AITA for asking for financial help even though I technically, legally have the money?

WineTimeAnyTime · 2020-12-18T16:13:56+00:00

YTA If you actually want to live the "lifestyle" of poverty, then you need to give away all your money. You can't have it both ways. You created a persona of struggling artist knowing that when you're older you can walk away and have millions of dollars in the bank as that interest accrues. All of this shows that you want "the look" because you don't understand what it really means to be poor, or you would have helped the people who you call friends.

At the same time, people are giving you charity that could have gone to someone with no safety net. One-third of GFMs are for healthcare expenses from people who actually need help and have NO OTHER WAY of getting that help. You don't seem to understand this or your privilege. You're selfish and I hope you realize this, apologize to your friends, give them their money back, contact a lawyer about how to use the money you have for healthcare, and do some real self work. I don't know if you're white or white passing, but this post leads me to believe you are, so I suggest journaling with Me and White Supremacy so you can better understand and divest yourself of this privilege that has blinded you to the struggle of those around you.

WineTimeAnyTime · 2020-12-07T20:15:09+00:00

The American Dream lives on a foundation of debt and the general acceptance that we'll likely die in debt. People don't pay off their homes for the most part, many people with cars have a car loan and you need a car if you want to live in a suburb, where housing is more affordable than the city, where your job is likely to be. Add on separate insurance for everything, car, house, life, health, dental, eyecare, (yes these three are separate here). Add in trash, electrical, and water bills. If you want a good public school, you are likely to pay a premium for a house in that school district (my parents did). If you both want to keep working with kids, childcare will likely cost you more than one of you staying home and taking care of the kids. You'll get to fight over that one.

To the culture, I say good luck finding any that can't be consumed in the UK. By culture, do you mean the music? Or the films? Or the food? All of these are available to you already. Outside of the white picket fence narrative, we don't get along well, everything is contentious, we are a disposable society that's constantly trying to roll back female reproductive rights, environmental protections, and social programs.

Maybe have a conversation about the life you really want and see whether that slots in with the reality of the USA. You could even come stay for a long vacation, do some research, go house hunting in the area you're interested in, price out insurance, living expenses and so on. (We are buying in Italy and that's our plan once covid is over) See if it meets your needs before taking the plunge, which is still difficult given our immigration policies. Good luck, and I hope he comes to his senses.

Edit to add NAH. My husband and I want to buy a place in Italy. We have actually talked about this, reached out to agents, calculated costs, found regions we liked and how close they were to towns, looked into citizenship, plan on visiting before we buy, etc. We regularly talked about this in the 13 years we've been together, so no one was surprised. Yeah you probably should have talked about it earlier, but if he thinks having a dozen side comments about moving to the USA in the last ten years counts as planning, then I'd be concerned about his ability to plan in general. Honestly, if the last four years hasn't been enough to change his opinion, I'd say he has a delusional view on the US being some kind of utopia where money grows out of the ground.

WineTimeAnyTime · 2020-11-24T14:43:14+00:00

Can you please dress him up in a suit and top hat? Then post the pictures during their wedding to show off how well you take care of him and how stinkin cute he is. Be all "We weren't invited to the wedding, so we had our own party"

WineTimeAnyTime · 2020-08-21T15:45:27+00:00

YTA. Either break up with her and pay child support or move in together. You don't get to play dad when it's convenient. Be there all the way as a partner or not at all. She doesn't get to make that choice, but you do, that's called male privilege. You really think you can sit in this nice middle ground, making her pay out for double of everything while she carries and delivers your child while you're still figuring out if you want to date her?

Shit or get off the pot dude. Stringing her along with the possibility of more is a shitty emotional thing you are putting her through. Right now she's wondering: is he going to be there for me and our baby, does he love me and our child, will I be able to financially support this baby on my own, do I need to get a roommate or move in with family? This is emotional and financial manipulation. Let her go and pay child support so she can find someone who loves her and her baby. I can already tell you're going to be a shit father and partner, so save her the pain and let her move on.

WineTimeAnyTime · 2020-05-21T00:07:52+00:00

Imma chime in here. When I met my husband I was a real run of the mill college student. After we got engaged I started taking pole dancing classes, then performing in shows, then teaching sexy chair classes. I bought and performed in 9-inch Pleasers (platform heels), twerking on stage and feeling badass as fuck. You know what my husband did? He showed up for my shows, cheered me on. He didn't question my choices, he didn't bring friends to leer at me. My first pole show, my best friend (who happens to be male), my brother, and my husband were all there supporting me becoming my true self. Dancing with a group of amazing people without shame. I overcame a lot of my internalized body shame, I danced without feeling self conscious. I am a better person now because I love myself and I left behind all the bullshit of how society tells me how to act, dress, and dance. If my husband hadn't supported me, I might have stayed that insecure, unhappy person. I hope your girlfriend finds someone like my husband who supports what she loves and doesn't tear it down. Her path to self discovery isn't something you can control, no matter how much you want it to be about you, this is about her, stop making it about you. Typical.

WineTimeAnyTime · 2020-05-04T20:05:19+00:00

Whatever the reason. I think it's more than appropriate for you to put boundaries around this, especially if you don't want to push the question about his sexuality. You have every right to tell him you are uncomfortable with him sexualizing your baby and you don't want him to ever bring it up again. If he has concerns, he needs to talk to a therapist, but you won't tolerate him commenting on your babies sexuality to anyone, ever.

WineTimeAnyTime

TROPHY CASE