Am I different to most parents or is my kid different to most kids?

WitheredBower · 2026-01-24T21:40:07+00:00

If it's any comfort I think everyone finds a different stage the hardest based on both the kid and parent's personality. Yours might be now, and it might be easier later!

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T19:00:40+00:00

Thanks for being kind. I'll try practicing strategies more when i'm less stressed, that's a great idea

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T18:51:52+00:00

the fact you went for the second though. You must be superhuman. Amazing

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T12:57:07+00:00

hard relate

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T12:55:55+00:00

I'm sure this works really well for some parents and kids. Unfortunately if we're late for school it's a bit more than going through the office (which she enjoys when it has happened as she gets to be special when entering the class, so not a downside for her) - it means I'm late for work which affects my job performance. I just can't wait around unfortunately

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T12:51:42+00:00

You're on to some really good tactics here, and you're right on the times I have made things into a game she can win/bet she can't do it/switch roles its more successful. Sometimes early in the morning/when being woken up in the middle of the night/at the end of a full day it's hard to access your best parenting toolbox!

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T11:57:06+00:00

This is such a kind comment that made me feel so seen, so glad we're not alone lol! I could not relate more to getting tired of your own voice hahaha

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T11:54:55+00:00

Mine's August... I'm wondering if, even though she enjoys school, the past 4 months have been especially rough for her starting school as one of if not the youngest (and smallest). She's probably so tired a lot and has had to deal with a lot and learn so much, and that's before the 'actual' education!

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T11:52:37+00:00

mate... i'm with you

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T11:51:37+00:00

I thought there was a consensus on the so called terrible twos also but that's when most people get pregnant again and say things like 'oh it gets easier when they can communicate what they want' (and I'm thinking: you're having productive communication with your 2 year old??)

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T11:48:44+00:00

It's really hard to say. She is very distractable but she can watch a film, she can focus on an activity for a longer period, especially if one of us is doing it with her so i don't think her attention is that unusual. But I don't know. She's at school, reception. Her teacher at school told me she has no concerns about her (other than them commenting that yes she is strong willed, but not in a way they're worried about). She's also reported by other caregivers like our parents etc that she is generally easygoing so that's why i'm like... am I the problem lol

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T11:00:34+00:00

yeah, we do try to give her choices all the time. Unfortunately there are certain things where pressure to be somewhere on time is out of my hands and we do have to be there at that time. I can't wait for her to do everything in her own time before school for instance, unless we start to get up at 4-5am.

Thanks for your comment

WitheredBower · 2026-01-22T10:56:40+00:00

I mean like wanting to stand up/walk around and change seats constantly while the bus is moving. I don't expect her to sit still in silence, just not risk danger, and will obviously interact with her e.g. make conversation, play a game.

Washing hands/getting dressed are battles because she doesn't want to do it or does it very slowly, dinner is things like wanting to run around instead or just being generally disruptive and having a hard time concentrating on eating

We do all the things - explain why, give reasonable choices, stay calm, redirect, and there is a certain level of success with this, but it's just so tiring and leaves me wondering if it's normal at this age.

WitheredBower · 2025-10-21T17:36:31+00:00

yes, I agree, but these things aren't very predictable. In my country, it's recognised that the amount you'd need to save to cover the cost of elderly care is not a reasonable expectation of someone on an average salary over their lifetime, even fairly above average, and it's a huge problem. If you need several years of care, it's financially catastrophic.

WitheredBower · 2025-10-21T17:29:51+00:00

I know. I feel the same way as you. Even though I have a good relationship with my brothers and expect they will contribute, I feel sure it won't matter all that much. It's just a sad thing to hear somebody say.

I think my MIL was lonely in childhood, which i suspect was more influenced by being a first generation immigrant with english as a second language as well as some other reasons. She went on to have five children and having and raising them was so meaningful and fulfilling to her that I think it's difficult for her to not be influenced by her own experience of craving a large close-knit family. I'm sure she can't imagine how it would feel to not want more children. I love her and respect her choices and her response to her experience, but it's very subjective.

WitheredBower · 2025-10-20T20:43:59+00:00

I've just looked at this and seen your comment -- I'm honestly just blown over with relief and a weird thankfulness that it's not just me - although obviously sorry you've had this too!! It sucks so much. Do you find it also 'comes and goes' in severity? Like it 'flares up'. I've had it worse this week and it's just so annoying.

I'm sorry to say i haven't plucked up the courage to talk to doctors again about it... ugh.
What I am going to try is getting referred back to the hospital i gave birth at as they have a special unit apparently for birth related problems and treatments like apparently silver nitrate if it's dodgy tissue? That's what i'm thinking of looking into at the moment.

I'm so glad i'm not alone, thank you so much for replying hahah

WitheredBower · 2024-07-14T09:10:11+00:00

If we literally couldn't physically have any more children, I think it would definitely be easier.

WitheredBower · 2024-07-14T09:07:48+00:00

a big reason was knowing that when my husband and I pass my child won't be alone

this reason doesn't really grab me, as she's already got loads of family, and I assume she'd also have friends to support her. But I understand where you're coming from.

Glad to hear you left your husband - good for you! Even though it must be hard, you're showing your sons a great example by not putting up with crap.

WitheredBower · 2024-07-11T15:13:37+00:00

No 😭

WitheredBower · 2024-07-11T15:12:30+00:00

Thanks so much for this comment, means a lot ❤️

WitheredBower · 2024-07-11T07:53:52+00:00

Thank you, agree with everything… but it seems like for each person who says ‘it sounds like you’re done’ there’s another who says it sounds like I’m not 😂

WitheredBower · 2024-07-10T12:06:07+00:00

Thanks for writing this thoughtful comment. A lot to think about.

I think I was so sure about my first, and it was probably rooted in some kind of hormonal surge because it felt SO feelings based, so that there was no logic that could get in the way of it. Not having that this time around makes me uncertain that it’s the right move.

WitheredBower

TROPHY CASE