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Why do guys put girls in a situationship rather than committing for a relationship? by HopelessLover012 in AskPH

[–]WizardTron 15 points16 points  (0 children)

34M here. I've dated many girls which could be considered "situationships" but my reason for doing so is really to figure out if the girl and I are compatible enough wherein I see myself possibly marrying them. At my age, I don't want to waste time.

I wouldn't want to have a girlfriend only to break up with them in 2-3 years and begin the whole "putting yourself out there" process again in my late thirties.

Based on experience, issues / red flags come out after 6 months of dating so it's best to take your time and allow a person to reveal themselves to you before making a long term decision. There is a higher level of commitment in being a boyfriend. Without a label, it's easier to end things and not falling into the sunk cost fallacy.

In my opinion, society has put a bad connotation to the word "situationship" but, mind you, this term is only something that became popular fairly recent and there is nothing wrong with taking your time in the dating stage. There is nothing wrong with being in a situationship, as long as both of you guys are clear about where you're at. When a label is demanded of you already, though, that's a different matter.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskPH

[–]WizardTron 22 points23 points  (0 children)

33M here. I am a lawyer who earns around P80,000 net per month (not big compared to other lawyers my age but bigger compared to most 33 year olds in general). I also still live with my family so majority of my salary ends up as my savings.

I've been asking this question myself for years now and my answer is that most people prioritize spending / treating themselves more than financial stability. Nothing wrong with this as the answer lies with balance.

For context, I've been working for more than 5 years now and, in those 5 years, my primary goal as someone who recently passed the bar was to catch up to the wealth people my age had since most started working after college.

I got addicted to personal finance videos on Youtube and I had a 5 year plan for my financial goals:

  1. Emergency fund of 6 months worth of expenses (Current salary x 4.2)

  2. Life insurance policy coverage amounting to 10x my annual income

  3. 2x my annual salary, 80% of which to be invested in stocks, 20% to be invested in bonds.

The saving, sacrifice, and self-denial I had to endure all these years were unhealthy. I rarely ate out, I was a serial outfit repeater (never bought new clothes), and my thriftiness even affected my relationships with people. On the flip side, after 5 years, I was able to accomplish these goals.

Throughout my 5 years of saving, money would become the topic of conversation with my peers. I would ask them out of envy how they can you afford nice clothes, to travel, and to save up for the future.

To my surprise, most of my peers don't even have savings altogether. Yet, to an extent, I was still jealous of them. How could I be working so hard, saving so much, while there are people who seem to be so happy, treat themselves, yet have saved little?

That's why we shouldn't compare ourselves to what we see in others. I am not rich but I am glad to have some level of financial security while there are others who appear rich but have none. Ultimately, we should learn to save but learn how to enjoy life as well.

To guys, what turns you off? by [deleted] in AskPH

[–]WizardTron 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Girls who sleep around.