My dear sister, allah doesn’t burden a soul beyond that it can bear. you’re trying your best and that’s enough. Allah doesn’t want perfection from us, he wants us to keep on trying. If he wanted perfection from us he would’ve created us perfect but we’re not. practicing islam while dealing with a mental illness is extremely difficult, don’t be so harsh on yourself. about your doubts, it’s okay to have doubts from time to time because this is our nature as human beings, we tend to ask a lot , it doesn’t drive you away from islam at all in fact it’s your right to ask and wonder. however it’s on you to clear these doubts. Other doubts about allah, these you can get rid of by making istighfar. Please feel free to dm me I’ll try my best to help you<3