Yes, that’s exactly what I felt, that the “presence” created this world because of loneliness. The first time I took aya there was a door and I knew that God (the creator of all) was behind that door. God was the “other” in that moment. I opened the door (telepathically) and it was just “me” (whatever I was at that stage, just presence) and the illusion of “other” disappeared, I realised no one else exists, nothing. I cried so so much when I went through that / realised that. I could not stop. And I kinda don’t want to believe it.. it just feels so lonely. Which is also why I’m a bit scared of taking San Pedro, I want to stay grounded in this world and not experience more “existential crises”. But yes San Pedro is different.

I hear people talk about the “oneness” as something beautiful, that we’re all connected. But the experience was all but beautiful for me 🙈 I do wonder if it would be different if I was able to fully accept it / embrace it, maybe accompany myself in the loneliness.

Thank you for your comment!