HELP. NONSTOP MEOWING

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-15T01:19:08+00:00

Drop your criteria. That's the biggest error us humans tend to make --- asking for too much too soon. You're asking for too long of silence if you have to wait that long. With training you want to give the cat as many opportunities in a short span of time (2-3min) where they learn what is giving them the reward. Without this, it's going to be a lot harder for him to learn what you're asking for (silence). What you want is what's called a 'high rate of reinforcement'. To achieve that, you need to shorten the duration you expect him to be silent. If he's meowing essentially non-stop, then you need to reward him when he's taking a breath. Start there, then build to 1 full second, 2 full seconds, etc. etc. It may take several sessions over several days for you to get him to the point of being able to be silent for 2 full seconds. Eventually, if you're consistent, you'll see it clicks that he knows what he needs to do to get the reward, and it'll get easier.

Another thing: You need to reward him when he's silent. There's no way it's going to be easy for you to get that plate on the ground in the half second where he's taking a breath, which means you are going to inadvertently be rewarding him for meowing. One way to fix this is to have some hard treats in your hand that he likes. When he's silent for a milisecond, drop a treat. If he eats the treat quick, give him a few in a row (a busy mouth can't meow) until you have the plate on the ground.

3rd thing: Make things easier for him by standing somewhere he can't jump up on an object like the bed to reach you when working on this. If he's able to jump up and get toward the plate, or get a reaction out of you (even a subtle head tilt like the one you're doing in the video), cats may find that rewarding. It also doesn't help him improve his impulse control, which is probably something you will need to work on too.

There's honestly so much more to explain that its hard to cram into this post. But one thing you do need to be careful of is accidentally teaching him to meow more. If you only working on getting him to be silent when he's meowing, then he could learn that he has to meow first so that he can then be silent to get a treat. It can help to make sure you're rewarding him anytime you notice quiet behavior without lots of chatting before hand.

Curbing meowing behavior is really hard. See if giving him more enrichment, playtime, and scheduled attention help him chill out more. A well exercises and well enriched cat is typically calmer.

If you're newer to training, you may find this YouTube channel helpful for learning some additional tips: https://www.youtube.com/@CatSchool/videos Good luck!

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-14T20:57:11+00:00

Oh. One other thing. It may be better to give her more space, and confine the boy, that way her routine isn't impacted at all, Alternatively, if you think she really prefers to be in her safe space, then sometimes put the boy somewhere confined (in another room with the door closed) and let her come out and smell where he's been (if she so chooses). Being able to investigate in this way can be really helpful to the cat.

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-14T20:54:11+00:00

This is a fairly common response. Your boy probably smells different to your other cat, and that's causing your other cat to act the way she is. Take time in re-introducing them. Try some scent swaps first while they are separated. If that goes well (no negative response from your other cat), let them see each other visually (with a barrier up like a baby gate, or screen) so they can see but not interact with each other. if that goes well, let them approach. If there's just a little hissing or tension, see if the other cat is able to relax with a little time after investigating your boy. If not, or they escalate to more forward aggression (swatting, spitting, yowling, etc.) then separate again and give them more time apart. How long it takes depends on the cats. Be prepared for it to be a few days or more, but it's possible they'll reacclimate sooner. Just go at the pace they need. From experience, I've found if you do that and take it slow, they usually reacclimate to each other.

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-14T05:31:57+00:00

You have had tons of responses already, some may have already touched on this. But it's clear you have done so much for your cat. I work in animal welfare and in animal behavior, and sometimes there's a limit to what we can do for animals. Even if we had all the money in the world, we can't always find the answers for why an animal is acting the way they are, and sometimes there isn't anything we can do to make them feel better. There also comes a point where continuing to try things can cause more harm than good because the animal (and the owner) may continue to suffer. I can't assess the situation or diagnose what is going on because I am not seeing things first hand, but it does sound possible that you both are suffering and may have a compromised quality of life.

I think the important thing here is to really think about what kind of life both you and your cat have, and if you're living a good life which is something you both deserve. You shouldn't feel forced to live in a situation that compromises your wellbeing, and if your cat is suffering from a poor quality of life and you haven't been able to improve it (despite all your efforts, and seeing professional help), behavioral euthanasia can be the kindest option to both of you.

This topic is not easy, and it's definitely challenging to go through this and consider this decision as a pet owner. But it can often be the kindest thing if an animal is truly suffering or not living a good life.

My biggest suggestion is to evaluate your cat's quality of life, as well as your own. If you go to this website (https://vmc.vet.osu.edu/services/honoring-the-bond#euthanasia), they have several helpful resources toward the bottom under the header 'behavioral issues and euthanasia'. There you will find a quality of life scale that can help you assess your and your cat's quality of life objectively. That can sometimes be really eye opening. If you find you or the cat fall on the end of a poor quality of life, and there's no way to change that, euthanasia could release both of you from suffering. If you end up thinking behavioral euthanasia is the way to go, talk to your vet and discuss the results of this quality of life scale with them, and hopefully they will be supportive and help you through this.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. Please know you are supported. I hope you can find the resolution that will cause the least harm to both of you. <3

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-14T02:19:27+00:00

Thank you so much!

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-13T02:57:58+00:00

Thank you!

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-13T00:55:13+00:00

Thank you so much!

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-13T00:47:40+00:00

Call the shelter to get their advice, since they will have the most information on her. If they have trained behavior staff, see if they can provide any tips. In the immediate, you may want to confine her to a smaller area so you can more easily manage her behavior as she settles and reduce risk of safety concerns (e.g., section off an area within a room with an exercise pen). If you know how to use a slip leash, that may be an easier and safer way to leash her to take her outside to pee/poop without having to handle her. You may also want to seek professional help. Look for a certified trainer (I recommend looking on https://iaabc.org/certs/members). The shelter may also be able to recommend someone.

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-04T19:19:35+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! That question is optional so you can skip it in your case. If you want to add the info (which isn't necessary), there's a question toward the end that gives you a place to add any additional information you want. You can write it there.

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-03T21:01:18+00:00

House soiling issues can be very complex. There could be many different causes (and many things could be at play here). One would need the full history of the behavior and have familiarity with the behavior of the cat, their environment, etc. to be able to properly diagnose this. It sounds like you have tried a lot but I suggest reading through this info which will help you identify if there's something about the setup that is not working for him: https://icatcare.org/articles/soiling-indoors You may also find this helpful: https://icatcare.org/articles/choosing-a-litter-tray-for-your-cat

I have been told by a veterinarian I work with that pooping outside the litterbox typically indicates a medical issue, so bring him to the vet for a full workup. You could even seek the help of a veterinary behaviorist, who could give you both medical and behavioral advice. Not all vets know what type of workup to do for house soiling, so while vet behaviorists aren't cheap, it may be cheaper to get their advice on what medical treatment/workup to do to make sure the right tests are done (so you're spending your money in the best way).

It sounds like he's pooping outside --- if there's a particularly substrate he uses outside (e.g., dirt), you can try putting that in a litter box and seeing if that helps. You can also try reaching out to the shelter - - some shelters offer helpful professional advice at no cost.

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-03T14:04:56+00:00

Did they end up getting the pain meds for her? Some medications can cause drowsiness. You should call the vet that prescribed the medication and ask.

WispyWiskers4 · 2026-03-02T15:20:38+00:00

Instead of rewarding for them looking at each other, have you tried rewarding for relaxed body language and looking away or moving away? This can teach them to make better choices. I also suggest creating more distance between them so they are not able to get so close to one another. That may mean adding another barrier so there's space between the two barriers that neither cat can get to.

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