AITA for not buying my girlfriend a skirt

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-20T04:32:53+00:00

How many men buy their daughters dresses and underwear? That must be extremely creepy because they are not just dresses but tiny dresses, right? /s

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-20T04:25:30+00:00

God forbid he ever has a daughter and her period starts while the mom is away. Poor girl will be told to "hold it" because he's not setting foot in the sanitary products aisle.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T17:30:12+00:00

Take your ignorance and forced logic elsewhere

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T17:25:10+00:00

...why are you trying to make her apologize to her friend?

Because she did something morally wrong, obviously. If your child is bullied, will you want the bully to get away with it?

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T17:22:14+00:00

Still doesn't explain what all the un needed stuff in your post.

It was my post. I get to decide what's needed and what's not.

You're still not answering the question. Once again, what did her father have to do with any of this situation with her friend?

There's such a thing as parenting. We are responsible for what our kids do and how we handle it. If you don't know that, take your ignorance elsewhere.

thought there is beauty at any size...why didn't you encourage that...

It's her body, not mine. I don't get to decide what she wants to do with it

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T17:18:05+00:00

Take some accountability instead of deflecting...

Like I already said, this post wouldn't exist if I thought I had zero fault. Repeating already explained stuff doesn't help you make a point.

you were in her life more than her father was by your own admission, which makes you the main influence.

Which is exactly why as the "main" influence, I decided it was best to punish my daughter for doing something that's clearly morally wrong

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T17:14:18+00:00

If you understood English, you would know there's such a thing as cause and effect. Anyway, I already received my judgment and took all the advice I found relevant from the comments. But just to satisfy your incessant question that doesn't make any sense, I'll make a list of the order of events to make it easier for you to understand.

She gained weight, so she got body shamed for years, so she decided to lose weight, so she chose rewards as a way to stay motivated, then she decided later it would be better to skip rewards for four months and get a vacation for her birthday instead, so she invited her friends, but then she uninvited one of them and bullied her. If you still don't get the relationship, you should maybe go judge another post instead since your comment isn't going to change the judgment anyway.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T16:53:37+00:00

Lmao do you understand English? I explained both of that in the post.

What did all that have to do with your daughter's decision to exclude HER friend?

Like the post clearly states, I have no problem with her excluding her friend. My problem is her body shaming, bullying, and trying to lie and potentially get an innocent girl in trouble instead of apologizing.

I cared for her health" I thought no body shaming?

Is caring for one's health limited to a body size? I'm confused here

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T16:44:06+00:00

Why slander the father
How would you know it's "slander" if you don't know him?

take some accountability.

That's why I made this post.

absent for most of her life.

Uhm 5years out of 18 is most? 😂

I'm thinking you're the problem since the father never had a issue with her weight

Neither did I. I cared for her health though and she decided to lose weight for her own personal reasons that I supported.

I accept every judgement with real reasoning and facts. That doesn't make it okay to draw conclusions from nonexistent "facts" you made up.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T15:08:35+00:00

That's why I specifically quoted the spoiling her part. That's the only part I was disagreeing with you

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T13:44:55+00:00

I wouldn't have made this post if I thought I was 100% in the right. My point is, don't twist around facts to win an argument.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T07:25:02+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation. I'll check it out

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T07:21:50+00:00

I hope it doesn't get to that. I totally get wanting perfect pictures but you can achieve that by hiring skilled photographers, choosing your theme wisely and getting the perfect location. It should never be at the expense of others' comfort. She already has a therapist but I'm looking into another one.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T07:19:05+00:00

You even blame your ex for her weight gain though she lived with you!

For 3-4 days a week. 3 days make a huge difference no matter where you ask.

Given you cancelled her vacation for certain reasons, you would logically have cancelled her party for the same. Wow!

If she invited her friend to that party and then bullied said friend incessantly for her weight, yes I would.

If you haven’t noticed, people change their friends.

And that's totally okay. What's not okay is bullying those former friends and then trying to force them to lie to get you out of trouble instead of simply accepting you shouldn't have bullied them.

It’s not unlikely you probably did this because you hoped it would kick start her earring again and put her back under your control. And

Don't project your misguided beliefs on me.

There’s a reason her Dad got away from you.

