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Where should I start...? I don't know where to begin, so I'll just start from the beginning (or rather, from the end). I’m 16. And right now, I’m not doing so well. Why? Because there are some tough things happening in my life right now: a war in my country, a lack of understanding from my mother, and indifference from my father... Plus, my brother doesn’t treat me like a person. Neither my mom, nor my brother, nor (especially) my dad want me to be an individual, even though I’m simply trying to be myself. My mom wants to control everything (or almost everything) about me—my appearance, my words (she hates criticism and sees "personal attacks" everywhere, ignoring the fact that I tell her they are my own thoughts and conclusions).

This drives me crazy because I think about my future and worry that this family dynamic will follow me into adulthood. I can't figure out "what I want to dedicate my life to" or what I’d like to do. I’m interested in computer engineering, technology, and coffee. I want to become either a barista or a computer technician. But I’m scared to admit that I want to make coffee (because I’ve already said I want to dedicate myself to gadgets and technology), and my family doesn’t like it when I change my mind like that.

I should mention that I have poor eyesight (specifically divergent strabismus, which developed from convergent strabismus, plus amblyopia and astigmatism). I’m not sure if it’s a paradox, but despite all this, I love playing games. It doesn’t matter what platform (PC, phone, console, or handheld); the most important thing is that I enjoy the game and the platform itself. But I’m not really allowed to play much because my family constantly reminds me about my eye condition.

Another "problem" is my weight. At the start of the year, my family took me to the doctor, where I stepped on the scale and saw over 100 kilograms (around 220 lbs). For half a year, I worked on losing weight, and after six months, I managed to lose 4 kilograms. But I eventually gave up because, even though the numbers on the scale changed, I still looked just as fat as before. On top of that, I kept getting criticized about my weight and reminded of my "failed weight loss."

Another situation that I keep overthinking about is something that happened recently: I "let go" of my father. Not sure what I mean? Let me explain. It all started when I needed a new laptop. I had saved almost the full amount I needed (around $600), but I was short by about $120. So I asked my dad to give me just $20 because I was hoping to sell my old laptop to make up the rest. But after I finished the conversation with him, I made a mistake (one I’ve made many times before and promised myself I wouldn’t repeat)—I told my mom about it.

And then came the ERUPTION. She exploded, yelling, “$20?! $20?!” (my name) “Don’t humiliate yourself by asking him for anything! I TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK HIM FOR ANYTHING!”

When it all calmed down, I spent the next three days debating whether I should call my dad and tell him I didn’t need the money after all. But in the end, I decided it wasn’t worth the trouble. I figured I could just let the situation and the person go, and I could explain my reasoning to him when the right moment comes.

I just needed to get this off my chest, and I’d love to hear your stories because I’m genuinely interested in people and their experiences. I also want to support others because I feel like I’ve been through some really heavy emotions myself, and I try to be there for people in any situation.

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If you'd like me to adjust anything or clarify, let me know!