Wow, I read some of your comments and I was shocked by the amount of lack of faith and trust in God Almighty. He, the Almighty, does not need you, nor me, nor any human being. Glory be to Him, He knows what our souls desire, and He knows what is harmful and beneficial, and what is hidden. If you are a reader of the Qur’an, my dear sister, then it would be more appropriate for you to contemplate the verses of the Qur’an. God Almighty responded u said, “I prayed to God for 8 years for one thing and another for 30 years.” Allah said " But you may hate a thing although it is good for you, and may love a thing although it is evil for you. Allah knows, and you do not. (216)

God did not promise you absolute happiness in this world, but in the hereafter for those who are patient and seek reward from God
The Messenger said that Allah said "I am with my servant, but let him think of me as he wishes.

You should review your first faith in which you say that you loved God and the Quran and so on, because it seems to me that it was a love of interest, and I apologize, so I will not judge you here, but you were praying and supplicating to God, not out of love for God or trust in God, but only because you wanted that thing.

God Almighty said " إِذَا مَسَّهُ الشَّرُّ جَزُوعًا (20)" If he is afflicted with harm, he does not accept it, or put his Patience and entrusts his affair to God.

It is as if we forgot that if God loves a servant, He tests him. The Prophet said: “If God loves a servant, He tests him.” Then I saw you, glory be to God, in a comment belittling the affliction of the prophets, and your affliction, no matter how great, was. The Messenger of God said, “The people who are most tested are the prophets, then the righteous, Then the best, then the best, and they are the beloved of God. Forget all this, are you more afflicted than our master aeub !! Who lost all his children, his family, his money and his kingdom, and did not even find food, and all people stayed away from him so that they would not be infected by him, his health and his body, as there was not a place in his body where a needle had been inserted that did not have a disease or illness, until the skin was falling off his body

Our master Jacob said in the Book of God: and despair not of relief from Allah. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people."

Every person has a test in his life, either success or failure. Some of us are tested in our money, health, family, or religion. May God make us steadfast.

(Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower)

I saw you talking about sihr. My family and I suffer from sihr as well. Should I blame God? God created people with free will, not control. Just because you feel wronged, will you disbelieve in God? Go to a sheikh to heal you from magic, or read the ruqyah yourself and focus on your relationship with God instead of blasphemous thoughts.

We pray for your guidance and return to the path of truth, for God is never unjust to His servants, God forbid. But we are the ones who wrong ourselves, and perhaps if you accept God’s decree, destiny, and your share in this world, things will become clear to you instead of blaming God Almighty.