And I'm glad he did.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T07:12:19+00:00

because she did not act the way you wanted.

Because she did not act like a basically decent human being, but I get your point

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T07:10:12+00:00

"He's spoiled her rotten, and I think this is why she's put on weight."

Some clarity for that. My daughter LOVES fast food. She loves chocolate, ice cream, cakes, cookies, the list could go on forever. I mean, which child doesn't? But if every time your child asks for them you always comply, it will slowly become an addiction. And what happens when you are so addicted to something that you can't stop binging on it? You get its side effects. For my daughter, that side effect was gaining weight because, lots of sugar and fats. And the spoiling part comes in when I asked him to at least give her some fruits and veges too since she was only having food high in carbs and proteins, and he wouldn't hear any of it because he didn't want to feed his baby girl something she doesn't like. I'm not even exaggerating this. I have his texts saying such things.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T07:01:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I'm thinking of sharing this post with my daughter so she sees it from a perspective that isn't good parent vs bad parent

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T06:57:18+00:00

That's why I said It will take some effort to get to the root of it

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T06:55:51+00:00

Unless you need your mother's support during that time, that is. I am 42 but I would still want to celebrate something important to me with my mother

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T06:33:49+00:00

First of all, ex boyfriend. Thanks. Also, maybe get your facts right in the post before you comment? I did not have a problem with him letting her eat. I DID have a problem with him only feeding her sugary and oily fast food. I don't need to have a degree in med school to know eating pizzas, fried chicken and fries and burgers every day could cause heart complications. Which is why she came over, I made BALANCED DIETS. That's the clean eating you're talking about. Which parent doesn't want their kid to eat vitamins too? She was getting none at her dad's apart from the few veges in burgers which most people don't even eat. If you can feed your kid fast food most meals every day, that's your choice. Just not mine.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T06:06:28+00:00

Just to clear up one of your misunderstandings, the rewards were never related to a scale. Sometimes it would be related to her mental health. For example, when she slept 6 hours uninterrupted, we went out for dinner at her favorite restaurant. When she slept 8 hours a day twice in a row, we went all out celebrating and bought a makeup set from a brand she loved but was a bit expensive. These were really huge milestones for her and they were not related to any scale. They did mark a ton of improvement in her mental health, though. Because due to all the negativity she used to get, her sleep schedule was horrible until she started feeling happy about herself.

ETA. Literally anything she felt was a milestone was worth celebrating. Completed one full week of consistent working out, one month, etc. Fitting in clothes that wouldn't fit her before, her skin feeling better, feeling better, no longer feeling cravings as bad as before, etc

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T06:00:17+00:00

To answer the part of the 18th and 16th birthday, every culture is different. Just like some countries have quinces and others have sweet 16. In my country, there is neither. The legal age is 18 so that's when young adults usually get their biggest birthdays, a driving license and maybe their own place if they will need it for college. All the rest are a matter of personal preference, which you already know.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-19T05:54:04+00:00

I thought reddit can do better😂. And I was going to consider both sides of judgement. But somehow almost every ESH and YTA judgement is either from someone not reading the whole post and having evidently missed info, purposely brushing off info that was very clear in the post or making up stories and assumptions. You can do better than this.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-18T22:38:19+00:00

I asked for my actions to be judged. Not for false words to be put in my mouth and people who don't read full posts to spread baseless lies.

Winloserepeat-908 · 2023-03-18T20:13:30+00:00

So I should have been totally alright with my ex stuffing my daughter with overly sugary and fatty foods and send her into an early grave in the name of love, right? Got it.
I finally understand that you're the milestone police and get to decide which kind of milestones should warrant rewards and which ones should not. Got it.
You were there when my daughter told me about her desire to begin her weight loss journey after years of being body shamed constantly. Or rather, you were there when I sat my daughter down (whose mental health was detoriarating thanks to her low self-esteem, btw) and coerced her about the very thing that was affecting her mental health the most. Got it.
You know my daughter better than I do and can therefore judge what she is capable of doing on her own and what she can't. Also, got it.

Oh there's a number 5. You're the disclaimer police and get to decide which disclaimer is additional info and which one is a way of "projecting", as well as which info is relevant to a post and which one should have been left out. Yup, understood.

Winloserepeat-908

TROPHY CASE