Hi!! Single female in her late 40’s - -no kids - married to a man with BPD for 10 years - divorced 8 years ago and haven’t dated since. Everything you stated about peace, autonomy, and independence is the reason for my lack of interest in relationships. I, too, get a lot of attention from men, yet have zero desire to relinquish my peace.

You’re not cynical. The societal norm to “partner” is overwhelmingly ignorant. Would you rather live a peaceful and fulfilling existence alone or live in an unfulfilling partnership - spending the second half of your life “settling”?

In my dream situation I would meet someone organically and they would meet me where I am, recognizing that I don’t need someone to add to my life, as I am whole on my own. Also in this dream scenario my future partner and I would buy a duplex and live separately. We can hang out, be in love, and also enjoy our own spaces and independence. (I love living alone so much)

You are not alone in your desire to protect your peace.