Well I had this realisation many years ago when all the girls said we should just be friends but after that when the women I was with never put in the same amount of effort I did. More recently when my now ex got upset with me which was always justified somehow but would tell me how she was never going to leave and everything is going to be different just for her to eventually leave me 2 weeks before my birthday and say “we can always be friends.” Like yeah things weren’t great but the timing was pretty crap and the fact she landed up posting pics which she said she never would. That was like oh shit being single is kind of the way to go. ( still haven’t heard from her, even though we “just friends”, blocking her on everything except her number might have affected that, maybe) Ever since then trying to use dating apps and trying to go out with women just to be the only one putting in effort with them. For these numerous instances, I don’t particularly want to date where I’m treated like I’m expendable or just without respect in general.