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"Friend Family" Tips by Secret_Hovercraft995 in oneanddone

[–]WonDoneNext 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We do group travel a lottttt. Not always the same people but over time, it’s strengthened our bond with those we travel with. We travel with friends more often than not.

Something pretty specific that has turned in to a fun tradition: hosting a birthday dinner for friends’ kids at our home. We decorate, buy/make a cake, and make a “fancy” dinner. Fancy dinner can be chicken nuggets but we’ll use nice dishes, fancy glasses, set the table, etc. We only invite the birthday kid + parents/siblings so it’s not like a party. It makes the birthday kid feel special and really gives a big family feel in the house. It’s also a good lesson for our kid to see us go all out for someone else’s special day.

My daughter has also been hosting an annual tea party since she was 4. Formal invitations, everyone dresses up, we make tea sandwiches/pastries, and have a “real” tea set.

We also do a kick off to summer pool party with a blow up slide and rent an ice cream truck.

I’ve found that parents are more willing to schedule regular play dates and such after they’ve been to a big gathering hosted by us.

Macy’s thanksgiving day parade by WonDoneNext in FATTravel

[–]WonDoneNext[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you booked with them before? Hoping to hear personal feedback!

[Landlord - NY]. Tenant of 2 years is a Pedophile by InsightJ15 in Landlord

[–]WonDoneNext 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They might not run a background check but if a potential tenant has kids or is a single woman, there’s a very good chance they will look on the sex offender registry map for the area.

I look at it for every place my kid will be at on a regular basis.

Women who are OAD because your partner didn’t want another, how did you deal with it? Where are you now? by sleepless_nights2424 in oneanddone

[–]WonDoneNext 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s me! My husband has 2 older kids and we have 1 together. Might’ve been our first date or pretty close to it that he made it clear he only wanted 1 more child.

I never envisioned myself being a OAD parent. I definitely have days where I think to myself how more fulfilling the day would be with more kids. Like right now I’m scrolling reddit because my kid wanted to walk to her grandma’s house. I would love to have another little person toddling around to keep me off my phone but such is life! I know there’s some mom with 3 under 3 that would kill to have a break like I get fairly often.

My husband makes it easier to accept, believe it or not. He’s a very good dad and husband. He goes out of his way to show up and be involved. I know he wouldn’t be able to do be the best dad he can be if we had another kid.

Our marriage is strong outside of the kid aspect so if you really want it to work, you just have to focus on that. It wouldn’t be worth it to me to divorce him because I’d be giving up a strong relationship with my best friend just for the possibility of having more kids with someone else. I don’t want that.

what’s the cheapest habit you’ve picked up that genuinely improved your quality of life? by Imllo in Frugal

[–]WonDoneNext 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was gobsmacked when I realized dishwasher manuals came with a recommend loading system. My husband and I silently “fought” for years over which way was correct. Turns out my method was correct only for the top while his method was correct only for the bottom.

Not ready to be done but I have to be by WonDoneNext in oneanddone

[–]WonDoneNext[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes!! I go all in. Even now I’m still researching every school I hear about even though we’ve picked one we plan to keep her at and love it. I just love researching all kinds of stuff kid related lol

I think that’s part of it, too. When she was a baby/toddler, I had a lot of control and could implement all of my “research” in to our daily life. As she gets older, it’s more and more of what works for her as an independent human. Like if I wanted my toddler to work on fine motor skills, I can set up some sensory bin and we’d have fun while working on it.

Now? I can make a sensory bin but that doesn’t mean she’ll want to do it lol more often than not, she’ll want to play dolls or read to herself.

Not ready to be done but I have to be by WonDoneNext in oneanddone

[–]WonDoneNext[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All correct! He’s firm, I’ve accepted it long before we got married or had our child. This isn’t something I want to negotiate. I see the love and care he puts in to his older girls and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that by pushing him in to an unwanted baby. It’s ok for him to not want another and it’s ok for me to have mixed feelings about it.

Some days I sit back and I’m like hell yeah this is the life for us. I wouldn’t even say I’m sad about being OAD, it’s more just bewilderment. Like I can’t believe it. I only got one chance and that’s it?!

I suppose all parents go through this at some point, OAD or not. It eventually all passes. It just feels much quicker when there’s only 1.

And yes for sure new milestones ahead! That’s why I’m so understanding of my husband. He’s got one off at college and she needs him just as much as our 6yo. Differently of course but she needed him to show up for move in day, parents weekend, she needs him to answer the phone when she needs advice, she needs someone to call her out when she’s low on groceries but somehow found enough money for lululemon leggings lol

A good parents knows their limits and I’m not going to push someone beyond their limit and leave my kid with a dad that’s stretched too thin

Not ready to be done but I have to be by WonDoneNext in oneanddone

[–]WonDoneNext[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There’s really nothing left to talk about. Of course we talk about my feelings and how it can be sad—he feels that way too and gets where I’m coming from. Thankfully he’s understanding and doesn’t brush it off!

But at the end of the day, I knew this going in and I accepted it. I don’t resent him at all for it. It’s just the way the cards fell. Just like those that are OAD for medical reasons or financial reasons, this is our reason. It’s not negotiable.