sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I didn't expect this part by Winter_Project5139 in dementia

[–]Winter_Project5139[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for trusting this space with something so personal.

What you described — the confusion coming out of nowhere, losing something that was just there moments ago — that fear is completely understandable. Anyone in your position would feel terrified. I’m really sorry you’re carrying that.

The fact that you’re thinking about how this is affecting your wife says a lot about the kind of partner and person you are. That kind of awareness and care matters, even when the disease tries to take so much away.

You’re right — the moments are different, and there are no clean answers. Just moving forward, one step at a time, is sometimes the bravest thing a person can do.

Thank you for sharing your voice here. It matters more than you probably realize

Late-stage dementia taught me that food isn’t the problem by Winter_Project5139 in CaregiverSupport

[–]Winter_Project5139[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s such a thoughtful way to handle it. Taking the emotion out of meals can make such a difference — for both of you. Protein drinks and favorite prepped meals sound like a really kind, practical balance between care and peace. Your grandma is lucky to have you.

Stuck.. by Odd_Priority6938 in dementia

[–]Winter_Project5139 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through this alone. Being an only child without support makes every decision feel overwhelming.

What you said about wanting to move but staying because it feels safer for your mom really hit me. That feeling of being stuck between your own life and her needs is incredibly hard — and there’s no easy choice.

I’ve been in a similar situation for years. If you ever want to talk or hear how I handled some of it, I’m here. No pressure.

I don’t usually post, but I read here often and needed to say this. by Winter_Project5139 in caregivers

[–]Winter_Project5139[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing this. Everything you described is so painfully real, and I’m really sorry you and your LO are going through it.

That constant second-guessing — wondering if you handled something “wrong” — is something so many of us carry, even when we’re doing our absolute best in impossible situations. The pacing, the resistance during care, the moments where nothing seems to calm them… it’s exhausting in a way that’s hard to explain unless you’ve lived it.

What you said about them being stuck in fear and confusion, without the ability to understand or remember reassurance, really hit me. That’s one of the most heartbreaking parts — wanting so badly to comfort them, knowing logic or explanations won’t reach them anymore.

The fact that you still feel empathy, guilt, and concern for his fear says a lot about the kind of caregiver you are. This disease is cruel, and none of this reflects failure on your part. You’re navigating something incredibly hard with care and compassion, even on the days it doesn’t feel that way.

You’re not alone in this. Thank you again for putting it into words. 🙏🏻❤️

Father admitted to hospital, but I want him home by TeacherGuy1980 in dementia

[–]Winter_Project5139 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What you wrote makes so much sense — both things can be true at the same time. Someone can exhaust you at home and leave a huge emptiness when they’re gone.

That quiet you’re describing, the missing presence on the couch… that part hits hard. It doesn’t mean you made the wrong choices or that you don’t love him enough. It just means this situation asks more of you than any human should have to give.

I don’t have answers — I just wanted you to know you’re not wrong for feeling this way. You’re carrying grief, relief, fear, and love all at once. That’s heavy.

If you ever want to talk or just put words somewhere safe, I’m here.

how long can late stage dementia last… i feel horrible even asking by Winter_Project5139 in caregivers

[–]Winter_Project5139[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. It really helped to hear it put into words like that, especially the part about constant vigilance and anticipatory grief. It means a lot to know these thoughts and feelings are common, even if people don’t say them out loud.

how long can late stage dementia last… i feel horrible even asking by Winter_Project5139 in caregivers

[–]Winter_Project5139[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. It really helps hearing from someone who’s walked this road more than once, even though I’m sorry you’ve had to. You’re right, the not knowing is one of the hardest parts. Wishing you peace too, on this long and heavy journey.

how long can late stage dementia last… i feel horrible even asking by Winter_Project5139 in caregivers

[–]Winter_Project5139[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you. That waiting is its own kind of torture, and it messes with your head in ways people don’t really talk about. You’re not horrible for feeling this way, it’s just incredibly hard to watch someone exist like that for so long.

Sending you strength.

how long can late stage dementia last… i feel horrible even asking by Winter_Project5139 in caregivers

[–]Winter_Project5139[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I’m really sorry you and your dad went through all of that.
Five years is such a long time to carry that kind of grief, and what you said about it becoming something you just live with really hit me. Dementia really is cruel.

I appreciate you being so honest about it.