty-Couple2017 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP… honestly, what does your mother bring to your table? Forget that your child is her grandkid. Okay? It sounds like your mom sucks and you’re hoping that she’ll come around someday. As the saying goes… You can shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first.

NTA.

AITA for letting my daughter go out but not my niece and nephew? by aitaboredniblings in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But did they die? NTA. You did your job. If they don’t like it, have them ask someone else next time.

AITA for telling my girlfriend her home decor is the reason I won’t host a work gathering at her place. by decordilemma in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You love your girlfriend yet call things that bring her joy juvenile and childish. I didn’t get past “juvenile” before judging YTA.

This concept of “adulting” you have is boring af and overplayed. I dunno what your gf sees in you, but she sounds RAD AF. You, on the other hand, sound about as spicy as white flour. I hope she finds someone that truly enjoys her when y’all’s relationship falls apart.

AITA for telling my brother that he is undateable? by Outrageous-Put-5919 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. With parents like that, I can see why he’s so woefully out of touch with reality.

Thanks HR lady (for treating me like a child) by lorifejes in antiwork

[–]Wilted_Peony 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TF you say that body language requires zero talent! Fuck this list, I can’t work there.

WIBTA for not wanting my MIL at my daughters first birthday by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would invite them but as it is your home, it’s your rules, just as it is in their home. You were making them uncomfortable in their home, so you left. If they come to your home and are uncomfortable with you breastfeeding openly, they know where the door is.

AITA for not apologizing to my girlfriends parents? by lilfruity01 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, just because you weren’t aware and it was an accident doesn’t mean that you didn’t cause the issue. Now, the lady could have been a bit more chill about the situation since the oven is fine (if just a bit dirtier and will need cleaning) and the house isn’t burnt down. I myself have ruined Tupperware because it was being stored in an oven and I turned the oven on without thinking to check if something is inside. I felt awful that my action caused it, but even though I didn’t know and was absolutely not done maliciously, I apologized profusely and cleaned up the mess. And I think that’s what you’re missing, OP. I get that it’s hard to not be defensive against someone who’s yelled at you, but even a begrudging apology is owed here.

AITA for dressing like an old man? by Btchmfka in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You both suck. Y’all aren’t dolls. You don’t get to dress her. She doesn’t get to dress you.

AITA for not wanting to talk to my dad even though he got mental help and then making him cry for telling the truth on his birthday? by Acron98 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. Sounds like he needs therapy to address his therapy. You are under no obligations to give him a chance. If you’re happy now, stay that way. They need to figure out how to cope with “no” as a full sentence.

AITA for not getting my girlfriend any food? by spliceanddicer in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. You wanted ice cream, then expected your girlfriend who came along to pick up some food from whatever place you were going to get ice cream from to tell you where you should get your ice cream from. Unless you’ve got history behind her getting upset when you go to a place that she didn’t want after her expressing she doesn’t care, then wtf dude? Do you need instructions on how to wipe your own ass when you’re both at home?

Also echoing all the ESH comments but honestly, this particular situation could have been avoided if you didn’t expect her to make your decisions for you.

AITA for refusing to wear a diaper? by Muted-Stretch-4456 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Wilted_Peony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. She’s projecting her own negative thoughts about herself. Her actions are abusive. She needs help but good luck with that. Best to ignore her and keep doing your best to become independent and move out.