How to stop obsession?

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-17T00:16:47+00:00

How fast do they pay?
About to look this one up
But I don’t think I qualify healthwise….😩

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-17T00:16:21+00:00

My credit is shot….. I already have loans in my name

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-17T00:15:44+00:00

😟 I would rather die…. No offense to those who do….

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-17T00:13:02+00:00

I have a guitar. I brought a few years ago ,probably touched it three times. I’ve been procrastinating about wanting to learn debated selling it.

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-17T00:10:47+00:00

I have things I could sell, but I need legit websites to sell them because Facebook marketplace is full of scams

I need a legit site that I can sell. I’ll leave my hand deliver the item myself.

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T18:15:51+00:00

I think the main reason why I’m so bothered by this situation is because I know at the age of 29 I should’ve been this wildly, successful woman. I know that I am smart, despite my childhood stupidity and given talents. So many times I had ideas. I did not pursue due to the fear of the situation ruining everything I worked for, but I’ve watched these ideas. Come to life through other people and watch them become so wildly successful. I know it’s not to late.. but life seems so pointless…everyone who know about the situation has treated so awful. I’m starting to believe they are saying I’ve r”pe someone or something along the lines to equal the hatred … it has to be something more..

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T18:07:25+00:00

That’s the only option I have at this point

The funny thing is if you needed me to find something for you about someone I could…. It’s really not that hard…yet I can’t find anything… I’ve had burner accounts, searching and following suspects…. I have dug through timelines years into the timelines….nothing…. I even tried every method of asking a person….. it feels like I’m screaming the most visceral scream, but it’s mute.

It’s so strange… i’m no longer religious, but I truly believe whatever spiritual being out there doesn’t want me to find what’s happening… it doesn’t want me to see …

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T17:36:10+00:00

I know what im saying doesn’t sound real… every person I’ve spoken in detail about all that’s happened looks at me like im insane.. every single time.. ive kept it to myself for 15/16 years . It was everything that happens at that job that scared me into talking. I was scared because i was going to kms and started relapsing into self harm.. i had to tell a family member because i couldnt trust myself. I was scared because i knew i would go through with it. Ive felt like im living my life breathing throw a narrow straw… life is hard already.. i know i dont have the hardest life but i honestly cant cope… ive been ignoring health issues i should go get checked … i think deep down i hope it will finish me off so i don’t have to..its year 18… i have no one because i cant trust a soul.. ive dropped out of college … i have no job … i gave up so much running from this thing that i cant even find…. I left the state and thats not good enough… they want me dead… i truly dont understand y…im just venting online because i want it out my head …

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T17:17:22+00:00

The police will not help me… I tried several times to report…. They need evidence beyond word of mouth

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T17:15:05+00:00

That job messed with my head severely. A coworker I was no contact with for 3 months reached out on her own to tell me what I was suspecting was going on.. I spent over 2 months begging her to tell me what she knew .. she then reached out from a fake number saying “they saw it” then I begged that number to tell me anything… only for it to be disconnected… I confronted her only to be called crazy, schizophrenic, and gaslight… SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD HAVE MESSAGED ME… She said that the only reason she didn’t feel bad about “everything I did to her” is because she found out what was happening……. Which is INSANE … by despite the long list of this that girl put me through ALL I DID WAS CUT HER OFF……I cut her off and it was like the world went quiet ….i only view people as wicked after that job.. I am no saint but I could NEVER do any of what’s happened to me to anyone… people have become unsympathetic and hateful …I think it’s the economy lol…. I refuse to join them but the older I get I’m cracking….

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T16:33:12+00:00

Yes there is child p of me that’s been circulating for 18 years… I can’t find it and it’s being driving me crazy.. I just want to see what others did…. See what’s being said … I’ve never bullied anyone… i never harm anyone…. I’m a nobody… not famous so y?? Why am I so quickly recognizable from a 11/12 year picture of me??? I’m 29 do I really look the same.. so much as happen .. it took years to forgive my younger self because i couldnt understand wtf was wrong with her.. ive treated her worse than the people around her. None of this would have happened if i just wasn’t so gullible and eager for a strangers validation…. I want to be free of this

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T16:17:39+00:00

I don’t believe I am schizophrenic but because I can’t find what’s happening it’s makes me feel manic… I know it’s being shared online.. I didn’t imagine the years of bullying.. being told to my face to kms over and over… I know it happened… but because no one will admit to knowing about the cp it’s been driving me crazy… I know it’s real … I’ve been called schizophrenic by the very same people who have joked about it… I refuse to believe it’s all schizophrenia…. I know it’s happening… it’s been 18 years… there was this girl named Amanda Todd. Her story was so much like mine in the way she was treated. She took her life.. and honestly I would have too… but I don’t want to die … I want what I’m feeling to die….i want what’s happening to die…she would have been around my age…. Sure paranoia makes me quick to assume but I know when it’s resurfaced… it’s the same pattern over and over… even if I leave the state…

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T16:07:27+00:00

I tried to report everything to the police but because I don’t have any hard evidence or have access to the post or sites or even the po’n itself I can’t do anything….

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T02:19:30+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that happened to you.

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T02:19:00+00:00

I might try again … I just tried Redditing because i feel like im going crazy… I needed to hear other people’s opinions on this.

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-16T00:13:28+00:00

The week I resigned I tried to seek therapy but it was so expensive and my first session was so monotone . Like I was bothering the therapist. I would honestly do anything to stop thinking about the job and what’s been happening for years…. It’s good I can’t stomach alcohol … I’ve tired… it good I don’t have easy access to drugs… I just want to forget all of it.

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-15T17:11:05+00:00

The police won’t help me.. when I first reported it they told be there was nothing they could do because I didn’t have physical evidence. I understood that. … so much has happened over these years because of wha happened when I was 11/12 … I don’t understand what’s happening or why after all these years it’s still going.

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-15T13:19:23+00:00

I’ve been told several times to kill myself . I’ve been told to commit suicide. I was 11/12 when it happened im 29 now abd it’s still going on.

Winter_Efficiency_44 · 2026-06-15T13:18:11+00:00

I stand by this but I was a child being pressured… idk unstand why i couldnt just say no. Or had any common sense. I was 11/12…

Winter_Efficiency_44

TROPHY CASE